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Hello Badgers!

Are you duelled out? Are you worrying about upcoming examinations? Or are you just in need of a tea time pick-me-up? Then I have just the perfect treat for you to devour. In dedication to our very own Sophie Downes – triple chocolate chip cookies with chocolate sprinkles.

It’s a pretty easy recipe once you take a look. To make a batch of 15 snacks you will need the following: -

200g softened butter 300g soft brown sugar 1 tsp vanilla extract 2 eggs 300g self raising flour 80g cocoa powder 1 tsp baking powder 300g chocolate chips a jar of chocolate sprinkles

All these ingredients can be located in the Hogwarts kitchens. If you can’t find what you need you can always ask the house elves. If you don’t know where the kitchens are located ask the nearest first year. Once you have all your ingredients we are going to preheat the oven to 180 c [various temperatures depending on the oven].

1.       Cream the butter and sugar until light and fluffy.

2.       Beat in the vanilla extract and the eggs – no egg shells please [no one likes an egg crunchy cookie].

3.       In a separate bowl sift flour, cocoa and baking powered together

4.       Add the flour to the creamed mix in stages. Mix well, and fold in the chocolate chips.

5.       Spoon a tablespoon of the mixture onto a baking tray and repeat until you have used up all the cookie mixture. [or the mixture you have left after eating it].

6.       Bake for 12 minutes.

7.       Once ready, place on a cooling rack. After taking out of the oven, use the chocolate sprinkles on top of the cookie, so they set in place whilst the cookie cools down.

8.       EAT ALL THE COOKIES.

If there are any left, then send some in my direction. 

Apparently, some scary stuff happened in the castle a few months ago. I really don’t remember because Gawkrodger turned me into a turtle, but he turned me into a turtle with a blowtorch strapped to her back, so that was fun.

Anyways, it seems all of you learned nothing last year and need a refresher of how not to die at Hogwarts, so here are my top ten tips to not die in a Death Eater attack.

Zig-zag. Don't run in a straight line when a Death Eater is chasing you. Keep it random and stay alive. (Don't pull a Rickon Stark)

Always carry a blowtorch. If there is one thing Death Eaters hate it's fire*, so when the death eaters come calling, set them on fire or at least weld those silly little masks into a unicorn or something.

Find someone you don't like and trip them. I mean you could really trip anyone, but see if you can locate someone you don't like first, like Dove Lightwood for instance.**

Find a really good hiding place and hide. This requires some legwork, but if you put in the effort, you too could hide in the Henry VII type suite of armor located on the fifth floor corridor two doors down from the Transfiguration classroom. Wait a minute

When in doubt slugs are you friends. Not only will turning a Death Eater into a slug factory be hilarious, but if they don't murder you. But also the slime will slow them down.

Hide behind Kimber. Well, I get to do this. Y'all have to find your own Kimber equivalent. NO STEALING MY KIMBER!! Just find someone with fancy spells and use them as a human shield.

I'll admit I didn't know this until the castle was being attacked, but find Professor Gawkrodger and have him transfigure you into a turtle. No one would ever suspect a poor, innocent turtle.

If you can't make it to your top secret hiding place, try a place that no one would ever go to even if their life depended on it, like the History of Magic classroom or Professor Knaggs' office. You'll be safe there for years.

I know this might sound like a contradiction since I wrote a whole article about killer trees last year, but go to that Whomping Willow thing and bob and weave while your attacker gets walloped.

This one takes a lot of preparation, but find a corner somewhere in the castle, commandeer it, fill it with super weird and scary stuff and you'll have an instant Death Eater repellent.

So, there you go, now stop making me right this article, just stay alive. AH AH AH STAYING ALIVEEEEEE!

*There is no evidence supporting this fact.

**Yeah, don't do this.

***Stealing Cordelia's Kimber could lead to being turning into a slug and/or being set on fire, accidentally of course.

- Cordelia Waldegrave

Dear Hufflepuffs,

It has come to my attention that I have been hoarding collecting far too many books that I have now deemed obsolete. At least, they are for me. I now wish to relief myself of these tomes. Usually, I would hold a sale for them. But, in light of recent events and the fact that my money flow is now coming from elsewhere, I believe that tagging a price tag on these items is unnecessary. You may still pay for the books (1 galleon is the blanket price) if you wish to and they will be channeled into the next phase of magimon devices.

I will be setting up a stand in the area next to the Great Hall this Saturday. See you there if you are interested.

Some books that are available…

Little People, Big Plans by Ragnok the Pigeon-Toed Little People, Big Plans is a book written by Ragnok the Pigeon-Toed. It talks about the Goblin Rights and how they are ignored by Wizards. Status: Almost New

House-Elves & Self-Hatred Volumes 2,3 and 5 by ??? House-Elves & Self-Hatred were a series of books that presumably dealt with the habit house-elves have of punishing themselves when they fail to live up to their masters' expectations. Status: Almost New

Merpeople: A Comprehensive Guide to Their Language and Customs by Dylan Marwood Self – Explanatory Status: Almost New

Hairy Snout, Human Heart by Anonymous. It was known to be a "heartrending" account of one wizard's struggle against lycanthropy. It was published by Whizz Hard Books in 1975. Status: Well-worn

Blood Brothers: My Life Amongst the Vampires by Eldred Worple Self – Explanatory Status: The book’s rim is a little torn

The Handbook of Hippogriff Psychology by ???? Self – Explanatory Status: The back cover has a claw mark? Apparently it was ‘signed’ by Sableplume

Winogrand's Wondrous Water Plants by Selina Sapworthy An award-winning book that focused specifically on the water plants among Sir Winogrand's collection in the African Lakes. Status: Well-worn

The Dark Arts Outsmarted by ???? In Desmond’s opinion, the methods listed inside are outdated. Status: A few highlights on the first few pages. Otherwise, it looks brand new

Enchantment in Baking by ???? A magical cookery book. Status: Brand new. No idea how it ended up in Desmond’s possession.

An Appraisal of Magical Education in Europe by ???? Contains information of education in Durmstrang and Beauxbatons Status: Only been read once

Dominating Dementors: A True History of Azkaban by ???? Self – Explanatory Status: Well worn

Animal Ghosts of Britain by Mopsy Fleabert This book provides basic information on the animal ghosts and how to recognise and communicate with them. Status: Well worn

… and many many more.

- Desmond Tonks

Have you ever wondered what other students think about your professors? Well here is your chance to discover just that! At the start of the year I went around asking students what they thought of different professors, asking for a quote and a rating from 0-10. While some students kept it within the rating scales, a few went way below. Of course, we are all are allowed to have opinions and hopefully our professors will not take this too personally! Below are a few quotes from students about a certain History of Magic professor who likes to use dolls to teach her lessons. 

Siobhan Arden - ‘I like professor Bourdelle, she does fun historical reenactments and has been nothing but kind to me. She’s also not super intimidating which always helps me.’

Rosie Roux - ‘Not Grimsby.’

Kimber Yates - ‘Who?’

Cordelia Waldegrave - ‘She’s the worst professor ever. She has zero facial hair, and forced me to write an essay about mustaches, because I kept complaining about missing Grimsby’s mustache.’

Alayna Weasley - ‘Well… she seems to have good intentions. I think? But her dolls are really scary and I really don’t like how she makes people go in front of the class. What if someone doesn’t have something special they want to share about themselves? That’s practically punishment and for good reason! I think… I really think she should stop that…’

Overall it seems she is not as popular as Professor Grimsby and her dolls are very hit and miss. I myself really didn’t like those dolls she had. They were scary and confusing. Taking all ratings into account, her overall her rating would be a 4 out of 10. 

Do you agree with this rating? Should it be higher or lower? Let me know and make sure to pick up the next issue of The Burrow Times to discover what the student body thinks about our next professor!

Ethan Smith

Though it has been weeks since the attacks on the castle a number of effects from the enchantments still linger in some of the established safe zones. Students should tread carefully when traveling near these areas. Reports of students being violently repelled or indescribably trapped for several hours are still occurring at random. This reporter herself was simply walking to the Great Hall last week and suddenly found herself flat on her back from an unknown cause, and it felt as though I'd been blasted by an exceptionally strong knockback jinx. I was nowhere near the dueling chamber. Oddly enough the greenhouses seem to be the least affected, if you remember it was the location where the majority of students were taken and held out of the castle. The library however, seems to have developed a tendency to, at random, choose to lock its doors and to trap several students inside for hours whenever someone's becomes exceptionally rough with it's door handle. A handful of students have reported complete hours where they think they may have been nearby the Runes corridor and later found themselves in a completely unrelated area of the castle and don't remember walking there. Some serious magic must surely be at work. if you fall victim to one of these leftover safe zone malfunctions, please alert the nearest prefect or professor at your earliest convenience. Let's hope it's all back to normal soon. Hogwarts normal anyway. Until next time, 

Seeley Pichardo