#vh.txt

Friday I met Devora first (after a long while of waiting but it was worth it), and she was so sweet just as she was before. I was telling her how much I immediately fell in love with her performance as Lae'zel, that I've never been so captivated by a character's voice so quickly and how I've loved her dearly ever since. She was very flattered. I also told her how I've played through the game a few times now, and every time I reach the crèche with the part where Lae'zel faces Vlaakith, how her “What good this heart of stone?” scene always gives me chills, literally shivered in that moment and said “Aaaha I'm even getting chills just remembering it”, and she just has this sweet smiling and approving nod like “yes that's one of the best Lae'zel lines”.

But, I requested the Act 3 sunrise romance scene quote and she remarked on how my Lae'zel art print was a great fit for the quote, and that we both love that scene so much and how beautiful it is for Lae'zel (and how lovely she is in it!)

I originally wasn't sure if I was going to have the art print or just the photo I took from the game, but this art is so gorgeous, and earlier at their panel I think it was Aliona or Jen who said that Devora's aura was gold, so I thought it would be perfect. Then she saw my second print with my storm sorcerer tav and Lae'zel kissing, and said it was so cute and went “aaaah!” while drawing a little heart between them. I was then telling her how often I take photo shots of Lae'zel because she's so expressive, and that my PC's hard drive is just full of photos of me kissing Lae'zel which made her smile.

I also told her how much I've really enjoyed her in the DnD live shows, how it's been a lot of fun to watch her play, and that I brought a gift bag for her inspired by some of those recent live plays. Inside was a pair of Scarecrow's Vampire Fangs (a brand I've used for years for cosplay, etc), and she seemed so excited almost shouting “Yes! I finally have my own fangs!”. She asked how they work and if she can wear them, and I basically explained how they mold to your teeth and you can click them in and out. She said something like “This is so cool! I'm going to tell Neil all about this, I've got fangs now!” and then gave me a hug <3 Before I left she thanked me so much and I just thanked her right back for an her work, and how her performance of Lae'zel was truly unique and something that Imho we won't see anything like for a long, long while. She thanked me again and had the most genuine smile on her face I could've melted then and there, she was such a sweetheart.

Saturday I met Neil, and by this time I was so fucked from nearly no sleep the last few days that later that evening I was starting to see shadows in the corners of my eye. I want to believe he could tell how absolutely exhausted I was.

After waiting in line for a few hours, I finally got to the table, where one of the staff complimented me by saying I look just like Krysten Ritter (I don't think so but this is not the first time I've heard this? I'm sure it's just the eyes), and as soon as I went over to Neil and he politely introduced himself and said hello, and maybe all the hours I hadn't slept caught up to me because when I opened my mouth to say anything at all, there was just… nothing… And he just asked me if I was okay, and continued the entire interaction speaking very calmly and softly (I will agonize over this forever thx), and I just apologized telling him how I'm not going to have the time to tell him everything I wish I could say to him. And he goes “Oh that's okay” (no it isn't! because there are at least 50 people behind me who have also been waiting since this morning to see you and I have less than a minute to essentially pour my heart out about your character work, but okay king!)

Well I ended up at least being able to tell him how I adore his performance as Astarion, and how this character and his acting has gripped me and reached me the most from anything across all media, whether it's shows, movies, etc, which of course he thanks me for. And I told him I know he's hearing this all weekend, all the time, but that sincerely he deserves to hear these things for the rest of time, and he just goes “Oh, I don't know about that” (hello? okay maybe I was being dramatic but I am dramatic, and honestly I wasn't sure if this was him being humble or an admittance to how this is starting to get a little old for him)

Well anyways, there was a long list of quotes to choose from to request along with the autograph, and “It's time to try living again” for whatever reason wasn't listed anywhere. So I told him that's the quote that I wanted for the first print, and was surprised to see it wasn't listed because it's one of the best and most dear to me, to which he seemed to agree and went “ooo!” at my print as he drew a little star on Astarion, which was cute. But then halfway through writing the quote the pen gives out, and he had to fumble with a few pens before finding one that worked, and I felt so so awful even though it's not a particularly long quote but at this point that long line of people was getting cut off somewhere behind me.

As he was finishing up signing the second one he kept reading out the quote for me as he signed it, and damn if that one doesn't get me every time. I mentioned how much I love that Astarion is allowed to be both tragic and silly (and that is my justification for getting two quotes lol), and I had brought two similar photos I took from the game with the Otis_Inf camera and let him choose which to sign, and asked if he'd like to keep the other for himself which he seemed happy to. Then I thanked him again for coming back to Chicago, as I missed him at FanExpo last year and thought I missed my chance to see him. He thanked for me sharing how much this means to me, did the whole it was nice meeting you, shake your hand, etc etc but then paused a moment and asked me “Would you like a hug?” and well yes, obviously I'm not going to say no, and then he gave me a hug (and now I'm sure this man knows how pathetic I was for him and that definitely won't haunt me for the rest of my life)

It wasn't until later that I noticed Neil didn't even sign his own name for the second print, he just signed it as Astarion lol (which I suppose is fair, he doesn't have pointy ears himself).

Sooo, on Sunday, I did end up meeting Neil again and finally met Jen, too! (If not for one of the lovely staff there who encouraged me to seek ADA accomodations, I'm not sure I would've gotten through the day. I'm not used to people being compassionate like that and she was such a sweetheart<3)

When approaching Neil's table again, the staff member from the other day says to me “Oh well if it isn't Krysten Ritter's genetically duplicated clone!” 💀, and I was talking with him about how I had really loved her as Jessica Jones and that I've actually cosplayed Jessica at C2E2 before, to which he said to me how he wish he could've seen because it would've been cool (when really it was just me plus a shorter black wig haha). I ended up convincing him to give me a little discount because I was paying in smaller bills, and he said “oh what the hell why not, I do like you!” (passed a persuasion roll irl with that one)

Then Neil just greeted me with a “Hello again” and I was surprised he even recognized me out of cosplay (or honestly that the other guy even remembered me, too). I tried apologizing for screwing up trying to talk to him the day before, he goes “Screwed up? I don't remember anything you screwed up” (as someone who is too kind to call someone out would probably say) and I told him how I've been so sleep deprived the entire week, only getting a few hours of sleep each night, and genuinely thanked him for his patience and for being here, doing this, and how I've got carpal tunnel and can't even imagine what this is doing to his wrist. So he reaches over and grabs one of those little wrist exercise grips, showed me how to use it, and told me how much they can really help. Then as he finished signing the art print, told me to be sure to take care of myself, I told him I'll at least try to, and as I went to walk away, he does a “come here” gesture to me and gave me another hug, reminding me again to take care of myself and be well.

I genuinely don't know where he gets the patience.

A little bit later I met Jennifer and Aliona, too, and though I got this lovely art print signed, still showed her a little print of my redeemed Durge and Shadowheart together and how they both redeemed themselves from their evil gods and lived happily ever after. (I wanted to tell her an entire story but obviously, not much time for that). She thought it was cute and was all “How'd you get the wings on them?!” and Aliona asked how I got them to hold hands. I told her it's the scene from the end of game and for a moment she looks shocked and told me “Oh I didn't know I haven't finished the game yet!” and I said “Oh no I'm so sorry! I didn't know” and Jen just laughed and reassured me that they're joking and they all know what happens at the end of the game. (I damn near got the “Joking! *Shadowheart finger guns scene* irl)

I had read from another post that Jen loves Arcane, so I asked her about it and she and Aliona both went “Of course we love Arcane, we're gay!” and I asked her who her favourite character is, and who Shadowheart's favourite character would be. She told me Shadowheart would probably love Mel the most, and that Jinx is her favourite because she relates so much to her (I almost wanted to tell her oh girl I'm sorry )':), and she asked me who my fav was (I couldn't narrow it down for the life of me so I gave her my top 3). And after thanking her again they both wished me a good rest of the con, and I headed off to say hello again to new friends that I made that weekend while waiting in line. <3

All in all it was a lovely time meeting each of them, they're all very sweet people that seem to actually care about interacting with their fans. I still wish I could've had the time to talk more with Neil about how the “imperfect victim” portrayal and difficult sides of Astarion really resonate with me, and how much I love the nuances in his acting in those especially difficult conversations with him in game. But I am thankful for the little blessings I do have and the fellow fans and artists I met throughout the weekend <3

Lae'zel art by @sarii-draws

Astarion art by @arinmoss