#vessel!multiverse

Now it’s the holiday season and you’re reminded of how fortunate couples are during the season. You trained yourself to ignore the tugs of envy when you saw couples adjusting scarves or warming each other’s hands. You looked the other way when a commercial showed something you’d love to receive from a guy. The nights were the worst when you’d get in your big bed with no one to hold you after a day of balancing work, the house, Little Dude, and yourself. Vessel always came to mind. But you’d kept him at arms length since you both showed your hands. It was an open secret that you were into each other. You were too scared to move forward but didn’t want to tell Ves to move on either. Finally, mild mannered, sweet Mr. V went in on you over text after you waffled about tacking an actual, honest to God date onto your plans of attending a holiday party with him. Suddenly drinks either before or after the party felt decisive. You were genuinely considering canceling until…*ding*

Ves: “I’m going to put this to you so plainly it’ll be cringe istg, woman. I know you’re a mum and you may not believe it but you’re a lot more than that. I know what I like. And I like YOU. I want to be WITH YOU. i want to take you out and stay in and everything else a normal person would do with his girlfriend. that also means being a father figure? Fine. Tell me when his games are and I will block off that time. right now. I’ll pick him up, drop him off, teach him how to fish. Whatever! Sign me up already because I am here and I will get on my knees like a proper sap if I must.”

You take your time reading and processing Vessel’s outburst because the three dots have yet to disappear. Finally, you get a voice message instead of a text. This should be good. You find yourself blushing and smiling so wide it hurts.

“You need to hear me when I say this,” he starts. “‘cuz I know if I just texted you this- s’cuse me sorry.”

Clearly he’s walking home from the studio from all the background noise. Such a funny thought: Mr. V walking home with his hands in his pockets, ranting into his AirPods while politely dodging folks taking their sweet time on the sidewalk.

“…that my point would not get across. Anyways. Listen.” His voice drops a bit. The soft huffs of his breath conjure up all kinds of sinful thoughts. Did he duck into an alleyway for this?

“I know what you look like. Ok? And I want to fuck you. I cannot stress to you enough that I know myself and what I’m into. You are gorgeous. Inside and out and I’ve thought about you exclusively for the past three months. And if you want to punish me for that…ok that came out…you know what I mean. Fuck. Just call me later ok? And don’t think too much about it in the meantime. Please. I love yo— fuck I’m never going to recover from this shit shit shit delet—“

You were a goner. The crush had always been there but this? This silly botched voice note? Good god. You ignore all of his “please don’t listen to that” and “oh my god I can’t fucking unsend” texts and call him instead.

“Oh my god, you liste—“

“I love you, too.”

You had no intention of catching feelings. This was for your baby. But the careful way Vessel would speak to him when he was overwhelmed brought tears to your eyes. They saw each other. Like really got one another. You also loved that he wasn’t afraid to joke around or indulge in one of your son’s tangents. It's an uphill battle each time you leave the studio and tell yourself that Vessel smiles at every parent like that when their kiddo finally nails a piece. He says everyone’s name with a little bit of anxious joy hiding underneath. 

During the summer, your son always goes on an extended stay with your parents and his cousins in the next town over. You find yourself on autopilot walking past the studio one day. It’s become a huge part of your routine. Anyone would end up going through the motions like this. Even Vessel. When you walk past, he’s sitting on the front stoop, scrolling on his phone. Filling time. Neither of you are really that surprised to see each other. 

“Do you get lonely without him?”

“Yeah,” you shrug, “more like I don’t know what to do with myself most of the time.”

Cue the nodding and avoiding each other’s gaze. You both try to say something at the same time. A bunch of “no you go ahead”s later, you get a foothold.

“Tell me it’s just me.”

He just stands there for a moment, nervously rubbing his temple. Fuck. You have misread everything. Finally he says, “I don’t like lying.”

When your son comes back from his grandparents’ house, he’s back with a new found enthusiasm for soccer. He’d been playing with his older cousins, and now his mission was to join a soccer club.

“You know that would conflict with piano, right, bubba?”

“Yeah, I know,” he replies, all cocky in the way little kids do that’s too sweet to reprimand. “Mr. V will understand. OOH! Also, look at this, mom!”

He’s already showing you travel teams he wants to join one day and talking your ear off about the grand plans for 2 v 2 games between him and his friends. Great! He has hobbies! His own little life! Soon mommy will, too.But what does Vessel think about all of this? Well, he’s conflicted. He’ll miss seeing you two each week, but that happens. People stop lessons all the time. He also worries about what might happen if you two accidentally became involved and that messes up all the work you’d done to help your son emotionally regulate. That is the last thing he wants. But the first thing he wants? To belong. He wouldn’t just be with you, he’d be in your family. Being a dad was never really on his radar but, god... If it meant building a life…providing for you both…he felt like he could do anything.