#verydoge

“Yo, you gotta try out this new date app, called Tinder” “And what does it do” “It’s basically same, you just don’t have to talk to the person first!” ... Wait what? Sounds awesome, yo download app, link your pictures and lets get the swipin’ madness started and get all the booty, right, RIGHT JACK?! How hard it can be? The Foreigns - ‘Ahoj jak se vede?? Koukal jsem na tvojí kabelku a moc ti sluší’ - Yea sure buddy, whatever. If you are from a another country that wasn’t estabilshed by the Declaration of Independece or former country of the Commonwealth, than you are going to meet alot, I mean ALOT of foreigns. As here in Prague, Czech Republic half of the tinder profiles are going to be students on holidays, planning roadtrips, visiting just for weekend .... I even found it fascinating how these people update their statuses whenever they go, and I also picked up some rule of BIG BOLD TEXT representing of how many, and which country you already visited. Well good for ya. But you better check out some social standards before you visit the country, coz I gotta tell ya bro, there ain’t no booty for ya, if you dont behave like a gentleman! Gentle does like a man! But statistically, you either don’t find a match, or you found your perfect soul mate, that is by the end of the weekend going to travel another five thousand miles away. Thank you life for another missed oppurtunity. The ‘Writers’ - Alright, what is a writer? Well basically you going to meet (Specially if you are a girl) someone who always wanted to be a story teller, screenwriter or just somebody who is so bored, that doesn’t have anything to do with his life, than just to send you one message after another. STOP IT ALREADY will ya? For god sake, I already told you everything I wanted you to know, even things I didn’t know answer to. And it just keeps coming and coming, this is unbelievable. After few houres of freedom, you start thinking that this madness is finally over. You go to sleep and you recieve a message ‘How was your day?’, and you just can’t keep it and respond ‘How the F. was your day?!’ ... Honestly, sometimes the magical three-day rule (of texting) Is really somewhat magical when you meet someone new, and even if you do exchange number you don’t really know if the special someone is going to send you a text or dont. Well this magical moment doesn’t apply on Tinder.

The Non-Responders - Now be honest, don’t tell me you never swiped somebody right (Hell, I had to find my phone and even double check if it is actually right swipe) and finally when you get connected you realized how big mistake you made??? Well it shouldn’t be That bad, but still, I mean cmon Tinder, what do you expect from us? To be concentreated whole time after 200 swipes and no connections? That is the time when people (even me) start to get into slight depression, immediatly coming to the mirror and checking themselves out and asking themselves ‘What is so bad about me?’ ... Maybe if I star working out, I find somebody, or if I stop joking so much, so people stop calling me Chandler (What up, friends refference) ... And then it happens, your true love just gave you a like, and you are so happy that even your mobile vibrated from happines of tinder match! You check it out and decide you that probbably you are not that desperate and continue to checking out another profiles (Just in case!). Well this is not how it works! At least give somebody a chance before you throw them out.

Everybody is Cool - But they are actually not. Why? Let me tell you. If you want to suceed on a dating app that its general purpose is to find matches based on your first impressions, than you going to need to get the BEST out of you. I mean cmon, what did you expect? That somebody is going to choose a profile pic from their last night party, when they ‘accidently’ fell into a garbage trash bin and their fellow so called friends took a photo of them? Well, yes. You will find some individuals that just dont simply dont give a horsesh... about their profile picture, but your first impression is to swipe that terrifying image left asap (ass soon ass possible). But if somehow somebody out there, will like your profile pic, and dont rely on their first impressions that much and want to check you out, they are going to check rest of your profile. And what do you know, this guy is so awesome he is doing sports and is studying and is working and have a part-time job, also giving donations for children and in his free time he goes shooping for his sick neighbour ... that’s so sweet ^^. Yeah right, and imma go running for president (Deez Nuts ftw!). Don’t try to be fly. Either you do so much stuff you won’t have time to hang out, or either you are not that special, get over it. Where is Waldo? - My personal favorite group of people hanging around Tinder. You just mind your buisness, and suddenly a wild photo appears and it gives you the chills and old nostalgia memories of your childhood. You are wondering why? Because you are looking at a picture of a group, that looks like having their best time on their vacation in Rome. Seriously? Like now you have to even guess where and who the mysterious so called Ashley is? Ofcourse Ashley is funny girl and either she wants to test you out, because she is so pretty and she is sick of everybody liking her profile, she just wants to find the perfect guy for her, OR she is somehow releated to the Shrek family and she wants to stay hidden from the bounty hunters. Either way, you have to play a little ‘Guess who’ game to find out ;).

Khymphie.