#verse request

Not the kink, ok. Though that’s a perfectly good kink, you go you, corruption!kink smut.

No, but for serious. Sakura is a character that’s just kind of taken for granted that she’ll be a good girl. She isn’t as rash and impulsive as Naruto and she’s not as unstable and intense as Sasuke, so she won’t flip on a dime like they might. She’s also not a paragon who requires some amazing moment of terribleness to change.

She is a good person, but she’s also just...a person. So I love to play out when Sakura is just slowly twisted and changed. Sometimes it makes her a better person, sometimes it makes her worse. In this case, though. I don’t get to play the latter enough.

Maybe she’s forced to make hard decisions for the greater good over and over until those hard decisions are easy and she doesn’t see anything she’s doing is wrong.

Maybe she keeps making compromises for the sake of someone she loves, looking out for them and being willing to sacrifice whatever is necessary, until she’s unrecognizable anymore but doesn’t realize she’s changed.

Maybe she’s seduced, lured intentionally away from the path of good step by step with comfort, kindness, love, sex, etc until she’s finally too far away from that to ever want to go back.

They’re kind of long term plots, but they’re fun verses to do.

the weapon (maul’s apprentice.)

the warrior (sequel trilogy.)

I'm so closed off and cold to so many people, and I can't turn it off. I don't really know what happened to me. I would like to blame other people; my dad (daddy issues, how cliché), or my friends who abandoned me, or my overzealous, over-involved mother. But when it comes down to it, I'm the one who's behaving the way I do. It's a domino effect.  I get a little grated on my mom who is asking about my friends hanging out without me, I tell her in a fed-up tone to drop it, she claims she's just caring about me, I demand that she doesn't care for me so much, that I'm an adult, I get a little too snappy, and she storms out telling me that I'm "so mean to her."

Believe me, I want to blame her for being so many things; over-sensitive, nosy,  annoying (which truly I think she has some issues, but that's besides the point), but why am I the one left with the guilt? It's because deep down I know that I'm the root. My friends and I have been drifting for a while, so I have sort of closed off from them. I don't see this as a bad thing really- I have other friends at college, but it still sucks. I don't blame them for not inviting me or letting me be more involved, but it hurts a little inside, like a dull headache. It's not like you can immediately feel the pain, it's just kinda there all of a sudden. (Probably getting a little too dramatic here).

I clearly need to change my attitude and have more control over my emotions. It's getting harder and harder to be with my family. It must be a sign I should permanently leave the nest. Home's not the same, but that's ok. Adjustment is hard, and how people handle change is really important to character. I really hope my character isn't getting tarnished. 

Should I go to my mom and blame myself? Probably. But I'm a coward, and a little angry right now so my apology would be bitter. She doesn't deserve that.