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When one inwardly scrutinizes this root-thought ‘I’, the feeling ‘I am the body’, in order to find out from where (or from what) it rises, it will subside and disappear because, like the false snake which appears in a rope, it has no reality of its own and hence can appear to exist only when it is not keenly scrutinized. This vigilant inward scrutiny of the source of the thought ‘I’, alone is jnana-vichara, the enquiry which leads to true Self-knowledge.

The ‘rising-place’ denote the real Self, the existence-consciousness ‘I am’, which is the source from which the thought ‘I am this body’ rises, and do not denote any place limited by time and space, which are only thoughts which rise after the rising of this root-thought.

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Since we do not become non-existent even in sleep, where the mind (the feeling ‘I am the body’) does not exist, and since we are conscious of our existence in sleep as ‘I am’, that one reality which shines forth as ‘I-I’ or ‘I am I’ when the mind merges in its source and dies, is always – in all the three states (waking, dream and sleep) and in all three times (past, present and future) – the true import of the word ‘I’.

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When the mind or ego, the feeling ‘I am this’ or ‘I am that’, by inwardly investigating who am I, thus subsides and merges in its source, the real Self, the one true existence-consciousness shines forth spontaneously as ‘I-I’ or ‘I am I’, devoid of all superimposed adjuncts such as ‘this’ or ‘that’. 

This adjunctless ‘I-I’ is Reality, Perfection, the Substance of the Self.

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Praise be to you who declared: ‘Cling firmly to That which clings to nothing, so that a firm attachment to That ensues.’  ~ Sri Muruganar  - ‘Upadesa Tiruvahaval’, 67-68

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UPADESA UNDIYAR (Tamil) or UPADESA SARAM (Sanskrit)

THE ESSENCE OF TEACHINGS - PART 13           (edited set)

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20.   In the place where ‘I’ [the mind or ego] merges, the one [existence-consciousness] appears spontaneously as ‘I-I’ [or ‘I am I’]. That itself is the Whole [purna].

Note:

When the mind or ego, the feeling ‘I am this’ or ‘I am that’, thus subsides and merges in its source, the real Self, the one true existence-consciousness shines forth spontaneously as ‘I-I’ or ‘I am I’, devoid of all superimposed adjuncts such as ‘this’ or ‘that’. This adjunctless ‘I-I’ is Self, the absolute reality, the Whole.

The words nan nan (in the original, in Tamil), which are usually translated as ‘I-I’, may also be taken to mean ‘I am I’, since in a Tamil sentence such as ‘I am this’ (nan idu irukkiren) the word ‘am’ (irukkiren) is generally dropped.

The ideas expressed in verse 19 and in this verse 20 are also expressed by Sri Bhagavan in verse 30 of Ulladu Narpadu.

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https://www.davidgodman.org/rteach/Upadesa_Undiyar.pdf

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When one vigilantly scrutinizes the form of a snake seen in the twilight, it will be found that there is no such thing as a snake at all, and that what was appearing as a snake is nothing but a rope.

Similarly, when the mind scrutinizes its own form without forgetfulness, it will be found that there is no such thing as mind at all, and that what was appearing as the mind is nothing but Self, the pure existence-consciousness ‘I am’.

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It is important to note the difference between this thought ‘I’, which is the mixed feeling ‘I am the body’, and the real ‘I’, which is the pure existence-consciousness ‘I am’.

Only when the nature of the root-thought, the first person thought ‘I’, is scrutinized will the ultimate truth that the mind has no existence whatsoever be realized.

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Merely giving up knowing external objects (or withdrawing the mind form what-is-seen) is insufficient by itself, because even though the mind gives up knowing external objects when going to sleep, it does not thereby attain true knowledge.

If it is to attain true knowledge, the mind must not only give up knowing external objects, but must also make the positive effort of attending to its own form, the first person feeling ‘I’, in order to know ‘Who am I?’

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By means of the sequence of the ideas presented in verses 16 to 22, Sri Bhagavan reveals to us the true and practical import of the scriptural teaching known as neti-neti (not this, not this). 

This teaching is generally misunderstood to mean that an aspirant should try to negate the five sheaths by meditating, ‘I am not this, I am not this’. However, in the previous seven verses Sri Bhagavan reveals that neti-neti is not intended to denote a method of practice, but only indicates the final state of experience.

That is, in verses 16 to 19 Sri Bhagavan teaches us the method of practicing Self-enquiry; in verse 20 He teaches us that as a result of such practice the reality will shine forth spontaneously as ‘I-I’ or ‘I am I; in verse 21 He declares that the reality which thus shines forth as ‘I-I’ is always the true import of the word ‘I’; and finally in verse 22 He concludes by saying that since the five sheaths are insentient and unreal, they cannot be ‘I’, the reality whose nature is existence-consciousness. 

In other words, the true knowledge that the five sheaths are not ‘I’ is an experience which can be attained only by knowing the real nature of ‘I’ through the practice of Self-enquiry.

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The reason why the scriptures begin by teaching that the five sheaths are not ‘I’, is that in order to practise Self-enquiry it is useful for an aspirant to understand intellectually that the ‘I’ which is to be attended to is not the body or any of the other adjuncts which are now felt by him to be mixed with the feeling ‘I’. 

But since Sri Bhagavan does not want us to fall a prey to the misunderstanding that pondering intellectually over the truth that the five sheaths are not ‘I’ is itself the method of negating the five sheaths, in this work He has carefully taught us the method of practising Self-enquiry before revealing to us the conclusion that the five sheaths are not ‘I’.

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