#veritasevent2

maybe because he envied them all, the people who managed to have the little boyfriends and girlfriends while he was devoting himself to instruments and notes. maybe because he wanted too a slice of that pie, and the crumbs weren’t even there for him to reach out. or maybe it was the stress talking, as malicious as ever ━making his hands tremble around his cup of beer that was losing its status as ‘fresh’, sitting down somewhere outside with his legs crossed and his face partially hidden by the hoodie of his yellow bunny kigurumi. maybe he should return home, it’s not like someone would notice him missing.

so it was probably a surprise when she showed up at the halloween party. and in costume too. decked out in earthy greens and browns, she opted to go as mother nature this year. the costume was homemade, all of nevaeh’s creativity on display as she wore vines like a sleeve and leaves like a crown. nothing encapsulated her spirit more than that of mother nature, the person who gives and gives and has so much to give but never asks for anything in return other than love and nourishment. nevaeh thought it was a little ironic, painfully so, that she was going as mother nature when mother nature’s life was at risk as they walked her land. maybe she and mother nature had more in common than she thought. 

of course, she had to be dragged by friends to go to the party. just like almost all other parties she had attended at the college. but she was still there. that had to count for something. she was tagging along just like she felt in life. just along for the ride, going through the motions. nevaeh didn’t know how to feel around parties after everything that had happened. she realized that some people viewed partying in the face of this tragedy was seen as a big ‘ fuck you ’ to the killer. but she just didn’t understand how people could compartmentalize their feelings like that. her feelings were all over the place about this party, and pretty much everything else. she wasn’t really sure why she was at this party when she was probably just going to stand in the corner or by the snacks the entire time.

entering the party, she was already shrinking herself, trying to make herself smaller. she never felt comfortable taking up space, she never really felt like she deserved to take up that much. despite her unique costume, she didn’t really want to bring attention to herself, having never been a fan of the spotlight. following her friend, she went straight to where the drinks were. she reasoned that if she was going to be at a party and try to be a normal college student ( whatever that means ) for once, she might as well have alcohol in her system. she might as well try to drink the pain away until she was numb like so many of her peers seemed to do. she poured herself a beer from the tap and took a sip. she grimaced at the taste. she remembered why she never drank beer in this moment. “why do we lie and say that beer tastes good?” she mumbled to no one in particular, just whoever happened to have the unfortunate circumstance of standing next to her at this moment.