Jul 6
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weird situation where your syshood is making you kinda on the arospec because you formed to survive an abusive relationship & distract The Self by not involving yourself in anything & basically acting like you're single (without being single (/coll)) and now you feel like there's a barrier put in-between you and your emotions because you Know you're capable of romantic love but it's as if something externally is stopping you from feeling it. and you feel guilty and uncomfortable. because you want it. but you feel as if you can't have it.
#signed by cait#sys stuff#venty post...#sorry about that#and you feel a bit jealous seeing your other headmates being able to feel it no problem#idk this is some trauma bullshit i have to work through probably but at the same time like#it genuinely feels like. a c-did thing c-diding on me right now#so I'm unsure I'll be able to change it#I'm kinda sad about this
