#venting too

That doesn't come off as a surprise to me. You don't have to tell me that because I'm well aware of that myself. I've failed as your daughter. I know.

But you've shaped me into this. You've been keeping a fire of anger towards you smoldering.

You don't know me like you say you do. You don't talk to me, you don't relate to me, you're a stranger to me. 

You don't know me whatsoever. You have no right to declare me as a failure to your wishes.

Throw money in my face to buy my love? Forget it. It doesn't work. The money's nice, but it doesn't buy love. It only buys the things that I find happiness in.

You get me everything I want and you want to continue that, but the thing is, you don't support me. You don't know what I've been through. You don't know what I believe in. You don't know what I enjoy and what I dislike. You don't know my problems, my sorrows, my opinions, my loves, or my dreams.

You think you do, but you really don't.

I know you've asked me to do things for you in the past. What you wanted them for, I'll never know. The things you asked from me were always a little strange and left me skeptical, but either way, I pushed them aside.

You don't know how much I procrastinate, but not only that, you don't know my reasons as to why I kept doing it. You never asked, you  demanded,why I didn't do it.

Those drawings you had paid me to draw for you? You don't seem to understand. As much as I love to draw, I do not like doing commissions. I don't like being paid to make something I know I'll never be proud of. I'm not proud of my work, I just enjoy doing it. And what I enjoy may or may not be appreciated by others. Rather, it'll be critiqued and judged when I'm not looking for such things. I attempted to draw your idea, but you only kept adding more and suggesting I do things this way, and that, and you had me start over countless times.

Look up some poems on the internet? Pay me for that too? Great and all, but no poets? No idea what these poems are about? Sure, I'll look them up. Oh, would you look at that, dozens and dozens of poems with the same title. You don't understand. I'm fairly sure you'll never understand considering when you were born, and that doesn't seem fair to blame on you, but it's only commons sense to understand that in order to look things up on the great and vast internet, you need to be specific. 

I'll concede you this right now. I know it's wrong of me to say yes to your requests when I know myself I will never do them. I should have given you a straight answer. However, considering how much of an intimidating person you are, I'm afraid to say no because of what you might say. You'll ask why and seem very confused, then you would go on a rant about how to be responsible and how people won't take no for an answer. You think I don't know this already? I do. I'm aware. Which is why I say yes. I'd rather disappoint someone than be harassed and misunderstood.