#vent..

Why are you all ignoring me? Is it because I'm not some overly cheerful girl who talks all the time? Why does it hurts to think staying with my mom? I feel so betrayed by even thinking this. Just imagine my father, how he will respond to this. I really wish I was more talkative. Do you all realize how much it hurts knowing that someone needs comfort and knowing how to comfort them but just can't say? Don't ignore me please I can't go through this again. Why did you gave everyone something but not me? We are 8 girls, and you gave everything something but not me. I'm the second in the class, i get high marks, my writing is good, I cam prepared to every class and never late so why don't you just notice me? Did anyone even noticed how much it hurt to watch my every friend laugh and have memories there while I watched them from afar and acted like I'm not jealous? I did everything. I studied, I started to take care of myself, making alarms waking up early every morning being respectful to those bastards forced to listen those shitty girls talking about their boyfriends and how shitty they are and still everyone ignores me just because I don't talk enough? Who even gave permission you to be a teacher? Why I can't just let go? Being alone scares me so much to the point I can't even end the friendship that clearly damages my everything. What if I will be alone? Meeting someone new is a while nightmare. So what if I don't like your new husband? You literally damaged my mental health to the point I was almost going to throw up while thinking. I hate how forgiving I am. And no, I am definitely not like how I act on online.