#vent sesh

also it's maybe my personal issue and may be i'm wrong, but i just don't like kimi antonelli, the way he clings to max is sooooo annoying, it wasn't like that last year, but this year hmmm sounds like pr to me 🤔 ollie and gabi on other hand are so precious , they genuinely so likable, and they are both baby goats, especially ollie, and max and charles adore them, always giving full attention to them, it's so obvious in comparison, for example, when max brings gabi red bull cans and invite him to the streaming, so yeah it's just so weird to see so many kimi-max discussions..sounds fake to me i'm sorry i'm not buying it 😔

Hey, boo!

It’s always fun when Carlos is F1’s villain of the week 😈 Suddenly everyone is happy to acknowledge all of his bullshit. Here is a rare thank you to Piastri for keeping his foot on Sainz’s neck with that generational run of shady quotes yesterday.

I would love to KimK’s bf to be the next one to get dragged. The sooner everyone stops hyping up this fake ‘title charge’, the sooner my sanity makes a comeback.

Don’t worry, it’s not just you. Kimi’s unpopular with a lot of fanbases. I still have mixed feelings on the guy, but I’m definitely not rooting for him. I know my main issue with him is that I feel like his driving skills are overly glazed, when a lot of his recent success is due to the shady engine and the fact that Russell’s had so many mechanical issues. I’m not giving him flowers during this weird ass season, while other people are already acting like he’s the second coming of Max 🫠 . And speaking of Max, yeah, I find the clinginess very weird. I know the touchiness is probably a cultural thing, but as someone who is nawt a touchy person, I can’t help but find it icky. Overall it’s whatever, but I do find it so funny that Kimi is constantly panting after Max and embarrassing himself, meanwhile Gabi is so obviously the favorite of Max’s ducklings 😝

Also just reminded that my sister called Kimi an industry plant yesterday… and that really does feel like an accurate way to describe him 💀 His success feels so manufactured.

So this Friday, I’ll be modeling for a blacklight body paint show. I’ll be mostly nude (just a thong and pasties) and I was feeling really good about everything. But now as the event is getting closer and I’m one of two plus size models, I’m starting to feel extremely body conscious.

I normally love my body and my curves. I don’t usually look at my body with disgust but as this event gets closer, it’s been harder to see my body as beautiful. It’s been a long time since I’ve had these kind of negative thoughts about my body.

Im not saying this to fish for compliments because between here and bartending, I get plenty of compliments on my body. I think I just need to vent about it, get the thoughts out of my head so that I can just purge it and focus on the things I do love about my body & focus on that.

i work in the uni campus. it's VERY big and very green and people have a terrible habit around these parts of abandoning animals in large green areas, like parks and obv the campus. so a couple years back some students and professors of vet med founded an organization to care for these animals, because they wound up sick and starving and breeding. great. beautiful. we (my family) help them whenever we can, with food and medicine donations, because they can't cover everything alone.

so this fine afternoon, about an hour ago, i was on my way to clock out (the clock is in a separate building from the one i work in) and i hear desperate meows, literal cries for help. me and another lady who was going by, we both stop and start looking, and we find a cat stuck on top of a building. it's not a very tall building, but there are no windows, it's built like a garage, and she's small, like she probably isn't more than a year old and has a small build anyways.

me and the lady get crazy worried. i forget i have to clock out at all. we start going around asking for help and no one seems to know what to do. we wind up at the med vet department and they tell us they can't rescue the cat. they can't. help us. rescue the cat.

which explains A LOT of the troubles the organization that actually cares for the animals here go through, tbqh.

so i'm typing this while sitting on the fucking ground waiting for firefighters because in a large ass fucking campus no one NO ONE could volunteer to find a fucking ladder that went high enough to rescue a small cat.

#VentSesh, don't care too much about others. Care about yourself and put yourself first! Surround yourself with good people. Only then you will be happiest -

I care a lot, a lot about other people. I think almost too much, as I haven’t been caring about myself much lately… I’ve been putting everyone else’s priorities before mine; and their happiness before mine. Which now, is hurting me more than ever. (SOMETHING NO-ONE SHOULD DO.)

I’ve been caring TOO much what others think of me or if i’ll let others down, and give them a reason to talk bad about…

Personal growth is essential

Honestly, this past year I’ve grown so much. With my own personal growth sometimes it goes to show somethings/people don’t change.

I’m regrounding myself. My values, my perspective, everything.

All I know is that I am growing with the season. I need to love myself fully and whole heartedly again before I even try to pour myself into someone else. I need to be happy independently rather than depending on someone. I need someone that compliments me and not completes me.

I know what I want in a lover, I know my worth, I know that me finding someone won’t happen anytime soon. But I know what I need to have a happy, loving, lasting relationship. I know what kind of love and happiness I am deserving of. All of this is my biggest lesson.

It’s gonna take time for sure. I’m taking this energy and using it as a driving force to keep me going. Keep on keeping on.