#veiledposts

Like they watched me get abused for years and I will always be angry about that, but then they say they care about me and I'm left feeling,, weird? I don't know how to explain it. It's not guilt. Or anger?

It's not easy to fight something that feels so good, it's not easy to fight your brain.

It's okay if you didn't get any work done today or if you didn't finish as much work as you intended to because of your daydreams.

My brain: It's your daydreams! You can do whatever you want in them.

Me: ...you're right.

As of late, I’ve been finding it difficult to pay attention to the teacher and write down notes in class, which is severely affecting my grades. So, I’ve tried typing them as opposed to handwriting them. Typing notes means:

- I don’t use a pencil. No pencil = no doodling, which can trigger me into a daydream

- I type faster than I write, so I get down more information. Because I’m constantly typing new information while listening to the teacher, I don’t get an opportunity to let my mind wander into a daydream.

- This is for people who can type quickly: I challenge myself to type down what the teacher is saying, word for word. This has two positives: I’m focused entirely on what the teacher is saying so I can get it down and I have a more detailed note to study off of later on.

After the library had closed, I made my way over a plaza nearby and planned to have a drink at a coffeeshop and get some more writing done, but I decided to stop by a pizza place and order 2 slices instead.

I stopped by a park and rested there while I ate the first slice, and ate the second one while walking home. But, while I was midway through, I peered inside the packet and saw... two more slices?

At first I thought it was an accident. Or maybe that, since it was late and there were 4 slices of pizza left, they decided to get rid of ‘em all on me. But I remember reading a story online about a person who was having a bad day, ordered a drink, and a worker took notice and gave them the drink in a larger size in an attempt to make them feel better.