#vehuel

@idreamonpaper @malkinse

beginning | previous | next | ao3

Silas didn't spend the night again. Lev wasn't sure if he was disappointed or relieved. There was a stressful amount of comfort in Silas' presence, and Lev didn't know how he felt about the dependence he was already building. Silas made him feel safe, but how safe was that feeling? What if Silas got bored? What if Silas was in it for the long con?

None of his doubts had stopped him from eagerly agreeing to let Silas come over every day. He had let Silas kiss him, missed when Silas' hands weren't under his shirt,  and he found himself watching more TV than he had in ages. How could he say no?

This was his first day on his own in a week, and he had been restless and hungry enough that he ventured out to the store again. Not only was he getting food that wasn't just for cooking meals, he was indulging in a sweet tooth he had almost forgotten he had.

He even allowed himself a little fun, coasting along on the back of the cart when he thought he was alone. Maybe he'd get some nutella. He wanted some apples, and maybe some raspberries. If he found some overripe bananas he could make some banana bread. Did Silas like banana bread? Lev hoped so. He did like baking more than cooking.

Lev almost ran into someone. He was making a habit of it, he realized, drawing up short and tamping down his excitement. It was for the best, he realized, when he recognized that familiar hazel gaze.

Vehuel's nostrils flared. "Levant."

Lev straightened before he could think about it, gaze dropping automatically. Omegas didn't need to make eye contact unless it was requested. Omegas were ready to listen always. Omegas-

He flinched back, forced himself to look to the side, debating the escape routes. Vehuel didn't even get to say anything in his perpetually bored voice. Lev took off, bolting too fast for Vehuel to call him back. Damn his groceries, he needed to be safe before he was fed.

There was no conscious decision. He just needed to get away. He was surprised when he found himself outside Silas' apartment. The door was locked, and no one answered when he knocked, so he slid down until he could curl up against the door. Breathing was hard, and it was equally because of running and the panic fluttering in his chest.

He was still sitting there, crying softly when Silas got home half an hour later.

"Lev, what- jeez. What happened?"

Lev looked up. Silas was crouched in front of him. Even through his tears Lev could see the shadow of a bruise across Silas' jaw. He touched it with feather light fingers, trying to calm down enough to answer. In the end he took the hand Silas offered to him and let himself be pulled inside.

He wouldn't explain, could not, knew voicing why Vehuel was such a stressor would break whatever he had built around himself. He didn't ask Silas about his own unhappy look, and instead just crawled into Silas' lap and let himself cry it out. He was safe here. Remi didn't know where Silas lived. And he'd run in the opposite direction of his apartment, so Remi definitely didn't know where Lev lived.

Silas had his hand under Lev's shirt by the time he calmed down. It was soothing, having Silas rubbing his side, holding him close. Some of the tension had eased from Silas too. The bruise was still there, but he didn't look as upset when Lev tilted his head and stole a kiss.

"I had an idea," Silas finally said, thumbing away the last of Lev's tears. "I think we both deserve a dinner you didn't have to make. You own a suit?"

Lev had to think for a moment, but he nodded eventually.

"Give me fifteen minutes to call in a favor and we can go out tonight. How does that sound?"

Lev hesitated. He'd been out once today and run into Vehuel. Did he really want to risk another encounter? But he didn't want to disappoint Silas and he felt safe tucked in Silas' arms. He nodded in the end.

Sils didn’t make him get up while he made the reservations. Lev took the chance to calm down, closing his eyes and listening to Silas’ voice without paying attention to what he was saying. Once the phone call was over, Silas tucked his cheek against Lev’s hair, breathing deep.

“We’ve got a couple hours. You wanna go home and get changed?”

Lev nodded slowly. He slid off Silas' lap, and stood awkwardly until Silas returned. Silas definitely cleaned up nice, and Lev was afraid of staring too much.

The ride back to the house was quiet, but Silas kept a hold of Lev’s hand the whole way. He only let go when Lev had to duck  into his room to get changed. It’d been just long enough he wasn’t sure if the suit would fit, but it did. He poked his head out of the bedroom, and found Silas watching the doorway intently for him to show. He blushed deeply, especially as Silas stood and made his way over.

“You look amazing,” Silas said, touching Lev’s cheek lightly. “I really wanna fuck you when we got home.”

Heat shot through Lev, and he opened his mouth to say something, but when nothing came out Silas took his hand and led him back downstairs to the car. He was hyper aware of Silas beside him the whole ride to the restaurant.

Lev didn't realize Silas really had meant it when he said they needed suits until he saw the restaurant Silas pulled up to.

"Silas..."

"You're not supposed to worry. This is supposed to be something fun, yeah?" Silas paused, and then his brows furrowed. "We don't have to though. We can go home. No strings attached, whatever you want."

Lev glanced at the restaurant, and then back to Silas. This was fine. He was fine. He closed his eyes. "I don't want to go home. But... this place... it looks expensive."

"And I've got money. More than I know what to do with. Let me spoil you. It makes me happy."

And Lev couldn't fight with that. Wasn't sure he wanted to. He got out when Silas did, and let Silas take his hand.

Silas offered him a smile when he caught Lev staring. "Chin up, yeah? It'll be fun. You like wine?"

"I don't drink," Lev admitted as he followed Silas inside. He had to fight the impulse to hide behind Silas when the hostess greeted them. She was a perfectly polite beta, and she wasn't staring, but Lev felt like he wanted to sink into the floor.

Silas didn't seem bothered. "We had a reservation," he said, adding his last name, which Liz still hasn't picked out. He glanced down at Lev. "Like, don't drink because you haven't had the chance, or don't drink don't drink? I know how weird people can get with omegas drinking."

"Don't drink. Makes me sick."

"Huh. More for me, I suppose." Silas pressed his hand to the small of Lev’s back to guide him where he wanted Lev to go. They ended up tucked in a back corner, plenty far from anyone else. “So what is your go to drink? Non alcoholic drink.” He pulled Lev’s chair out for him.

Lev sat down, and was relieved when Silas sat down beside him, not across. “Water?”

Silas burst out laughing, but he quickly smothered the sound. Lev wasn't sure if he was relieved or disappointed. He didn't want attention on them, but... he did like the sound of Silas' laugh. He liked it a lot.

"I'm not surprised. At least I don't need to fuss at you to stay hydrated, huh." Silas looked up as the waiter appeared. His hand found Lev's as he smiled. "Just two waters. And could you put them in wine glasses? Thanks."

Lev decided not to ask. He opened the menu Silas had passed him, and blinked.

“See anything you like?” Silas asked lightly.

“I don’t... know.” Lev glanced at Silas. “I guess-”

“If you say the cheapest thing I will buy the most expensive just to be spiteful.” Silas leaned over despite having his own menu, and poked at something. “How do you feel about fish?”

“It’s alright. Silas, I don’t really have any preferences.” Lev glanced up at Silas.

“Well, then think of it this way.” Silas looked smug. “It’s not the most expensive on this itty bitty menu, and it’s not the least expensive. Compromise, yeah?”

Lev frowned. Silas wasn’t wrong, though, and when he searched Silas’ expression there was nothing but genuine earnestness. “Yeah,” he said hesitantly.

He let Silas order, fiddling with the wineglass of water he’d been offered. There didn’t seem to be anything to do, and he didn’t know what to say. He felt silly, and out of place, and only Silas’ hand around his kept him from clocking where the bathroom was and making a run for it.

“Here.” Silas slapped a few blank sheets of paper in front of him. “I’m pretty sure they sent someone running to the closest store, but I really don’t care.”

“Crayons?”

“Well yeah. Any requests or are you an artist yourself?”

Lev shrugged. “I don’t draw.” He hesitated. “And I don’t have any requests.”

“Hmm.” Silas pulled out a crayon, sketching a few quick lines. “How about a blue bird?”

Well. Lev peered down at it. It was... blue, at least. “It’s, ah, nice?”

“It’s a mess,” Silas said cheerfully. “What next?”

Lev glanced at the bird Silas had attempted to draw, and considered it. "A dog?" He finally suggested.

If it were possible, that one was worse. Lev had to hide a smile behind his hand.

"It's terrible." Silas offered the crayon to Lev. "You try. Draw me a.... hmm. A flower? A tulip."

"How come I get the specific requests?" Lev mumbled. Silas laughed before he could wince.

"Ask for something specific next time, then, little guy."

Lev resisted the urge to stick his tongue out and took the pink crayon offered him. He took his time, not that it did much for the quality in his opinion. “I should try again.”

“Oh, no. You get one turn and then I get one.”

“You got two drawings!” Lev winced immediately.

Silas shook his head. “I never said I’d be fair . Gimme gimme."

Lev bit back another laugh, but obediently handed over both crayon and paper. "Draw a... can you draw you?" He asked.

"Heck yes I can." Silas dug around in the box of crayons. "Let's see here. The most beautiful jawline you've ever seen... bright blue eyes... don't laugh, those are piercings. Long...flowing... locks..."

Even being generous Lev wouldn't be able to say he could recognize what it was without Silas mumbling. Still, he leaned close, making appreciative sounds. At least Silas seemed happy to be drawing his terrible drawings. That much Lev liked to see without a doubt.

They passed the paper back and forth until their food arrived, and even then silas would occasionally snag a crayon and doodle something between bites. Lev picked at his fish, more interested in Silas, who once started could go off on tangent after tangent until Lev's head was spinning. He was never really sure if he understood everything Silas was talking about, but he liked listening anyway. Sometimes Silas would drag a story or two out of him; that was how he got to talking about how his grandmother used to train dogs. Silas seemed very excited about that, but he was quickly diverted to another topic, and Lev didn't mind letting it drift away.

Silas ended up finishing off Lev's plate when Lev got full. Lev let him, doodled nonsense on the paper that was left until Silas tapped his hand with a finger.

"You want dessert here, or do you just want to go home?"

There was something in Silas' gaze that reminded him what Silas had said before they'd left. Heat rose in Lev's cheeks, but he refused to lower his eyes. "Home sounds nice," he said faintly. His heart skipped a beat when Silas smiled, but all Silas did was wave down their waiter.

He wouldn't let Lev see the bill. Lev gave him a look, but all he did was gather up the papers while Silas pulled out several bills for a tip. Silas let him keep his silence all the way home, but outside Lev's apartment he pulled Lev to a stop.

"I can go, if you want. You've been..." Silas hesitated.

Lev waited, but Silas didn't go on. The thought crossed his mind, and telling Silas to go home, to just come back tomorrow, when a good nights sleep stood between him and decisions he wasn't sure he was ready for.

Only when it became clear Silas really was waiting for his decision did Lev reached for Silas' hand. "Don't go?" He tried to sound sure, and he didn't think he succeeded, but Silas let him lead the way inside, and that was good enough for now.

They barely had the door shut behind them before Lev went on his toes and kissed Silas, soft and shy. When he pulled back, he really did expect... some sort of negative reaction.

Instead, Silas grinned, the expression softened with fondness. "What say we lose the jackets, yeah?"

Lev nodded mutely, and let Silas push his jacket off his shoulders. He backed up to let Silas shed his own, and backed up further when Silas crowded him until his back bumped into the doorframe. He tilted his head up, and was rewarded with a kiss, a real one this time. He was hyper aware of Silas' hands pressed against his ribs. Definitely the right decision, asking him to stay.

"You wanna... we can just... couch. Movies. Take it slow?" Silas swallowed, searching Lev's face intently.

"Bed. Please? If... if you want... I want..."

That seemed to be enough for Silas. Somewhere between the doorway and the bed they lost their shoes and belts, and Lev's pants were dangerously low on his hips, already open, when Silas started undoing the buttons on his shirt, one by one. With each one, he pressed a kiss to Lev's skin, lower and lower, and only smiled when Lev stared at him with wide eyes.

Silas pressed his thumbs to Lev's hip bones, his gaze near reverent. "You sure?"

"Yeah," Lev promised. With Silas so close, with so little between his hot breath and Lev's cock, that was about all he could manage to say.

Between the two of them they got him free of the rest of his clothes, and Silas wasn't far behind. He caught Lev before Lev could roll onto his belly, giving a hoarse, "I want to see you." Then Silas went for a kiss, somehow harsh and loving at the same time. Until Silas looped Lev's arms around his neck, Lev kept his hands fisted in his covers just to be safe.

By the time Silas reached between them, Lev was all but oozing slick, his cock rock hard against Silas as he whined. Silas paused before he touched Lev, fixing Lev with a steady look.

"You want this? We don't have to."

Lev rolled his hips. "I want it. I want- please?" He arched his neck, exposing the skin there in a show of submission. He didn't think he could figure out how to beg Silas for more, but he'd try soon if Silas didn't hurry up.

Thankfully, Silas understood. He eased a finger in. Two, soon enough, stretching Lev, teasing at his rim until Lev moaned, and only then adding a third finger. While he worked he leaned over, kissing the closest bit of skin. "Yeah? You want more?" His teeth scraped against Lev's collar bone. "That okay?"

"Yes. Yeah. Yes. Si-" Lev twitched when Silas pulled his fingers out. The scent of his own arousal was maddening, and he wanted more of Silas pressed against him. Pressed in him. "Silas."

Silas shushed him gently. Between Silas' stretching and Lev's slick he eased in smoothly. Lev moaned, thrusting his hips to help Silas bottom out. He could feel Silas chuckling against his throat, and his omega all but purred at how pleased Silas seemed.

Silas was taking his time. His hands pressed against Lev's skin, mapping his ribs and tracing his hips as he rolled his hips against Lev, slow and sensual. Lev had expected more roughness, but he couldn't deny Silas' enthusiasm. Each measured thrust hit home, and each playful bite had Lev squirming.

"How do you want it, Lev?" Silas pressed a kiss to Lev's jaw. "I want to make it good."

Lev blinked at him. What did he want? "I..." He swallowed a whine as Silas stilled, fixing him with a gaze so intense he shivered. "I want..."

Silas shifted so he could brace himself on either side of Lev, and Lev's soft groan was enough to make him still again.

"I won't break," Lev blurted. "I can take whatever you want to give."

"How much do you want me to give?"

Lev swallowed. "All of it. If you want."

Silas huffed out a laugh, and was quick to kiss him. "You'll tell me if you don't like something, right?" His innocent look didn't fool Lev. "I like knowing what makes us both happy. Yeah?"

"Yeah," Lev said, knowing damn well Silas was pulling the alpha thing. Somehow he didn't mind it with Silas. He knew Silas meant well.

Silas pressed close, rocking against Lev. "More?"

"Yeah," Lev repeated, closing his eyes. His breath caught in his throat as Silas obliged. With each thrust Silas was a little more enthusiastic. He knew exactly where to aim each push of his hips, knew exactly how hard to thrust, and he punctuated every other one with a playful nip.

Lev didn't take long to be a moaning pile of putty in Silas' hands. He kissed back when Silas pressed close again, hooking his arms tighter around Silas' neck. Even when Lev felt Silas' knot forming Silas didn't pause, just groaned into the kiss. The stretch as it kept almost catching on Lev's rim was nearly too much; Lev gave a low whine as he arched up into Silas' movements.

When it finally caught, and Silas came, Silas rolled his hips again, pressing just right against Lev until Lev came as well with a small cry. Lev thought that would be it, that Silas would pull back and wait for his knot to go down, but instead Silas pressed kiss after kiss to his face, murmuring sweet nothings while he stroked Lev's cheek.

Silas rolled onto his side, pulling Lev with him. Even that jostled Lev enough he moaned again, but Silas just tucked Lev close. Silas ran a hand down his back. "Was that good? I didn't go too far did I?"

Confusion flickered in Lev's chest. He wasn't used to an alpha willingly knotting him. Usually they pulled out before they got stuck. Even when they did, none of them had ever fussed or cared about after. He shook his head belatedly, ducking his chin, but it was too late. Tears spilled over, and Silas had seen.

Once again Silas took him by surprise. There wasn't a single moment of annoyance. Instead Silas' fingers carded through his hair, not once demanding as he tried to soothe Lev.

"It's okay. Was it too much?" Silas almost smothered him with curling around Lev, and yet Lev had never felt safer than now, burrowed into Silas' chest as he cried his heart out.

"No, I just- I'm not used to- why do you care ? Alphas should be worried about themselves ." Lev sucked in a sharp breath, almost choked on his next sob. "I shouldn't be a concern of yours, I shouldn't worry you, omegas shouldn't- I'm a bad- I'm not a good omega, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm-"

"Hey. Hey. I don't know who told you that, but they lied." Silas rubbed his back, pressed a fierce kiss to the top of Lev's head. "Of course I'm going to worry about you. You're not a bad omega. You're thoughtful and sweet and kind and a good man."

Lev shook his head, giving another wet sob.

"You're allowed to cry. And you're allowed to take up space. I want to know when you're upset, so we can fix whatever is wrong." Silas was quiet for a bit longer, until Lev had calmed somewhat.

"I'm sorry," Lev finally whispered. "I...you didn't go too fast. It wasn't too much. I really... really liked it. It's been... too long. I just didn't expect you to... after. The-"

Only when it was obvious that he wasn't going to continue did Silas prompt gently, "The after care?"

Lev nodded after a moment of thought. "I didn't mean to scare you off."

"Hey, now. Who said anything about scaring me off?" Silas bit his ear lightly. "Unless you want me to go I think I'm gonna be around for a good long time."

"But why?" Lev blurted.

"Because I like you." Silas stroked a hand down his back again, not once demanding he look up. Lev kept his face buried in Silas' chest until Silas added, "You need anything?"

Lev considered that, and them said softly, "Just... keep holding me?"

"Of course. Can I stay the night, or do you want me to head out when I can?"

"Stay," Lev whispered. "I don't want to be alone."

"You won't be. I won't let you," Silas promised. His fingers lingered on Lev's hip, tracing old scars there. Lev could feel the question in the air, as Silas finally had the time to register exactly what they were. He didn't say anything yet, something Lev was extremely grateful for. "You need anything else?"

Lev hesitated.

"I don't care how silly it is, ask away."

"I like it when... you squish me? I feel... safe? Grounded. And you're warm."

Silas considered that, and then rolled a little, until he was back on top of Lev, propped up on either side of his head. They both stared, breathless for a heartbeat, before Silas said, "Like that?"

"You won't break me," Lev said, face heating.

"You said that before," Silas replied, dropping a kiss on Lev's forehead. "I believe you, but just because you can take it doesn't mean you don't deserve to be treated gently."

Lev had no answer to that, and so he closed his eyes rather than watch Silas wait for one. Not long after he felt Silas' teeth on his neck, not biting, just there. He let out a small sigh, strangely comforted. He fell asleep with Silas' face in his neck, and one of Silas' hands on his waist.

~~

The first thing Lev noticed when he woke was that Silas was still on top of him. By now Lev was on his stomach, but the steady weight at his back and the scent of contented alpha sent shivers of delight through him. This was right, this was exactly what he'd needed, if his omega was to be believed.

The second thing he noticed was the fact that he had forgotten to clean up last night and he had some regrets. He spent several minutes debating whether the need to get clean or the bone deep contentment was more important.

Silas woke before he could come to a decision. A kiss was pressed to his shoulder, and then Silas murmured, "Mornin' you."

Lev arched like a cat without thinking about it, and then flushed. His omega was smug, especially when Silas nipped at his shoulder lightly. Still, he was growing more and more aware of how uncomfortable he was. He wiggled out from under Silas, mumbling about the shower, and fled into the bathroom.

It almost felt wrong, knowing that scrubbing himself down would lessen how much of Silas' scent clung to him. The sheer possessiveness of his omega startled him. It wasn't often he got so clingy when it came to alphas. The last time he had, it hadn't ended well.

He was so wrapped up in his thoughts he didn't notice Silas had come in until Silas wrapped himself around Lev with a groan. Lev shrieked, twisting halfway before his brain caught up with him.

"Just me. You left the bathroom open, I thought it was an invitation."

It hadn't been. Lev didn't even remember deciding to leave the door open. A habit, then, left over from Remi, who liked to know there was nothing between him and the omega he claimed.

Lev forced himself to relax, and leaned back into Silas. It wasn't like Silas hadn't seen everything already. He might as well take comfort in the alpha's closeness while he was there.

Silas worried a bruise into the side of his neck, before saying, "So about breakfast."

Guilt washed over Lev. "I'm sorry, I didn't get the chance to-"

"Hey, no." Silas held him tighter to keep him from leaving. "I didn't expect you to. I was trying to say I ordered us something and it should be here in about half an hour. I didn't want to give up any time snuggling you for something as mundane as you trying to make a three course breakfast."

Lev gave up and leaned back again. "I like cooking for you."

"And I like your cooking, but not as much as I like holding you." Silas rubbed his cheek against Lev’s.

"One day that isn't gonna work."

"Sure, sure." Silas sounded amused. "Until then, let's get you washed up. I interrupted you."

Lev had plenty of time to get started, but he wasn't going to deny Silas, not when Silas was sliding his hands down Lev's sides. It seemed even just Silas rubbing shampoo into Lev's hair (even though that was not what Lev had intended to wash when he got in) was enough for Lev's omega to practically croon in pleasure. Silas was thorough. Lev relished every touch, and was almost disappointed when Silas finished. Silas stepped out, and even though he was only gone a minute or two Lev's chest started to tighten.

Silas reeled him in close and started rubbing him down the moment he got back. The scary thing was Lev could feel the anxiety peeling away with every moment he was able to snuggle close, face pressed into Silas's neck stubbornly. He stuck so close Silas gave up and just hooked his arms under Lev's legs so he could carry him to the couch.

There was no denying Silas's scent was all over him again, and that sent Lev's omega into ecstatic fits. Silas pressed a kiss to his nose before he let Lev snuggle. Lev had five minutes of peace before the doorbell rang.

“Ah, shit. Pants.” Silas dumped Lev on the couch gently, and bolted for the bedroom. Mortification shot through Lev as soon as his protesting whine left his lips. Silas reappeared holding his slacks up with one hand, cash between his teeth. Lev chose to bury his face in the throw pillow rather than listen to Silas pay for the breakfast he'd gotten delivered.

Silas climbed back onto the couch, arms full of food. He dumped those to the side and pulled Lev in his lap. Lev refused to let himself think about how relieved he was that Silas was within touching distance again. He rubbed his cheek against Silas, and didn't stop until Silas wrapped him up in his arms again.

"You know, we still have to eat."

Lev shook his head, keeping his nose pressed to Silas' neck. It took a few moments of coaxing before Silas got him out, settled sideways in his lap. He went cross eyed before he accepted the bite of bacon Silas offered. With a flush he didn't quite know how to explain, he remembered a very similar moment from his heat. The memory was hazy, but the pleased press of Silas' lips to Lev's forehead was not. Lev couldn't bring himself to care.

"So I thought we could go to the park today," Silas said, several minutes and a chicken biscuit later. Lev swallowed a protest; if Silas wanted to go out, he'd go out. To his relief, though, Silas saw his expression and backtracked. "Or not. We could just stay in." He fed Lev a grape, grinned mischievously. "Could knot you again. Make you smell like me inside and out."