#vcawest

   We had a scare with Bucky yesterday.  He started showing symptoms around 3am of what we suspected was an internal bleed, he became restless and his breathing became shallow; we gave him the emergency yunnan baiyao red pill around 5:15am.  He had no interest in food, no desire to go out.    Lethargy and calm settled in and he crashed, but he still had pink gums, he wasn't hiding himself away, he wasn't agitated.  Our onco tech Tom wasn't convinced it was a bleed, but we're not sure what's causing these episodes, the second in two weeks,  nothing has shown up on his tests.  All I know was at mid-morning I was thinking we should have a vet lined up to come by the house that night in case this was it.     By the afternoon I heard crunching and found him with a treat between his paws (see below).

  He barked at the mail man, he enjoyed a dinner of roast chicken and brown rice, and had a gentle  stroll with us up the block.  This cancer is going to fuck with us as much as it can.  Fortunately Bucky was in no pain and is just a bit tired from the whole thing.

We were hovering and checking him constantly, and Tom told us  "Don't hover, don't check him constantly.  He's a sensitive dog, you'll freak him out.  Act normal, treat him as you normally would."  Good advice.  Bucky hadn't got off his bed in hours, hadn't relieved himself yet that morning.  I hung up the phone and put on my best no-nonsense voice and said "Let's go out!"  He scrambled off his bed and went outside to do his business.  That was the turning point.  Mike and I breathed, even laughed at ourselves.  But this is scary stuff, emotionally like being put through an industrial press and it really challenged us.  We know more than ever that our angst

needs to take a back seat and we can practice calm and peace and normality for Bucky.