#vath deftarm

He’d consulted his newly acquired friends about his predicament - Linu Vali, and unbelievably, master Mogzin of the Moogle builders, who’d proceeded to laugh his kupo nuts off when deftarm suggested his master to be the cause of his continuously racing heart. 

 “Maybe, maybe you like her?”

Ridiculous! Why it has got to be the most preposterous thing Mogzin has ever said to him - a tall feat with all of the moogle’s tendencies for absurd pranks and jokes considering. 

The deftarm had vehemently denied the possibility, despite his furry companion’s insistence otherwise. 

His once master.. now someone he’d proudly declared to be his friend, was someone he greatly respected - the first of any mortal he’d grown to admire and trust. Nothing more, nothing less. 

The thought of his courting instincts being riled by one of another race than himself - let alone a lalafellin that he’d considered to be his mentor above all else had left the deftarm so flustered that he could scarce concentrate on anything else. 

And before he knew it, she was gone, left on yet another one of her grand adventures that he could only ever dream of participating it. He was one of a deft arm, but not daft in the head to think he’d ever stand a chance of standing by her side, for the Warrior of Light’s reputation precedes what even his many new friends would boast. It was hard to imagine a singular figure more renowned in name in the entirety of Dravania, and Coerthas for the matter, and even the deftarm struggled to the day to understand the true scale of her fame. He was but an adventurer with little renown serving his own people - while she will continue to rise like a shining star, whose name would be uttered again again by the people like she was their only salvation. 

She’d certainly been his.

Melancholy accompanied the pride and loneliness that lingered in the Warrior of Light’s wake, and while he dared not hope for her to ever return, busy as she must certainly be..he’d be lying if he said that fleeting, worthless hope hadn’t crossed his mind at least once. 

“How fare you as of late?”

And what perfect timing for the accursed mortal herself to appear before him, basket of nanka eggs slung over her arm and an oblivious smile plastered on her face. Deftarm furiously clucks his mandibles and taps his claws, and the other nonminds around turn to glance and chuckle in his direction.. he isn’t sure if he’s glad or not for Illya to be largely uneducated about Vath body language. 

“G-good! We’re been keeping in touch with the other tribes more, and practicing our dance with as passionate a fervor as when you’d last visited!” 

“That’s wonderful to hear!” The deftarm is acutely aware of every little detail of her expression - the slight curl of her lips upwards to form into a smile, the tiny folds of her skin around her eyes and the plumpness of her round and full cheeks that cradled a small, button nose. 

A hard carapace was a universal sign of attractiveness to Vath and Gnath alike, a trait Illya sorely lacked in. And yet he could not help but to still think, against his better judgement, that the softness of her entire stature and being was adorable. She’s closer to a moogle than she was Vath in that regard, the pure white of her hair does no favors, but she is most definitely way cuter and less infuriating to bear the company of. 

“W-w-what.. <click> <click> Um.. brings you here, m-mas- Illya.”

He utterly rattles in his scales as he speaks her name, and it felt as taboo as it did exciting. 

“Hm? A-ah.. To visit you, deftarm.. I’ve been busy lately b-but.. I wanted to drop by from time to time and help out like old times... I-if you don’t mind, at least.” Her voice was one of the softest parts about her, like a melodic wind chime that danced slowly in the wind. And what she lacked in the clicking of mandibles, she more than made up for with stumbles of her tongue, and the darting of her eyes as color rose up her cheeks. He’d been made aware that that was the sign of a flustered mortal, and it did nothing but worsen his own rattling and tapping.

“Of course I don’t mind! You are ever welcome in Loth ast Vath!” 

He manages to stop himself before he could add anymore unneeded sentimentality into his words, and watches with intent as the lalafellin gently nodded his head and placed her little basket of offerings upon the counter, where Vath Keeneye accepts warmly after clucking twice in a tease towards deftarm’s obviously enamored state.

And yet his idol, innocent and oblivious as she is, saw nothing amiss as the deftarm held his claws together, his head twitching and restless as he’d attempt to conjure words to say to her.

“May I ask you something, I-Illya?”

“A-ah, y-yes! Of course, you can!”

He taps his feet against the ground twice, and places the flat of his claws against the top of his carapace.

“W-what do you think of me?”

The suddenness of his question leaves Illya speechless for a moment, and her voice sputters out uselessly before she slowly thinks to regain her composure. Not even the most well read of her own kind would understand her flustered jibberish. 

“W-well.. um.. you’re very brave! And kind.. and you’ve worked very very hard to help your village. Y-you’re very wonderful...” Affection laces her voice as she speaks, and though it wasn’t quite the answer Deftarm had been looking for, he’s utterly smitten by the sweetness of the words that leave her lips. “A-and..what do you think of me, Deftarm?”

What does he think of her? There were so many and more words he could think of saying, of words he wanted to say to her for a while. And yet not a single one would come to mind to form a cohesive sentence, or anything he believed would allow her to understand the depths of his heart.

“Y-you... are my hero. You are.. very vibrant! And shiny!”

“S-shiny?” 

“Yes!” he clicks and frantically nods his head. “You are like.. a beacon of light! And I..admire you very much! B-but.. not in the same way as... other people..”

High praises never get any less easy for her to digest without going utterly red in the face, no matter how many times and from how many people she hears it from, but the manner of his voice trailing off catches her attention and piques her interest.

“N-not in the same way? W-why is t-that?” 

“W-well! It’s like... um.. Sometimes.. I wish we were of onemind, you see?”

Had Illya been more aware, she’d have noticed the barely audible gasps from the other eavesdropping Vath, and the way Deftarm basically crumbles under the blatant confession he’d just made. 

But curse all her twelve for having her be born a natural nonmind, for being a lalafell, who could only assume his words to be borne out of a relapse of his own will.

“T-that’s not good! Are you hearing voices again?” She turns from frantic and nervous to heroic in an instant, and stomps her foot forward with a furrow of her brow. “Don’t listen to them, Deftarm! You are your own person!”

“No no! That’s.. not what I meant!” 

Illya’s already girded up, with a heavy scowl on her face and hands balled into fists ready to pound and fight at the injustice of the hive mind his kind have had to overcome and suffer through. And it would seem his best reassurances would only serve to worsen their misunderstanding.

“N-no, just.. forget I said anything, Illya!”

“Are you sure? If you start hearing voices again-”

“I assure you, I won’t.” Deftarm clucks in defeat, and his shoulders visibly slump. It does little to wipe the expression of worry off the girl’s face. 

How much easier would if be for him to get his heart across to her if they were of onemind? If they were able to share their thoughts, to hear the beating of each other’s hearts.. surely she’d understand thoroughly without him even having to utter a single word. 

But that was a fruitless dream, one of physical impossibility. He could only dream of them being of one heart. 

“W-well.. Just know... you’ll always be Vath Deftarm. You’re important to me, a-and I..I would never want to see you have your thoughts and feelings stripped away again.” Her face glows as she flashes him a radiant smile, and he finds himself blinded by the beautiful twinkle in her eyes. “Your mind and your heart are of your own. Nothing can change that.”

It’d certainly be nice to be of one mind with her, would that he could understand the depths of her sincerity and kindness, and learn for himself just what she truly thought of him if she too understood his feelings.