#vardaman

“I wouldn’t lay down on that mattress too hard, Stone.”

“And why not?” Stone huffed, he really didn’t want to be here and he especially didn’t want Max telling him it wasn’t ok to relax, “It’s not like there’s a dead body underneath it right?”

“No, no dead people.” He looked up at Stone, who was scowling, “They’ve fucked on this. I can smell it.”

“God bless, Max. Every single bed we try’n sleep on ya sniff it ‘n go ‘can’t ‘s been fucked on’. Sorry to tell ya this, but hotel beds see plenty more action than this one probably does.”

“True,” Vardaman shut the drawer and stood up, his feathers being slightly ruffled by the ceiling and making him look surprised, “but I’ve done some research on these two.”

“Oh yeah? Gimme the dirt.” Stone laid on his stomach and kicked up his heels, like a 50s teenager on the phone.

“Y’know that sharky one?”

“Mhmm?”

“Well he’s a porn star.” Vardaman leaned against the wall and crossed his arms.

Stone slammed his hands on the bed in surprise “Get. Out. Really?”

“Yep. Not like a famous one but pretty damn good in the amateur circle. I hear he gets paid for it.”

“Woah.” Max blinked, “I wouldn’ta expected that outta such a, uh, god I wanna say prissy but that doesn’t seem right.”

“No he’s a bit prissy.” Stone nodded.

“Ok, well then I wouldn’ta expected that outta such a prissy boy. Tellin’ us not to cuss ‘n such.”

Vardaman nodded, “Ya think that’s why he was so excited t’ get us out here?”

“Oh what, ya think after 25 years ‘Eddy’ got us t’ come over t’ film a porno? And that we should bring Rumble too?” Stone waved it off, “Unless he’s changed a lot I don’t think he’d be that big of a creep.”

“Naw I don’t think Ed’s parta it. I think it’s all this Chomper fella.”

“Makes sense, especially from what Rumble said before ‘bout how upset he got when he found out.” Max shrugged, “Could be revenge porn.”

“I thought revenge porn was when ya posted nudes or whatever on the interwebs?” Stone squinted, “Or at least that’s what the news was sayin’.”

“I think it’s possible that ya can film yerself cheatin’ and post it. That seems pretty vengeful to me.” Vardaman looked away for a moment, “What do we do if he asks?”

“I say we make the move first.” Stone leaned his head against his fist, “That way if he says no then we know fer sure, and if he says yes then, hey, we get a good fuck.”

“I dunno if we should let that sorta thing happen.” Max grumbled, “And I definitely don’t think we should start it.”

“I agree.” Vardaman turned his gaze back to them, “I think that, unless Ed knows about it, we shouldn’t do it. Take the high road.”

“Screw the high road. Ed didn’t give us the high road, all he did was leave us high ‘n dry,” Stone spat, “I’ll see what sharky wants.”

“And be labelled a creep? In front of our daughter too? Hold yer horses, Stone. I know yer made but ya need to cool it. Take a nap or a shower or somethin’.” Max warned.

“Fine, I’ll take a shower. I wanted to anyways.” Stone got up and straightened his shirt, “Don’t have any fun without me.”

“Promise.” Vardaman said, stepping to the side to let Stone out.

Max waited until stone was out until he spoke next, “Ya gonna check to make sure he ain’t doin’ anything stupid?”

“Way ahead a’ ya.” Vardaman turned and walked out the door.