i used to feel the same when i was younger, like none of the messages about unhealthy beauty standards ever made sense to me because like, i KNEW that, but i still felt like shit at seeing myself in the mirror, so like, it didn't change anything. but i did get over it eventually, which i never thought i would. i do a lot of life-drawing where i draw all kinds of people, and it changed the way i reacted to seeing myself. bodies (including my own) appeared less "pretty" and more "real" in the 1/2
+ the "everyone is extremely human" kind of way. it's genuinely one of my favorite things these days, how comfortable i am in myself & others. still have bad days sometimes, but i'm definitely so much better. it's a lot of like, becoming familiar with the way bodies work rather than look. it's more rewarding to find beauty in movement, in emotions, and wrinkles. one of my favorite things is how old people have crows feet around their eyes, from squinting at the sun, or smiling a lot.
god words can licherally not describe how much i luv this mind set and entire concept.....i adore the idea that becoming more familiar with the patterns of the human body actually made you more comfortable in your own skin. that seeing both yourself reflected in others and the differences between you made you realise we're all just existing. i used to think my body was nothing more than a meat sack that carries me around and i still do to some extent, or at least i think it shouldn't be the focal point of 'me', but it's also really cool that our bodies ARE an undeniable part of us and they tell the story of our lives (not to quote one direction) in a tangible way 😳 and that in and of itself is way more interesting than conventional beauty, you know? it's like if a lover of yours has a scar, you dont think it's ugly, you ask them what happened and if they're comfortable, you get to hear a little bit more about who they used to be and who they are today omg.......the implications of it all. anyway i'm so glad you actually are at a point where you got over the whole insecurity thing at least generally. i feel eternally stuck at knowing so called ugliness doesn't matter but feeling defined by it. it's totally normal to have bad days too, as long as you remember it's just like you said bodies are 'real', they dont really care about fitting a ridiculous mold when they're too busy keeping you alive and fulfilling a purpose. also art being used as a lens to see the world in a healthier way UGH im obsessed 💕💕
thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and giving me some peace of mind!! i hope you're doing ok n taking care n everything. all my love x