#vandalah

Well, boo me down! When I was plundering the li-bury, I found a map of some sort. I don't know what it is exactly, it's not really a treasure map, but it looks kind of mysterious and cryptic! I found it stuck in a cookbook, in between the pages of the chapter for 'Social Creeperings'. At first glance, the map looks like some kind of recipe and even has the heading 'How to make Friends'. What does that mean? It took a true adventurer like me to read between the lines and figure out its instructions for something crabulous. There are a lot of x's, of course. That's how you know it's important. And there are stick figures in the top left and bottom right, divided by 2 squiggly lines. Also, there are boats between the squiggly lines. Avast! It's a kindermonster's artwork! I think I'll hang it on the fridge in me galley.

It's a spooktacular morn, so I think I'll take me pet cuttlefish for a leisurely sail on the Salty Spectre before school. He woke up on the scareboard side of the ship, and he is totes cranky. It's like he's got his tentacles tied in a twist. Every time I call his name, "Aye!" he responds with "Nay!" just to vex me. He's usually less fearsome than this, but there is a reason he's a cuttlefish and not a cuddlefish.

Read my diary and you'll find yourself stuffed in Die-vy Bones' gym locker.