#vampireloverd

Lavi is like the wind, coming and going, flowing and changing.  You’re like the earth, solid and unmoving, never shifting unless put under large amounts of pressure.  That’s how you’ve always been.

You both grew up in the same city.  It probably would have been amazing to know Lavi when you were younger, but you met in high school instead.  Statistically, you shouldn’t have met him, considering you were a few years behind him in grade level.  Somehow you did though, you met Lavi Bookman and never left his side.  He was your best friend.

He is your best friend.

But he wanted to travel the world.  He wanted to see the ruins of past civilizations, he wanted to study across the globe, he wanted to live in the mountains for a year and take in the culture, he wanted to help people.

You didn’t want to leave the city.  You wanted to open a small shop by the sea and live a quiet life.  You wanted to be kissed good morning and good night, never worry about money, adopt a dog, and enjoy the sunrises more than the sunsets.  

When Lavi graduated, he spent the summer with you, smiling and holding your hands as you walked down the pier, buying you ice cream and watching the sunset sitting on the sand.  You wished the summer would never end.  

But it did, like all things.  It ended the night before school started again, and he whispered ‘I love you’ against your lips.  You didn’t let him see you cry.

That year Lavi traveled across Europe and Asia, sending you postcards covered with exciting messages and stories about how beautiful and amazing the world is and how ‘oh my god, Allen, you need to try this food, it’s orgasmatastic’.  

He came back and visited you over Christmas break, for your birthday, and brought you so many small trinkets, you didn’t know what to do with them.  But the only thing you wanted was him, just him.  

The pattern continued as you finished school, Lavi coming back for Summer and holidays, you celebrated each other’s birthdays holding each other close.  He called you some nights and helped you study or told you stories he learned.  It was nice.  But you couldn’t help but notice the far away look he got when he was with you, the excitement when he told you everything he’d seen, everything he still wanted to do.  You knew the only reason he kept coming back was for you.  

He wouldn’t let go of you.

The summer after you graduate he came back with a huge smile and healing cut across his cheek from getting ‘attacked’ by a tree branch.  You almost cried when you saw him and held back your tears when he told you about all the people he met and things he’d seen.  There was a light in his eyes you only saw when he talked about far away places.  

For his birthday took him to his favorite restaurant on the pier and walk on the beach.  He was humming a song you didn’t know and staring out onto the large blue expanse of the ocean.  And in that sunset you really saw him for the first time.  Worldly, craving adventure, loving to learn and live everywhere.  It broke your heart that you couldn’t see yourself next to him.  

“You don’t have to stay.”  You whispered the words into the darkness, after the sunset, and the stars just began to sprinkle the sky.

“What?”  You couldn’t see his face when he answered and you think that was for the better.  

“You don’t have to stay with me.”  The waves crashed against the shore, the sound beating you down.  “You love it out there.”

“I love it here with you.”

“But it’s not the same.”  Your tears hit the sand silently, if you sobbed you’ll never know because the ocean saved you.  “You have this look when you talk about the world, you have all these dreams and goals, and I’m the one who’s keeping you from them.”  

“That’s not–”

“Yeah, it is.  You would be there right now if it wasn’t for me.  You could spend summers across the world, you could meet more people, you could live the way you want to.  I’m the reason you keep coming back.  I’m holding you back.”  

Gentle fingers caressed your cheeks, wiping away the tears, familiar lips touched yours in a soft, loving kiss that felt like it could break you.  

“You’re worth it.  I love you.  I like coming back home if you’re here.”  

“But you’re not happy here.  I want you to be happy.”