“You’re a good boy, aren’t you, vampire?”

His cheeks burn in embarrassment, but he doesn’t think he can do anything about it. You’ve got him in the palm of your hand. He’s met you less than two hours ago, one of very few sober people in the night club, and he’s not the one to bend easily. Yet, he’s all putty when your hands fiddle with the belt of his pants, and for once he hopes you don’t ask for permission and just take from him what you need. But you don’t, you only tease and tempt him.

“Open your mouth, pretty” you smile and he listens before a single thought is there. “Eyes on me.” You push your forearm between his teeth, impaling your flesh on his fangs even before he can react, and all he can do is let out a whimper, his eyes hazed with yearning but following yours obediently.

You sway a little from blood loss and he wraps his arms around your waist, keeping you upright securely. Yet, you find the strength to grind against him again and his fangs slip out of your arm in a strained whimper as his back arches and he falls back, exposing his own throat to you, sweaty from heat and with veins bulging. You don’t waste a second, diving right in and nibbling on his skin as if it’s him that’s yours to devour. It’s harmless, your human teeth can’t do much, but it pulls him under, making everything feel hazy.

He’s not a messy eater, but he can’t help it, your blood is running down his chin. And he just briefly thinks it’s so sweet, too sweet…

Is something wrong? This doesn’t quite feel right. He tries to push himself off the backrest but he’s dizzy.

“What’s…”

“Relax.” Your voice is soothing and calm. It works too well to put him at ease.

Your hands cup his face and when the sleeve of your untouched arm falls down, he catches a glimpse of a bracelet with a sigil-shaped pendant. He knows the sigil. His eyes widen. Your own almost shine in the dim lights of the night club.

“Be a good boy for me some more, okay?”

It’s too late to fight it, he realizes. He wasn’t careful enough and now he’s paying the price.

“You’ll make a perfect companion for me, vampire.”

And as his consciousness dissolves, all he can think of is that maybe it won’t be that bad, being bound to someone like you. Maybe he really had it coming.

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The man almost snorted in response, but kept his voice down last moment.

“No one is asleep right now” he deadpanned. “That’s why they sent me to ask.”

Minghao was about to utter a response when he froze with his lips ajar. He stared into space motionlessly for a few long moments and Soonyoung froze as well, not wanting to accidentally disperse the focus apparent on the other’s face.

“She woke up” Minghao finally stated. “But she’s not moving.”

Soonyoung only frowned.

What kind of torment awaited you this time?

You were dissociated; the softness of mattress and duvets felt fake, like a trick. Something bad would happen if you let yourself enjoy it. You knew it subconsciously, and so it didn’t feel nice. It felt uneasy.

You remained still, laying on your side from the moment you woke up. The pain had long dulled out. There was no metal, no cuffs nor rope binding your wrists, but you instinctively kept them together – what if he just forgot, what if he will get upset if he sees you moving your limbs freely?

So you didn’t move.

The moment he looked at her silhouette, it was as if all emotions have suddenly ceased to exist. All the anxiety, fear, uncertainty – it all got drowned out by just one that was left: the need to not fuck this up.

His chest moved up and down with breaths that he did not need to take, but did out of habit, to seem a bit more normal, a bit more approachable. She shouldn’t yet know he’s not human – it could forbid her from ever opening up to him. He wouldn’t hide it from her. He would just… not make it obvious.

She laid there. Her breathing was steady, but too weak, too rare – her body wasn’t fighting anymore, it gave up, and she was stuck in the state of apathy, of only surviving. He didn’t know exactly what she went through, but he had enough experience to suspect a lot.

He approached her slowly, making his presence known with steady steps against the wooden panels. He hoped it wouldn’t come off as creepy – for all he knew, anything could trigger adverse reactions, and he didn’t want that.

“My name is Minghao.”

She stirred ever so slightly, her heartbeat picking up – she likely did not expect to hear an unknown voice. But it wasn’t yet curiosity, he thought. It was still fear. He had seen it before. He was another torment that she was expecting, not salvation.

He eventually sat in the armchair at her side, making sure to keep his movements steady and remain at a distance that should feel safe, even though he knew she would not find comfort in his presence anytime soon.

It was bound to take time.

Her gaze was absent.

“The place we are at is my house” he announced calmly. He didn’t seek eye contact – he knew better than to put that pressure on her. But his eyes travelled to her silhouette, wanting to make sure she’s not in pain or discomfort. “What you have been through, is no longer. No one is going to hurt you here. You must be confused, so please, take your time.”

He spoke every word slowly, making sure the tone wouldn’t startle her.

And then, he waited.

He sat there in silence, watching her calmly, waiting for any reaction – positive or not.

But there was none. Her heartbeat and breath did not change after he spoke these words aloud, as if she didn’t understand them, or couldn’t process them.

Or maybe she just didn’t believe them.

Whichever it could be, he waited, acutely aware of Soonyoung’s stressed out presence right outside of the door as he waited for any news to break out.

He was patient. He knew that she needed time to process but also wanted to give her the chance to reach out to him, if she felt confident enough to do so.

But when about a quarter passed with no reaction, he slowly stood up.

“In case you need anything, I will be checking on you. I will also bring you something to eat in the morning. Take your time. This room is all for you, use anything that you need. There is a bathroom behind that door on the left.” With last thought, right before leaving, he added: “But if you would like to leave the room, you are free to do so. Nothing bad will happen to you if you do. No one here will hurt you.”

Soonyoung was biting his nails and almost shot up from his seat the moment the door opened. Minghao walked out with his face calm and unreadable, but Soonyoung knew better than to yell at him to ask for the news. He waited “patiently”­ – if it can be called patience that he was stepping from one foot to the other with his gaze piercing Minghao like a wooden stake (metamorphically, of course).

“It’s too early to know anything” Minghao announced in a hushed voice.

“Did she say anything?”

The man shook his head.

“Let’s let her rest. I will wait here; you go to sleep already.”

Although clearly not pleased with lack of disclosure, Soonyoung decided it would be best to not interfere in the situation any longer. It was complicated enough as it was.

And he knew for himself that Minghao would handle things well on his own.

He saved Soonyoung before, after all, too.

The worst was when a plate of food was placed in front of you with a quiet, “eat”. It didn’t sound like a command – none of it did. But everything could be a trick, a manipulation. Was it poisoned? Was it foul in some other way? Would you be punished if you ate it? Would you be punished if you didn’t?

Yet, listening to the command given was always the best bet. Of all things that happened, listening to orders usually ended up the least… painful. That much you could do.

So you ate.

It hurt. Your stomach hurt. You didn’t remember the last time you had a full meal. Your stomach was full in two bites, yet you knew you couldn’t stop. The flavor… hurt. The texture hurt as well. You struggled to chew – did you already forget how it’s done? You were in a hurry. What if he came in and was disappointed you didn’t do it yet? You didn’t want him to force it down your throat. You didn’t want him to punish you again. Although, at heart, you knew that it would happen anyway. He would never be satisfied. He would always find a reason to make you suffer again.

You couldn’t cry.

Your eyes were too dry to cry, you didn’t have the strength to.

But you didn’t get to half of the meal before you stumbled to your feet, trying to run to the toilet – you couldn’t handle it, no more, your body was refusing to take it in.

Your legs were too weak. You fell to your knees and threw up on the floor.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”

Wrapping your arms around yourself, you curled up into a ball. You failed. He will be so mad.

He heard some noise. And it was very much coming from her room.

Soonyoung weighted his options.

Minghao left the place to run a quick errand – he would be back in ten minutes at longest, however, because he knew that responsibilities awaited him here. But he was not here now, and Soonyoung knew that some noise could mean literally anything. The ten minutes could be too long.

A bit of him was also selfishly curious. He acknowledged that. That’s why he knew he needed to be careful.

He walked through the small hall and then slowly opened the door to her room.

The sight was pathetic. And it broke his heart into a thousand of pieces.

She was trembling, mumbling under her breath. She was panicking and her fingers dug into her shoulders deep enough to leave bruises. And it only got worse when she heard the door creak.

He couldn’t leave her like this now.

“Hey, are you okay?” He knew how to be gentle, how to not scare her as he approached her. But every trauma was different, he could only rely on what he remembered himself.

He gently put his hand on her shoulder, and she flinched, breaking into another fit of tremors. He didn’t budge, but also didn’t go further. She needed to get used to his touch first.

And she wouldn’t if she didn’t know he won’t hurt her.

“I am a human, too” he spoke softly.

And it was like a magic spell. It didn’t break through – it slowly melted off the walls of ice that she built around herself. The warmth of his hand against her skin finally got acknowledged. A fellow living being – one she must have not seen in such a long while. One that had no power to hurt her, and therefore maybe, just maybe, wouldn’t want to.

“A-are you?”

Her voice was small, like a whimper of a scared kitten. But she looked up at him with her eyes red and swollen from tear-less crying, and Soonyoung returned that gaze.

“W-why…?”

He was not certain what the why was exactly referring to. Her hand reached up and gently brushed his own, as if to confirm he’s real and that his warmth is real, too.

And then she broke into another fit of crying, but this time, there was some unspoken relief in her sobs, and the tremors became rarer and rarer, until she fell asleep in this position, with Soonyoung’s hand still on her shoulder, letting her know that she, truly, is safe now.

Soonyoung suspected that Minghao would be upset that he interfered in the process. But no, quite the opposite – he was curious instead, wanting Soonyoung to tell him the story in all details, putting all pieces together with what happened before to understand the situation.

“Do you think she knew I’m not human? Or do you think she didn’t know you are until you told her?” he finally asked. But Soonyoung couldn’t answer that question.

Lying to her and telling her Minghao was a human was out of question. But if she could open just a little to the fellow species, maybe that could be a starting point.

“I want to try to help her” Soonyoung finally spoke out, a bit uncertain. It wasn’t his place to force things – it was Minghao’s house, Minghao’s mission, and Minghao’s responsibility. But, because he was allowed to stay there with no obligation to ever return the favor, he felt like his presence was starting to become obsolete.

“You don’t have to. It’s not your weight to carry.” Minghao’s voice was gentle, but the point was clear – he didn’t want Soonyoung to have to re-live his own trauma through the girl’s fresh one.

“I know. But I don’t want to get stuck like this. Doing nothing.”

The vampire nodded slowly. He only hoped this was the right choice to make.

It seemed to work.

She didn’t flinch when he entered the room and glanced towards the entry curiously instead, and that alone was a huge win in their situation.

“I got it!” Soonyoung beamed, showing the item in his hand.

A hairbrush.

It’s been a few days already. Small steps at first – she feared even as much as taking a shower at the beginning, and once she did, it was with just a sponge for the first time or two. But Soonyoung’s presence appeared to help her move forward, and eventually, they managed to convince her to change into new clothes and eat her meals somewhat at ease.

But the long time she spent in isolation took a huge tool on her body and appearance. She was thin and pale, her skin was dry, her fingers and nails were bloody from biting on them out of stress. And her hair was matted, probably not remembering the last time it was brushed out. And that little thing was something Soonyoung wanted to help with before anything else – because it was small and once done, it would make one hell of a difference, hopefully in how she felt as well. It was like trying to recover her sense of humanity, and he was determined to make it happen.

She sat calmly on the mattress and he placed himself behind her back. She had a blanked wrapped tightly around her, up to her neck. He paid it no mind at first.

“I’ll try to be careful, but please let me know if it hurts” he spoke gently and she nodded in response.

He picked her hair gently. He was more nervous than he would let on, knowing fully well that one wrong move could set them far behind. But she seemed okay as he held the ends of her hair in one hand, using the other to slowly start detangling it from the very bottom.

But then his fingers grazed her back, and he felt her tense up. He stopped.

“You good?”

She quickly nodded, but he felt the underlying uneasiness, and knew very well what it meant.

“Are you sure?”

To that, she hesitated. Soonyoung didn’t need more to know that she is not good. He placed the hair brush down on the mattress.

“What’s the matter? Do you want to tell me?” he inquired gently, shifting on the bed so he would be facing her instead. Her gaze was down, uncertain, as she reached with her hand to try and move the hair around to cover her neck. “Would you like to show me?” he added quietly, allowing her to ignore the question if she wanted. She bit on her lip.

“It… It’s not very pretty.”

There was something she was not saying – some sort of insecurity, as if she was worried about his reaction. He knew how she felt. Or at least he had a good guess. Tainted. No longer desirable, no longer pure in a way that could make her ever forget of the past.

“I’ll show you mine.”

He didn’t think twice, reaching to the hem of his blouse and pulling it over his head in one go. His hair got stuck in it for a second or two, so he missed her initial reaction – but once finally free, with his hair disheveled, he met her eyes, staring at the upper part of his chest with her lips slightly parted.

His shoulders were littered with scars. Most of them were from bites – deeper and more intrusive than vampire bites needed to be, a memory of how he was used for more than just feeding. But there were some that weren’t as simple to explain, although they didn’t draw that much attention – from random slices here and there, deep scratches that have been re-opened so many times they refused to heal fully… and when he took a deep breath and finally turned around to show his back, the girl’s breath hitched. He almost wondered if it’s not too much, if it won’t scare her again.

Because at the top of his back, there was a sigil burned into his skin, partially a reminder of a spell that bound him into obedience, and partially… a form of branding, the symbol of who he belonged to.

But that was the past, and that thing was no more. It served as a reminder, but it had no power over him anymore.

He turned around again to check on her – her eyes were wide with so much sadness and sympathy that for a short moment, he forgot that she was the one that needed to be taken care of now.

“I-it’s not… Minghao’s, right? It’s not…”

“No, no, no way.” Deciding it’s been enough of a showcase, he hastily pulled the shirt back on. “He got me out of there. Not just me, a few others as well. That’s what he does. That’s why you’re here.”

She slowly nodded.

“So he is… the good guy.”

Soonyoung chuckled.

“Yeah, he’s really great.”

“But he’s still a vampire. He has to… you know.” She vaguely gesticulated around her lips. “Does he…?”

“If you’re as nice as Minghao, people come to you willingly.” Although it seemed obvious in his mind, Soonyoung quickly realized that it was not really, and especially the quizzed look on the girl’s face demanded further explanation. “It’s a society, you know. He can do what he does because there are people willing to make the world better. Like a charity. And, you know, in a society, there’s also market. If you have something you need, there will be someone willing to provide. Normally you have to pay, but Minghao is known for what he does, so there are also people willing to support him on that.” He hoped that his explanation made sense, because he had no idea how to make it better without diving headfirst into all the fascinating details that were unfamiliar to him before, too.

But he also thought that making her think of it more than necessary would only make her spiral again. It was all fresh in her mind.

“The point is, Minghao wouldn’t hurt a fly.”

That much she must have understood, because she nodded slowly.

When she showed him her own scars later, it no longer felt terrifying, and he thanked her for trusting him enough to do it.  

You felt the man’s presence, but you were finally at ease with it.

It turned out that the place they lived in was a literal mansion, with so many rooms and studies that once you felt confident enough to go out, you could spend hours checking out every single space and letting your gaze linger on plants, paintings and ornaments all around. But people would steal glances at you, and you couldn’t tell who they were, and they would disappear from your sight before you could ask them, and so you felt alienated in a way.

You didn’t feel like an intruder, but more like a guest they’re not yet sure how to approach, and whenever you touched something pretty you found, you felt as if someone already claimed it as theirs, making you feel like you shouldn’t linger around it for too long. There was pain echoing through these walls, pain of the people who came here before you, pain that has not yet fully healed.

It was when you entered the library that you finally felt at ease.

The giant skeleton of some sort of bird hung from the ceiling right above the entry, likely scaring off anyone who would normally seek peace in this space. The air was filled with the smell of old paper and still dust, somewhat pleasant to your senses. The curtains were only pulled over to a degree, shielding the bookshelves from the direct sunlight.

To your surprise, it was in the small streak of sun in the corner that Minghao was sitting by a desk with a few books gathered around, writing down some notes as he went through them, flipping the pages in a careful and elegant manner.

At the sound of you entering he lifted his gaze, regarding you with a curious, but calm look on his face.

But when you decided not to speak and went towards the bookshelves instead, he didn’t seem bothered, and decided not to bother you as well, going back to his previous activity.

You weren’t sure what you were looking for, and neither were you sure what you could find in there. You wondered who collected the books – was it Minghao himself, was it someone who lived there before him, or were these completely random finds and gifts that piled up over the past decades?

They appeared to be categorized in some way you couldn’t pinpoint. As you walked through them, you saw different topics – anything from novels, through religious books and grimoires, to books about astronomy, botany or even history.

Eventually, you picked one with a pretty cover – not a proud choice, really, but your brain refused to comprehend the choices that you had. Not with how long it had been since the last time you were allowed to make any choice to begin with.

You sat down on the green carpet and crossed your legs, leaning your back against the side of a bookshelf.

You read the words carefully, savoring every single one and slowly letting your eyes get used to the details. It hurt. And took way more time than it should. You thought there was no way for a person with basic education to ever forget how to read. But as you went on, it felt like a foreign language, words struggling to come together in your head. You took way too much time to make sense out of a sentence, not to mention sorting out the plot.

Frustrating.

You felt as though the time spent in capture set you back by years as a human being. You were a child again, trying to make sense of the world that surrounded you. Your thinking process was so easy all this time. All you needed to do was to obey commands. Your only worry was to not make anyone mad with your behavior. And to endure whatever they would put you through.

You caught yourself trembling when the memories took over what you were reading about, and you found yourself frozen in time, replaying over and over again what you thought was starting to get buried away from your new routine.

You ran hand through your hair, trying to stop your tears from spilling. You felt so… useless. Incapable. You would never get this time back. You would never be your previous self even. You were bound to be impaired, less than, traumatized, for the rest of your pitiful life. To always depend on someone else to provide you with a sense of safety, because you would not be able to sort it out yourself, because you would fall if there was no one to hold you up.

Something shook you out of your daze, and it was the sound of Minghao’s chair jarring against the floor as he got up from his seat, holding a book that he must have just finished reading.

It distracted you to watch him walk past you and put the book back on the shelf. Off another one, he took a new thing – a small book with a dreamy looking cover in deep, metallic shades that reminded you of some more colorful types of dragonflies and beetles.

Minghao came over and placed the book on the floor in front of you.

“Try this one” he suggested calmly, sparing you a small smile. “Take your time.”

Does he know? You wondered.

He does.

It got to you slowly, gradually. How many times he must have seen people like you, trying to get back to normal and failing at understanding that everything would be alright.

Your suffering was unique. But your experiences were not. If Minghao knew that it could be done, you could only trust him to lead the way.

One night, you woke up with a hand covering your mouth.

It filled you with fear with how suddenly it came, and your heart skipped the beat. You instantly forced yourself to calm down seeing Soonyoung’s face above yours, but it didn’t erase the feeling of uneasiness. Something was wrong.

His expression was tense as he put his finger over his lips to signal you to stay quiet.

“Come with me” he whispered.

You got out of the duvets with your legs wobbly. You were feeling so, so drowsy, but Soonyoung held your wrist firmly as he pulled you towards the entry. Through the other room that separated it from the main corridor, he carefully pushed the door open, glancing outside and looking in both directions. Then he urged you to follow him.

“What’s going on?” you tried to ask, but he hushed you quickly. He looked focused as he led you through the halls of the mansion in a direction only he knew the whereabouts of.

You stumbled over your feet, walking down the stairs. In the darkness that surrounded you, every sound seemed amplified, and you didn’t believe you were as quiet as you were trying to be. Or maybe it was just your nervous breath that drowned out everything else.

That was when you heard voices coming from the main hall. One of them belonged to Minghao.

The other made the blood freeze in your veins.

You didn’t understand the words being spoken. Soonyoung’s hand gripped your wrist tighter, pulling you forward. He must have noticed the way you faltered, but didn’t say a word. Was he looking at you, trying to make sure you’re alright? You had no idea, because in your head, the voice was ripping at the strings of your sanity, tearing through what you had been working on in the past weeks.

The two of you reached the back entrance of the mansion and Soonyoung started fiddling with the locks. Your breathing was heavy.

The sound of steps that suddenly echoed behind the two of you was way too close for your comfort. You turned around hastily.

There he stood. Your nightmare, your personal hell. Your end. There was no point running. What could you do, really? You were just a human. You always had been.

And so was Soonyoung, although he quickly pushed you behind himself, shielding you from the silhouette ahead. He, too, realized that running now would be futile, but he did the only thing that he could – standing between you and the man that just appeared.

You had seen him in your nightmares. His presence never left your mind, even when he was nowhere in  your sight. You sometimes wondered what he was doing, imagining him go about his daily life as you lulled yourself to sleep. You tried to learn to hate him. But, in your head, you were still tied to him, still dependent on his will, still below him, still relying on him to control you, to destroy you, but to also give your life a purpose. He did, after all, make you believe that the use he had of you was the sole purpose of your existence. What else would humans be good for, anyway?

As he took slow steps in your direction, you felt everything flash before your eyes, and your legs trembled. Would you be punished for all the time spent away? What would the next predicament be? Would he tear your legs off, or bleed you until you can’t move a muscle?

“You will not disrespect me in my own home.”

Minghao’s voice, as melodic and calm as it could be,resonated through the hall.

You finally spotted him on the other side of the corridor, where the man supposedly came from before reaching the hall. You sensed Soonyoung relax visibly. But you couldn’t bring yourself to be at ease just yet.

“I’ll just take my stuff and leave” the vampire spoke nonchalantly, sending you a glance. You felt nauseous. You couldn’t breathe.

“There is nothing of yours here. You will just leave. Now.”

A threat, subtly preserved behind Minghao’s words, lingered in the air, but you barely heard it. All your focus was on the vampire right in front of you. Although he didn’t move in the past minute or so, it was like his presence was creeping around you, surrounding you. Soonyoung wouldn’t protect you from him. No one would. You felt yourself spiral into the hopelessness.

The vampire’s face was ridden off emotions as he took a single step in your direction. One. Only one, before Minghao changed positions, in a blink of an eye placing himself right in front of the man, so close that not even a step could be taken in Soonyoung’s direction. In yours, too. You couldn’t see his face now, but the body language told you enough. Minghao was angry.

The two of them exchanged gazes for what felt like eternity. No words were spoken for so long that you thought you’re losing your sanity.

And then, suddenly, so fast that your eyes didn’t even catch it properly, something happened. The sound was short-lived, but it made your stomach turn. You could swear your heart stopped for a second.

“Get out of here and never come back.”

Without saying anything more, Minghao turned his back from the man, making it clear that the discussion was over. You noticed something drip from his hand. Behind him, the other vampire was holding some sort of blade – maybe a dagger. How quickly it happened was impossible for your human senses to catch. But the conclusion was easy – Minghao got hurt just now. Your heart ached with worry at realization.

But when the other turned around, you started to calm down. Was it over? Would he not take you? You were still tense, still not sure if you should believe that this would end just like that. But you forced yourself to look at Minghao instead. His eyebrows were still furrowed as he walked in your direction, slowly shifting into an expression of worry and tenderness as he took in your state.

It was only when you allowed yourself one last glance towards the man leaving, did you catch that quick, short movement, one that you would have missed if you weren’t looking directly at it, yet one that seemed to run in a slow motion.

A quick turn followed by a movement of his hand in the air.

You knew what was happening. Instinctively, because your eyes wouldn’t catch it.

Your eyes wouldn’t catch the dagger flying across the air, above Minghao’s shoulder, right towards your face where Soonyoung’s body would not be able to shield you, where you allowed to expose yourself and would pay a price for it.

Would have, if Minghao wasn’t even quicker than the blade, if in just as quick blink of an eye he didn’t catch the glimpse of silver, grasping the blade mid-air with his bare fingers a few inches before it could reach you.

When, moments later, he turned around, the three of you were in the hall alone.

Minghao’s bedroom was smaller and more modest than you expected it to be in the mansion that he was deemed to be the owner of. It was elegant, but plainer than your own, without anything that would indicate it was lived in and not just a guest room. You suspected he spent more time in other places, such as the library. But the bedroom was exactly what was needed right now as the man sat on the soft mattress, allowing you to gently wrap the cuts on his hand.

When everything started to calm down and the adrenaline of the moment started to wear off, you felt… surprisingly normal. More at ease than you believed you would. Minghao reassured you that you didn’t need to worry about anything and if you wanted, Soonyoung could keep you company for the rest of the night so that you were not afraid of staying all alone. But you were too tired to relive all of this again, and you offered your help instead. Minghao didn’t refuse, seeing it as a good sign of your wellbeing, as you suspected.

His right hand was cut in a few places. There were two lines of where he caught the dagger mid-flight. But up his wrist, there was a longer one, probably from the previous, quick sparring that you didn’t see that well.

Your eyebrows were scrunched as you tried to gently maneuver the band aid around the fresh wounds.

“Shouldn’t they heal already?” you wondered out loud. “They don’t look very deep.”

Minghao observed your movements.

“The dagger is made of silver” he replied casually, nodding towards the item lying on the nearest bedside counter. “Silver wounds heal slower, like normal wounds would on a human.”

Your heart filled with pity, but then you froze, struck with realization.

“If he came here for me,” your voice trembled, “why would he bring a silver dagger? He doesn’t need one for me.”

The man shook his head.

“I don’t know, but I don’t think he came here just for you. I think he’s not very… supportive of our initiatives. But don’t think about it too much.”

Although he tried to make it sound casual, you could sense what he truly meant. You remembered what Soonyoung told you about before. If this, truly, worked as a society, then it wouldn’t be that unexpected for Minghao to make enemies along the way.

You felt anger build up inside of you as you continued to wrap Minghao’s hand. His eyes watched you with intent, trying to read through emotions that you were showing. You suspected it not to be very difficult.

Your motions became haste, and you vaguely sensed Minghao flinch when you unwittingly rubbed the fabric across the bigger cut on his wrist. You instantly panicked at the thought of bringing him harm, and the withheld tears of hopelessness unexpectedly started running down your cheeks.

Minghao’s fingers were quick to wrap around yours, uncaring of the wounds. He held your hand still, searching for your gaze.

“It’s okay” he spoke calmly. “You’re okay.”

“B-but I hate that you have to worry about things like this” you let out through sniffles. “You do good things and some people just want to hurt you.” You didn’t care how infantile your words sounded, it was hard enough to collect your thoughts into a sentence.

“Yeah, and some always will.”

It was like a kick in your stomach, the realization of how tough it must have been on him. From what you knew, he had been in it for years over years, tearing through all the hardships for the purpose that he chose for himself, saving hopeless people like you or Soonyoung. You felt like a rescue animal, an abused lamb ripped out of its shed before it could be used up to its limit and discarded. No one would care about it if it died. But Minghao cared for you and didn’t let that happen. You could have been just one of many that he saved, but for you, he was the whole world now.

Partially, it might have been because who else could lead you, now that you lost your only purpose? Now that no one would make the choices for you anymore, force you into obedience and rid you off taking responsibility for yourself.

Maybe you were moving from one attachment to another, you realized. Maybe that’s what kept Soonyoung by Minghao’s side for years after his own trauma had healed. Or maybe it didn’t, maybe it was kept at bay because Minghao was there to stand between Soonyoung and his past.

You didn’t want to be only a weight on his shoulders, though.

“Will you let me help you?” you whispered.

Minghao looked at you with unreadable expression.

“You don’t owe me anything. But you can stay here for as long as you need. As long as you feel you need. I’ll never kick you out.”

“Yeah, but…” You pressed your lips together. “I want to help you like Soonyoung does. I don’t know what he does exactly, but I can tell you trust him. I don’t want to be the one that has to depend on everyone around. I want to be trustworthy, too.”

Minghao’s eyebrows furrowed a bit.

“I don’t want you to misunderstand” he spoke carefully. “If you decide to help me, you’re going to face your past every day. You’re going to see people like yourself. Soonyoung has been doing it for years. But it won’t be easy at first. It will never get easy.”

“I would like to still think about it.” You finally finished wrapping up his hand and completed it off with a bow. Your fingers lingered over his palm. You never would have thought that you could feel this comfortable, this at ease, touching a vampire. But Minghao’s skin wasn’t cold like your oppressor’s. It had fire underneath, warming up everyone who decided to accept him. You wanted to keep that fire from ever being extinguished, even if you would shield it – or fuel it – with your own body.

This last thought seemed to linger with you for a while, making you wonder. Would he agree if you suggested it? To give yourself to him willingly, not by force, but as a gift, like Soonyoung mentioned some people already do?

But then you realized it’s far too early to make a choice like such. Your trauma was still fresh, and you weren’t certain if it wouldn’t take you back to the square one.

“You won’t help anyone else if you don’t help yourself first” Minghao concluded in the end.

His hand reached towards you and for once, you didn’t fear someone getting close to you like that. When he patted your hair, you knew you have nothing to be scared of, nothing to worry about. He wouldn’t hurt you.

You still feared the world, though, and all the things that it would bring. You knew that it was not over yet, that many hardships would come your way, especially now that you were also aware of the struggles he had to face every day.

And if you protected that light that Minghao shone upon you, then maybe, one day, you would be able to shine with your own.

A/N: Please reblog if you enjoyed and follow if you would like to read more in the future. Thank you for your time!

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