#vampire 101

OH BOY!!!

So, Jessie (they/he/whatever) and Angel (he/him; Spanish name pronunciation: Ahn-hell, though he's alright with Angel too). They are precious OCs with stupid-baka-lives that I made with my bestie, Joan.

Jessie is a vampire who is relatively "new." They got turned in the 90s when they were in their 20s and living the goth dream. I mean Goth goth. PLEASE look up 90s goth fashion. The hair, the makeup... *chef kiss*

Then we get to modern day, and we have our lovely bisexual himbo college Jock, Angel. Now you may be thinking he does not sound like a stereotypical vampire, and you are correct. Because at this point, he is Not a vampire. He is a ray of sunshine, actually, so this story is hilariously ironic. He's social, and outgoing, and young, and uh. A little bit slow on the uptake (more on that later)...he's doing his best!

He's also got a thing for goths. Lol. Lmao.

One day he's at some party on campus when he notices Jessie gatecrashing, and being a wallflower, and generally being SO his type. Luckily our boy Angel is Jessie's type too. Their blood type, that is. Meaning. Yep, he's got blood alright! (...it Does help that he's cute)

Anyways, getting straight (or, bisexual, actually) to the point: they have a one night stand. Or at least, it was Supposed to be a one night stand, with Jessie nabbing a bit of fresh blood at some point and Angel none the wiser. Jessie just says they're a biter, which, to be fair, is Not a lie. But now, it's the morning after, and Jessie doesn't shoo off Angel right away. Both because he seems like a good guy who won't be weird about it, and because Angel seems like the king of guy who needs five meals a day or he'll die. Totally the only reasons. So, instead of shooing, they offer some breakfast to Angel.

Angel, darling that he is, eagerly accepts. Jessie, however, forgot to take into account that they are a Vampire and Angel is Not A Vampire. They need to give Angel actual edible food. Which like. It's not like Jessie never eats human food, it's just rare these days. So they've got to scrounge around to try and find anything and they find...some dubiously aged Eggos. Jessie tries to say maybe they should go get some ingredients to actually make somethint, but Angel is like it's fineee! I love Eggos!! They've been in the fridge this whole time!!! What could possibly go wrong!!!!!!!

So yeah, Angel chokes on these stale old Eggos and Jessie does not know the Heimlich or CPR. Not very high on vampire To-Learn priority lists I guess what with the uh. Immortality and all.

...Yeah, you guessed it. Jessie - understandably, really - panics over the dead body in their apartment and is like. OH, FUCK... WELL. I DO HAVE A SOLUTION FOR THIS and they turn Angel...That part is less understandable but a LOT funnier, so it stays.

TL;DR: Angel takes this all (relatively) in stride and is just happy to be here. Jessie thinks he is insane for this (they're right) and is now also responsible for giving this jock, this ray of sunshine, this...Extrovert...the Vampire 101 crash course.

Needless to say, chaos ensues.

(They do eventually properly enter A Relationship together and everyone around them is going to suffer through their eternal undying honeymoon phase.)

Bonus Content: There's more characters in this story! Like the legitimately batshit (<- compliment) 500+ year old bar owner vampire who sired Jessie. She is so unhinged and girlboss I love her. And also, Angel's long time Best Friend/former soccer team mate who is a disabled trans lesbian werewolf. Who Angel did NOT know is a werewolf AT ALL despite her barely bothering to hide it around him in recent years. I did mention he was slow on the uptake, remember...

So, yeah, that's the rundown on them! I haven't drawn the others yet, but here's some Jessie and Angel for y'all <3

small vampire 101 from my buffy zine.

http://beforeitsnews.com/paranormal/2014/07/vampires-and-law-enforcement-2472268.html

Note 1: They don't name the author, only his preferred column. Dude, if you wrote this let me know and I'll add your name and a facebook link for you. I even checked his Author Profile and found nothing but a website link. :/

Note 2: Not only do things on the internet have a habit of disappear behind pay-walls after 30 days, this particular site is loaded with trackers and scripts. Between Ghostery and Script Blocker I got alerts for no less than 55 hazards.That's why it's not a clickable link up there.

Vampires and Law Enforcement Monday, July 14, 2014 14:12

We all know the story of Vlad Tepes, a historical figure whose legend was expanded by Bram Stoker’s novel Dracula. You may also be familiar with the stories involving the Highgate Vampire and the Vampire Of Croglin Grange. There have been a few other vampire related tales the fit right along with the more famous narratives…though these were part of law enforcement investigations. It’s up to you to decide whether there are real facts involved:

THE ATLAS VAMPIRE

On May 1, 1932, a 32-year-old prostitute, Lilly Lindestrom was discussing plans for the evening’s May Day celebrations with her friend Minnie Jansson, a 35-year-old woman who lived on the same floor and made her living in the same way. Lilly was nicknamed the “call girl” because she was the only person in the building with a phone. Lilly received a call from a potential client, asking if he could come over. Lilly agreed, and Minnie left her to it.

On 4 May 1932, Lilly was found dead in her flat in the Sankt Eriksplan district of Stockholm, Sweden. She was last seen alive by her friend Minnie. Minnie said Lilly had to her apartment twice one evening to borrow condoms. On the second occasion, around 9PM, Lilly was totally naked beneath her coat. That was the last that was seen of Lilly for a couple of days.

Minnie became concerned after ringing Lilly’s doorbell and getting no reply. She called the police, who forced their way in. Lilly was found lying dead on the sofa, her clothes neatly folded on a chair nearby. Her skull had been dealt a crushing blow. What elevates this case from the tragic to the utterly bizarre though was the fact that somebody had been drinking her blood! In the room was a bloodstained gravy ladle. Further inspection revealed that the blood had been drained from Lilly’s body, and the killer had used the ladle to drink it.

Despite the authorities’ best efforts, the story leaked, and the local press nicknamed the unknown killer the Atlas Vampire, due to the area of the city in which Lilly lived. Eighty of Lilly’s customers were investigated, but no suspects were revealed. Minnie hadn’t recognized the voice on the phone from what she’d heard, but she commented that the man had seemed sober and polite. There didn’t seem to be any fingerprints on any of the suspicious items at the scene. One theory was that the killer was a police officer who had bludgeoned Lilly with his truncheon and knew how to cover his tracks. Either way, Lilly’s final customer was never found.

PETRE TOMA

The authorities in Craiova, south-west Romania, opened an investigation against six people alleged to have impaled the body of a villager who, according to them “had transformed himself into vampire” and “sucked blood from them during the night.”

The body of Petre Toma had been unearthed six weeks later by his brother-in-law in the presence of several other members of the family, including his widow and her grand-daughter. According to several testimonies, they made an incision in the chest of Toma to extract his heart before burning it. One report states that, in accordance with a local custom to protect against vampires, they dissolved the ashes in water and drank it.

An autopsy carried out by the authorities in Craiova confirmed that “the heart was indeed taken.”

The six people explained that after the death of Toma they had felt “weakened,” as if they did not have “any more blood.”

“One night I saw it in my room, and in the morning I could not arise; so much was I weakened”, said the grand-daughter of Toma, Mirela Marinescu. According to her, as soon as the exorcism ritual was performed the dead body “did not come any more to haunt” its family.

The Sunday Times reported that several villagers affirmed that this exorcism ritual was known and practiced for a long time in the area, and that it each time had appeared “effective against vampires.”

“For centuries we have had to protect ourselves against these creatures by finding the graves of the undead and risking our lives by ripping out their hearts,” said sixty-eight-year-old Tita Musca, a local farmer.

THE NEW ORLEANS VAMPIRE MURDERS

In 1984 nine people were found dead in various sections of the French Quarter of New Orleans. They all had been murdered by having their throats torn out. The paramedics responding to the scenes were struck by the fact that there was no blood at the scenes…something or someone had simply sucked all the blood directly from the victims. Police to this day do not have a suspect in this case….the murder spree ended as quickly as it had began. Rumors suggested that it was the work of a rogue vampire that was destroyed by the elder vampire sect of New Orleans because of pressure placed by authorities on the known vampire community in city.

In 1933, on two different nights, police were called to Royal Street where on each night young prostitutes were found laying in a alley with their throats torn out. Both women had been dead only a few minutes when they were found but no blood was found at the scenes. A local resident who lived above one of the murder scenes claimed a dark figure was observed leaning over one of the victims and people began to scream for police. The witness said the dark figure had climbed over a 12 foot wall at the end of the alley with little effort. It appeared to the witness that the dark figure was a man dressed in a black cape and hat. Police searched but found nothing. Both murders have yet to be solved.

THE DILLSBORO VAMPIRES

In the spring of 1788 a family setup housekeeping in the small mountain community of Dillsboro N.C. The family name was Alfort and there were rumors that they had descended from royalty. They bought land by the river and built what was then a very nice large southern colonial home. Dr. Alfort opened up an office and pharmacy in a few rooms in the front of the house. The local people were at first really happy that a new doctor had arrived in their community…but very quickly this attitude was about to change.

Two men both who had gone to the new doctor to be treated for gout suddenly died. Both men had been well liked members of the community and the circumstances angered many of the residents. However in a short time the local minister had brokered peace in the community and everything seemed to be fine. However this calm was short lived.

That Fall the young daughter of the minister was found dead in her bed with puncture marks to her throat. The minister’s wife swore she had seen a dark form hovering over her daughter and she screamed but it was too late and the child quickly succumb to the attack.

The incident caused a huge outcry in the town and the people of the area started to claim a vampire or a group of vampires was in their midst. For many nights groups of men ventured out and searched but found nothing. However some men claimed to have seen a large black bat-like creature fly over them. A few nights after the sighting a young boy ran down the hill to his grandfather’s house and proclaimed that something was up the hill in his house attacking his parents. The grandfather summoned other men and they ran to the house but only found the parents and their two young daughters, who were dead with puncture wounds to their necks. The area was immediately alerted…soldiers were called in and searched the area. By February of 1789 the community had quieted down.

Then one evening screams were heard and when men arrived they witnessed a black form of a human run from the house, run down the hill and into the Alfort house. When the village men went into the house where the screams had come from they found the bodies of a young couple with vicious bite marks to their throats. Almost at once more men came and they were told that the murderer had ran down the hill and into the Alfort house. When the search party got to the Alfort house Dr. Alfort refused to let them in. However as soon as the sheriff arrived they dragged Dr. Alfort outside and tied him to a tree. When the men entered the house they were surprised at what they found. The upstairs bedrooms each had beds but it was clear that no one had slept in them. When the sheriff and search party went downstairs they found three caskets and Mrs. Alfort, who was dressed in black, lying in one of the caskets and very much alive. She hissed and cursed at them as she was pulled from the casket.

Later that night the sheriff and the village minister announced to the crowd assembled outside the Alfort house that the Alforts and their son were vampires. The Alforts were summarily hanged and then placed back inside the house. The house was set on fire and burned to the ground. However the couple’s 15 year old son was not found and never seen in the area again. There were no further unusual murders in the area.

IDENTIFYING A VAMPIRE

In 1926, Agnes Murgoci wrote in The Vampire in Roumanie the ways to determine if any dead man is a vampire:

- 1. His household, his family, and his live stock, and possibly even the live stock of the whole village, die off rapidly.

- 2. He comes back in the night and speaks with the family. He may eat what he finds in dishes and knock things about, or he may help with the housework and cut wood. Female vampires also come back to their children. There was a Hungarian vampire which could not be kept away, even by the priest and holy water.

- 3. The priest reads a service at the grave. If the evil which is occurring does not cease, it is a bad sign.

- 4. A hole about the size of a serpent may be found near the tombstone of the dead man. If so, it is a sign of a vampire, because vampires come out of graves by just such holes.

- 5. Even in the daytime a white horse will not walk over the grave of a vampire, but stands still and snorts and neighs.

- 6. A gander, similarly, will not walk over the grave of a vampire.

- 7. On exhuming the corpse, if it is a vampire it will be found to be:

Dracula; of course. Lestat—cool. Edward Cullen… maybe.

Everyone’s heard of these Pop Culture vampires. But how about Lamias, Upírs, or Striges?

By markknightbooks

http://markknightbooks.wordpress.com/2014/05/31/vampire-legends-from-around-the-world/

There are vampires of all varieties all around the world, pervading every culture from Romania to India, from China to South America. And believe me, some of them are so horrifying that they make your typical Hollywood vampire look like a not-particularly-threatening school bully in comparison.

Lamastu (Mesopotamia)

Legends of vampires date back to ancient Mesopotamia—the lands of the Assyrian and Babylonian empires, between the Tigris and Euphrates rivers. Assyrian legend speaks of a demon goddess known as the Lamastu (meaning: ‘she who erases’).

The Lamastu preyed on humans, creeping into a house at night to kill babies and drink their blood. Infant death was often attributed to the Lamastu. This legend gave rise to the Lamia and Striges in ancient Greece, which also preyed upon children.

Lamastu – Assyrian Vampire

Upír & Upiers (Balkans and Russia)

The vampires we know of today in books and films is a direct descendent of the Slavic vampire of the ninth century. Vampire lore from Eastern Europe saw vampirism as a result of birth mutations or evil dispositions; a deformed baby or person with murderous tendencies were said to become vampires. Vampires emerging from the Balkan region were referred to as the Upiers.

The Russian vampire—the Upír—has the power to mesmerize a victim with its evil eye, leading him to his death.

Penanggalan (Malaysia)

Truly horrifying to behold, the Penanggalan is a vampiric ghost of Malaysian folklore. A beautiful woman by day, the Penanggalan will detach its head at night—entrails and organs dangling beneath it—and seek out its victims (often children) to drain of blood.

A person who so much as comes into contact with the fluids dripping from its entrails will become violently ill. One can escape this loathsome creature by luring it into thorny patches, where its viscera will become entangled.

Penanggalan – Malaysian Vampire

Chiang-Shih (China)

The Chinese hopping vampire known as the chiang-shih (or jiangshi) is said to come about if a corpse is exposed to sunlight or moonlight before burial. A person who led a dishonest life or committed suicide will also become a chiang-shih according to legend.

Wearing clothes dating back to the Quing Dynasty, it hops stiffly about with its arms out, sucking the life force from its victims. Some legends state that it has poisonous breath, cannot cross moving water, and cannot climb ladders. Cremating the corpse is the only way to destroy the chiang-shih.

Churel (India)

There are scholars who believe that vampire mythology actually began in India and then spread to Eastern Europe through the spice and silk trade routes. India has several vampiric figures, including the Rakshasa, Churel, and Vetalas.

A Churel is the vampiric spirit of a woman who died in childbirth, making her last lover in life as her first victim, followed by her male relatives. The Churel charms men with her beauty, though her demonic nature is sometimes given away by her feet which are turned backwards.

The Vetalas was a part man and part bat, possibly giving rise to the vampire’s association with bats in modern mythology.

Beta-reader: So I've read your first chapter.

Me: Oh. *tension rises*

Beta-reader: And I like it.

Me: *sigh of utter relief*

Beta-reader: I just have a question about that scene where she's in the garden.

Me: Yeah?

Beta-reader: You always say that you prefer your vampires roasted in sunlight, not sparkling.

Me: Yes, absolutely!