#vamp!yancy

“What do you think they are?”

“Well, one of ‘ems a vampire for sures.”

“Yeah but like, what about the other two? ‘Cause they smell frickin’ rank, dude. ‘Specially the angry-lookin’ one.”

“Like... wet dogs or somethin’.”

“Yeah, totally! ... Maybe they just have BO.”

“We outta tells Dark abouts this.”

“... In like, two minutes? The vampire is playing the kazoo again and I think the angry guy is about to snap it in half.”

“Oh shit, youse might be right.

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“I’ll do it!”

“Miles, give Enis his kazoo back!”

“NO! I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!”

“Miles, we’re stuck in a strange forest, no clue how we got here, and we have to work together to get out!” Dodger walks up, her footsteps... aligning to a beat.

“We have to work together!” she sings, reaching for the kazoo. “We have to keep the peace!”

Miles stumbles away, kazoo still in hand. “I’d rather fight off a flock of angry geese!” he sings back.

“We need to find a way out, so we need to get along!”

Enis grins, and joins in with a slide and throwing open his arms. “And that’s why we’ll sing this healing song!” 

“I don’t want to deal this.” Miles throws the kazoo away and starts stalking off. “I’ll find my own way home!”

“Oh, come on,” Dodger scoffs.

Dodger and Enis both pops up next to Miles, hugging him and singing at the same time. “You know we’ll always be there wherever you will roam!”

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Bing and Yancy sit in the tree, gawking.

“Are they singing?” Bing whispers.

“Yeahs,” Yancy whispers back.

“Dude, you outta pop in and join them.”

“What?”

“Yeah! You like singing like this, totally seems like your thing.”

“I’s don’t sing no mores, remember?”

“You totally hum and sing to yourself like, all the time.”

“... Well I’m not gonna do’s it in front of other people.”

Bing and Yancy watch the spontaneous-kazoo-battle-dance-choreography scene for a minute more.

“... I don’t think you’d be the embarrassing one if that’s what you’re worried about.”

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“Alright, FINE! I guess... this journey isn’t just mine. Enis, here’s your kazoo.”

“I knew we could count on you!” 

And just as suddenly as the musical number began... it ceases. They pick up their stuff, and set off again.

“Doesn’t mean you can play it again yet,” Miles growls, not even looking behind him as Enis lifts the kazoo to his mouth.

Enis slowly lowers it.

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“Okay, dude, Dark’s gonna flip out about this, I’m flipping out about this! What the heck was even... like, dude, what?!” Bing laughs a little, and pulls out his phone. “Should I send a memory recording, dude?”

“Youse got enough wi-fis?”

Yancy shouts when you grab him, and then goes from startled to confused. “Um, hi.”

You hug him. He can’t help but smile a little. You’re warm, and he’s been freezing for years. And he can’t smell any blood, so his hunger isn’t acting up.

What kind of things would you like to see some one-shots for?

Like... anything. Anything you want to see a character do, or like... a situation, or...

Like, do you wanna see a-day-in-the-life stuff with any of them? More important things? Creepy? Fluffy? Angsty? Throw things back to when Dark was still Damien? To before The Party? AUs of the AU? Something else?

Just like- spew your ideas at me. For full one-shots, which with me can range from like... 400 words to apparently 3,000+. 

Not really. Most of the others are accepting of their life, resigned to it, or happy with it.

Yancy is resigned, Bing is accepting, Host is accepting, Bim is super happy and like good for him I guess but also dude you’re kind of a dick, and Eric is accepting. 

And of course Wilford is really... “happy”, but Dark does have to have Wilford watched by either a Google or himself most of the time for non-escape relate reasons. Like, “If he does too much murder it could expose us” reasons. And “he’s a danger to other and frankly himself as well” reasons.

He’s got some general plans, yes. They’re like the foundations of plans, and then he tailors them extra based on who it might be.

Okay, let’s say, just to give Doc a little break here, that Yancy is trying to escape. Unlikely to ever happen, but we do enjoy entertaining hypotheticals with this AU!

He’s the third oldest in the household, so he’s quite used to being a vampire and competent with his abilities. And he was a tad bit of a troublemaker when he was human, so he’s good at getting away from people and hiding. He hasn’t done that in a long time though.

So. Yancy tries to escape. He’s been otherwise loyal and shown no signs of wanting to get away. Dark’s guard is more down. Yancy could easily say he’s going out hunting, and Dark would believe that. Yancy goes out hunting plenty often, nothing suspicious or odd about him doing so.

Yancy goes out and runs for it. He knows that he could be out of Dark’s territory before Dark realized that something was up.

Dark has a plan for if someone gets out of the territory. Send The Googles, a good base for the plan.

Then he tailors it.

Yancy is very fast, very strong, clever, good at tricking, and good at hiding. So Dark would see it fit to send all four of The Googles after him.

When Yancy needs to feed, he’d likely try to find a quick meal, so... probably a sleeping homeless person, unfortunately. He feels guilt and self-loathing, of course, but he feels that all the time and has kind of become used to it. 

So there’s something for The Googles to look out for and use as a clue to where he is. 

Once The Googles found Yancy, they’d move in very quickly, surrounding him from all sides, because with Yancy you need to make sure you cover all your bases. Can’t leave any chance of him slipping away, because he can and will. We all know all the shit he did to help us escape in AHWM, and he did so seemingly with ease, so I imagine that in this scenario he’d be willing to do some tricky and possibly dangerous stuff to escape.

Once they had him they’d need to retrain him, because if he’s trying to escape, he’s likely very willing to fight back. Dark has a small collection of silver like... not chain-chains, like prison shackle kinds, but like, silver necklace chains. Not fully silver, just plated or something, enough to be able to restrain a strong vampire but not really hurt them. Burn a little, sure, but nothing permanent or excruciating.

Dark would meet The Googles at the edge of the territory. Here’s another example of tailoring. He needs to have a good talk with the escapee, in this case Yancy.

He’d play into Yancy’s self-loathing and feeling like he deserves punishment. He’d ask Yancy what he thought he would do once he had escaped. Then he’d just be out, a danger to so many more people, remember what happened the last time he was alone? He lost control and killed his parents. What could he have hoped to do? Be alone, forever, killing anyone he gets close to? Etc, etc, etc.

Basically he’d try to get Yancy to once again enter that headspace of “This is better than the alternative, I don’t want to die but I don’t think I should get to be truly happy because of what I’ve done, I’ll just stay here, just stay here.” And, considering Yancy has had that mentality for decades, Dark could get him back to that with relative ease.

So see, there’s a basic plan: Send The Googles, have them capture the escapee, talk to the escapee when they are brought back, get them home and keep a close eye on them for a long while.

Then the parts tailored specifically for Yancy: Sending all of The Googles because of his strengths and skills, giving The Googles some specific things to look for that could be clues as to where Yancy has been and could be going, having them move in very quickly when they find him, and the wording and content of the talk he gives.