#vamp!bing

“What do you think they are?”

“Well, one of ‘ems a vampire for sures.”

“Yeah but like, what about the other two? ‘Cause they smell frickin’ rank, dude. ‘Specially the angry-lookin’ one.”

“Like... wet dogs or somethin’.”

“Yeah, totally! ... Maybe they just have BO.”

“We outta tells Dark abouts this.”

“... In like, two minutes? The vampire is playing the kazoo again and I think the angry guy is about to snap it in half.”

“Oh shit, youse might be right.

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“I’ll do it!”

“Miles, give Enis his kazoo back!”

“NO! I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!”

“Miles, we’re stuck in a strange forest, no clue how we got here, and we have to work together to get out!” Dodger walks up, her footsteps... aligning to a beat.

“We have to work together!” she sings, reaching for the kazoo. “We have to keep the peace!”

Miles stumbles away, kazoo still in hand. “I’d rather fight off a flock of angry geese!” he sings back.

“We need to find a way out, so we need to get along!”

Enis grins, and joins in with a slide and throwing open his arms. “And that’s why we’ll sing this healing song!” 

“I don’t want to deal this.” Miles throws the kazoo away and starts stalking off. “I’ll find my own way home!”

“Oh, come on,” Dodger scoffs.

Dodger and Enis both pops up next to Miles, hugging him and singing at the same time. “You know we’ll always be there wherever you will roam!”

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Bing and Yancy sit in the tree, gawking.

“Are they singing?” Bing whispers.

“Yeahs,” Yancy whispers back.

“Dude, you outta pop in and join them.”

“What?”

“Yeah! You like singing like this, totally seems like your thing.”

“I’s don’t sing no mores, remember?”

“You totally hum and sing to yourself like, all the time.”

“... Well I’m not gonna do’s it in front of other people.”

Bing and Yancy watch the spontaneous-kazoo-battle-dance-choreography scene for a minute more.

“... I don’t think you’d be the embarrassing one if that’s what you’re worried about.”

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“Alright, FINE! I guess... this journey isn’t just mine. Enis, here’s your kazoo.”

“I knew we could count on you!” 

And just as suddenly as the musical number began... it ceases. They pick up their stuff, and set off again.

“Doesn’t mean you can play it again yet,” Miles growls, not even looking behind him as Enis lifts the kazoo to his mouth.

Enis slowly lowers it.

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“Okay, dude, Dark’s gonna flip out about this, I’m flipping out about this! What the heck was even... like, dude, what?!” Bing laughs a little, and pulls out his phone. “Should I send a memory recording, dude?”

“Youse got enough wi-fis?”

Vamp!Bing rubs his neck. Bing blows out a breath.

“You uh... you’re an android? Like The Googles?”

Bing makes a face. “Nah, bruh. They’re jerks.”

Sia RP!Bing shrugs. “I mean like... mine are nice now. Not like, mine, just like, the ones I know...”

Vamp!Bing frowns. “Really? Nice? I mean, mine- and by the way it’s cool bruh, we knew what you meant- aren’t mean, but like, they aren’t nice.”

Bing scoffs. “You dudes are lucky. Mine are total buttwads. Oh, you’re just default. Oh Bing is so stupid, he has a language filter. Oh look we like to murder people, like everyone else in this frickin’ mansion, we’re so much better than Bing.”

“... Can’t you...  I don’t know, beat them up? You can’t like, die, right? ‘Cause if I was full android I’d have a backup cloud or something for my brain,” Sia RP!Bing says.

“Bruh, I can super die! No backup clouds for me! Dark like, stole me.”

“Same,” both VampBing’s say at once.

“Well, not really. They tossed us and we ran. But like, same with Dark not technically owning us.”

“... And ‘cause we’re, you know, people.”

“Right. That too.”

There’s some silence.

“... So... what are your guys’ Hosts like?” Bing asks.

“Uh,  kinda creepy. Doesn’t interact with any of us much,”  Vamp!Bing says  with a shrug. “I like him, I think. He’s never given me a reason not to like him. He’s just like... reclusive.”

“Our was like that, but no he comes out of his room like, all the time. And he’s super... not sociable, but he actually openly cares. So that’s sweet!”

Bing gapes at them. “You guys aren’t best friends with him?”

Vamp!Bing gives him an incredulous look. “You are?!”

“Yeah, bruh! He’s my dude! We’re super tight! We’re both like, the odd ones out, kinda.”

Vamp!Bing stares. “My best bro is Yancy.”

Sia RP!Bing nods. “And Evan! Oh, right, your guys don’t have Evans. He’s super cool, he taught me parkour, and he’s half elf. Rad as heck.”

Both other Bings nod approvingly.

Bing shakes his head. “Wait, Yancy? The singing guy from Heist?”

“... What heist?”

“You mean the cure heist? He was with us before that.”

“No, like- oh, right, right, non-ego universe. Uh, it’s a video thing.”

“... Okay. Uh, yeah, he loves singing, probably him. Why?”

“Just like... I never talk to the dude. That’s weird. We’re really different.”

“What else is different?” Vamp!Bing asks, looking between the other two.

“... I remember my past,” Sia RP!Bing says.

“Wait, what?! Dude! How!” Vamp!Bing looks at him with wonder.

“Complicated crap, man. Almost got possessed by a demon thing infecting Doc, and then like, broke into the lab that made me because I got it when we broke into the Hunter headquarters, and like... all kinds of stuff. And I have a robot lizard magic guy because of it now, too.”

“... Can we trade lives for a day?”

“No offense but like, I never want to go back to that life you’ve still got goin’, you know?”

Bing sits back. “I have no clue what you two are talking about. Hey, have either of you ever startled Dark just to watch his shell crack?”

“... Shell? Crack? Is he a Ninja Turtle?”

Vamp!Bing and  Sia RP!Bing high-five.

Bing grins. “Dudes, you’re gonna love this. I’mma go grab Host, he does it best.”

“Sure!”

“Hey, what’s the deal with Dark’s sister int his universe? Or The DA?” 

LIKE FROM BEFORE HE WAS A CYBORG

What kind of things would you like to see some one-shots for?

Like... anything. Anything you want to see a character do, or like... a situation, or...

Like, do you wanna see a-day-in-the-life stuff with any of them? More important things? Creepy? Fluffy? Angsty? Throw things back to when Dark was still Damien? To before The Party? AUs of the AU? Something else?

Just like- spew your ideas at me. For full one-shots, which with me can range from like... 400 words to apparently 3,000+. 

Mark is provided blood by The Hunters. He’s not allowed to get his own. He is assured by them that it’s all from willing donors who know that he’s getting it.

They are lying. That’s why he never has any feelings of an unfinished feed. They give him all the blood from a person.

He doesn’t know about unfinished feeds and how they work, so he doesn’t realize this.

The DA also gets blood from them.

They, being only half vampire, don’t need as much or need it as often.

The younger vampires in the Iplier household still have some color left in their skin instead of being totally pale.

Dr. Iplier is, however, the palest of all of them.

Since he only feeds when he absolutely needs to, he goes out in the sunlight the least often out of any of them. Practically never, in fact,

Bing is a cyborg, mostly android though, turned after he became a cyborg.

The Googles are androids that Dark found and reprogrammed. They don’t actually need the blood they “drink”, they basically just like... gather it up and bring it home so if one of the other Ipliers needs some urgently they’ve got it on hand.

The Googles’ “hunger” is a program that alerts them when the emergency blood supplies need replenishing or replacing.

They do bite people for it. There’s not a like, practical reason or anything, Dark just... wanted them to be “proper” vampires.

Wilford does have his reality bending powers in this AU. How? Why? I dunno. He just does.

Dark doesn’t have the shadow aura, or the ringing, or the blue and red. I know! I am sad about it too, but given the lore of this AU it wouldn’t make sense. He does have an invisible aura though, it just makes people around him feel like he’s trustworthy and safe and they like him and all that.

Eric was after the bus accident, literally right afterwards.

Host was turned immediately after losing his eyes and going form Author to Host.

Bim? That boy is a kiss-up to Dark.

Dark likes how obedient Bim is but he would never actually like... put Bim in charge or make him his right-hand guy or anything.

He adjusts based on the person he’s trying to get, but usually he can get where he wants by acting as a confidant, someone who listens to your problems, the secrets you wouldn’t tell anyone else, stuff like that.

So like... Bing. He wasn’t doing great with the whole cyborg thing, and so even though he kept up an image of happy and carefree dude-bro he was actually quite depressed when alone. Dark, of course, knew this from the stalking (god he’s so creepy). He “bumped into” Bing. Struck up a conversation. Kept things light, it was fun, let Bing show off some skateboard tricks and showed a curiosity and interest despite his lack of knowledge on the subject. And it was nice! People usually brushed Bing off or ignored him!

And so they became friends, and Bing would teach Dark all this modern stuff, and Dark would pay attention and make Bing feel validated and valued. Bing was worth his time, and Bing wasn’t usually considered worthy of people’s time.

Thanks to Dark’s aura of trustworthiness and feelings of safety it was easy to get Bing to open up with his hidden feelings. Bing would tell Dark about how he doubts himself, how he feels worthless sometimes, how he tries to be so loud and in-your-face because he often feels invisible and ignored, things like that. And then he opened up about how becoming a cyborg didn’t help, how he couldn’t even remember how it happened, he didn’t even get a choice!

Aaaaand eventually Dark was like “I might be able to help.” 

And he told Bing that he was a vampire, and that if Bing wanted he could join Dark’s family, and he’d never be ignored again, and he would of course be valued.

And he stressed that it was Bing’s choice (a lie), since Bing was so upset that he didn’t get to choose if he wanted to be a cyborg or not.

And at this point Bing totally trusted Dark, and honestly it didn’t seem that bad (Dark made sure to keep the conversation and focus away from the whole “killing people and drinking their blood” part of things), so he agreed.

But with Bim, however, things were very different!

Bim did not need someone to spill his deep feelings to. He needed and wanted a mentor. Someone who could teach him how to be charming, and how to get people to like him quickly.

So that’s what Dark did. Came to Bim, said he was a fan of the show and that he would like to help Bim out with his persona. 

Bim agreed, because at this point the show wasn’t doing too well and he knew that if he could just be an interesting and charismatic enough host it would at least move past possible cancellation.

So they started working together. Dark gave Bim some tips and tricks. 

(Dark mostly learned the tips and advice he gave from his manipulation of people, but some of it was things he remembered from Actor. Actor telling him tips to help with is mayoral campaign, Actor just talking about acting and show business and keeping up a good image, or just from watching Actor. But Dark tried not to think about that. It didn’t matter how he knew these tips or where he learned them from. He was using them to get a new family member, he had to focus on that.)

Bim came to greatly admire Dark, to a point of basically worshiping him. Dark was less a close personal friend and more this... picture of what Bim wanted to be, standing on a pedestal, offering a hand to bring Bim up upon one too. 

So when Dark offered, Bim jumped at the chance. Dark barely had to do any convincing. Bim was immediately like “Yes, please, I want to be just like you!”

Not really. Most of the others are accepting of their life, resigned to it, or happy with it.

Yancy is resigned, Bing is accepting, Host is accepting, Bim is super happy and like good for him I guess but also dude you’re kind of a dick, and Eric is accepting. 

And of course Wilford is really... “happy”, but Dark does have to have Wilford watched by either a Google or himself most of the time for non-escape relate reasons. Like, “If he does too much murder it could expose us” reasons. And “he’s a danger to other and frankly himself as well” reasons.

Cyborg boy

I can’t decide if he was turned into a vampire first or a cyborg first

If he was turned into a vampire first than he got terribly injured in a fight with either a stronger vampire or a werewolf

And maybe Google found him and was like “What the fuck is this, it looks human but something about it is off, ah well I think i’ll experiment on it.” 

And then that made Bing into a cyborg

It messed up his ability to turn into a bat and it’s harder to process blood now. He already had super strength before so that’s not new. But now he has an internal clock and never stays out too late again, and he can go out in the sun a lot easier (still hurts a little, but it won’t kill him anymore so that’s nice).

Or if he was a cyborg first

Then the vampire who bit him probably wasn’t too happy with the combo of blood and... some kind of oil? Synthetic blood? Nanobots? I don’t know.

He didn’t think it would affect him at all.

And then he started getting system alerts about his battery running lower too quickly during the day,

Easily overheating when outside at a rate way faster than before,

Feeling actual hunger for the first time since he’d become a cyborg,

And he’s like “Oh... shit.”

Or

A fully android Bing

No human in him,

But captured and reprogrammed by a mad scientist

OR!