#valvent

a fully updated list of the entirety of this thirsty bishs work

Enjoy Darlin’s!

Rules

For context I work at a Subway and these were all said by one ballsy God of a man

-them saying "Get that weak shit outta here" and changing my Five Finger Deathpunch playlist to NyanCat 10hr version

-"We're closed" to 30 customers, 5 of them actually walking out and believing them

-"Val leave me tf alone, I'm trying to program the register to play fornite songs when it depsenses the change"

-"I want to die" followed by furious dabbing

-"Oh this bitch wants extra onion? HAVE FUN SMELLIN LIKE YOU ATE SHREKS ASS"

-"Sorry sir, I could care less about your feelings"

-"VAL WE NEED TOMATOES CUT PRONTO OR THIS LADYS GONNA DIE"

-"If I rob the store and give you $300, would you turn me in"

-"Let's be honest here, Val. I'm going to be working here even after my nursing degree, I better have fun with this"

-casually hosts a seance using deli paper with a pencil written ouji board drawn on it

-"The sandwich gods say NEIGH VAL" Proceeds to yeet my phone into the office

-"Could you find the Aux cord for me, I got in trouble for blaring blood on the dancefloor so they keep hiding it from me"

- awkward fortnite dances

-"LISTEN TO ME VAL, listen. All I'm saying is Pornhub is paying people up to $35k a year for their videos. So if you see me on there mind ya damn business"

-"Did you just eat onions raw.... You fucking heathen"

-Val there's no reason so stab people... Oh he was wearing a ski mask? Then why didn't you fuck him up"

-genuinely confused faces at customers weird ass requests

-"AND I SAID OK BRENDA GO TAKE JOHN TO THE SOCCER GAME NOW"

-"Val you need to remember to put up the wet floor signs or I might just try to get workers comp"

-"YOU WANT WHAT ON THE SIDE??? Oh sure thing ma'am"

-"VAAAAAAL. VAAAAAAAAALL. VAAAAAAALLL- oh hi"

-"DONT FUCKING sneak up on me you little ninja midget you"

-"You know if you slouch a bit more you might qualify for disability for being a midget, get that cash you deserve for God not giving you legs like mine"

-"OH GOOD VAL'S HERE YALL ARE FUCKED" aggressively points at onions

-"VAL HIT THE WHIP" * unholy screeching when I comply *

-"I wish I was alive during the Holocaust, I've always wanted to die in a gas chamber"

-"VAL can I use your coat, it's colder than a taun tauns asshole in a snowstorm on Hoth"

Kaminari/ Kirishima

Absolutely Denki, 110%

I feel like Kiri would just be like "Haha isn't this funny?"

...

"Unless"

Flower Bois I love it

Bakugou

So I was debating between two flowers but I think the official flower for Katsuki would have to be the Fire King Crocosmia

They come in vibrant reds and oranges and they look like explosions! And honestly they're just beautiful and I need him to wear a flower crown with these

The runner up I was debating with were Ditch Lilies! They grow like weeds where I live and are a warm reminder of the Splodey gremlin. Have a pic I took last summer

Todoroki

Obviously something that would resemble his chimerism so I'd have to say a hybrid rose

Hybrid roses come in an entire spectrum of colors so finding a specific color combination is definitely one in a million, just like Shoto himself

Kirishima

Kiri was definitely a difficult one for me to find a good match to but I feel like a Red Dahliawould fit him!

Dahlia's come in a rainbow of colors and seemingly endless sizes and shapes, but they all have a bright vibrancy in common. Not to mention they can be huge! And manly in a suit pocket

Shinsou

Hands down I have to go with a purple Snapdragon

Snapdragons come in a range of colors but the purple just seems to mirror Hitoshi in a way I can't quite describe. I think its the way they look so gentle(?)

But also when they finish flowering their seeds look like skulls, so I feel like it'd definitely make our Black Parade emo happy

But have y'all considered: