heĀ doesnātĀ sleepĀ anymore .Ā Ā Ā not now that he is a stranger in his home ;Ā Ā Ā in his own body .Ā Ā Ā ( howĀ manyĀ yearsĀ willĀ itĀ take ,Ā Ā Ā peter pevensie ,Ā Ā Ā for you to once again recognise the face that stares out at you from within the looking glass ?Ā Ā Ā ten ?Ā Ā Ā fifteen ?Ā Ā Ā or will your only reminder of your time in that bewitching ,Ā Ā Ā bloody dream be the presence of something ancient in your eyes ,Ā Ā Ā asĀ Ā turbulentĀ andĀ restlessĀ as the eastern sea in a storm ?Ā Ā Ā whoĀ are you ,Ā Ā Ā little soldier ,Ā Ā Ā without your swordĀ Ā &Ā Ā battle scars ? )Ā Ā Ā mum often berates him for it when she finds him dozing with his head cradled in his arms at the dining table each grey morn ,Ā Ā Ā questioning whether he plans toĀ carryĀ onĀ like this once his father comes home ,Ā Ā Ā once heās back at school :Ā Ā Ā he will never tell her that a part of himĀ Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā the part that is nearly older than his own motherĀ Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā would die before allowing anyone to trap him within the four walls of hendon house for two more years .
heās doing it again ;Ā Ā Ā haunting this somnolent house in finchley ,Ā Ā Ā wandering the halls with all the soundless grace of a ghostĀ Ā ( this energy ,Ā Ā Ā this restless ,Ā Ā Ā agonisingĀ energy ,Ā Ā Ā must goĀ somewhere )Ā .Ā Ā Ā only now ,Ā Ā Ā after an entire month ,Ā Ā Ā has the true grief begun to bloom within peterās chest like a festeringĀ Ā weedĀ Ā that he knows heāll never be able to claw out from between his ribsĀ Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā perhaps they arenāt going back ,Ā Ā Ā after all .Ā Ā Ā and perhaps he isnāt the only conscious mourner ,Ā Ā Ā even at this hour .Ā Ā Ā itās quiet ,Ā Ā Ā but peterĀ Ā ( ever the eldest ,Ā Ā Ā ever the protector )Ā Ā hears lucyās tears like aĀ Ā heartbeatĀ inĀ aĀ hurricane ,Ā Ā Ā and he does not think twice before redirecting his aimless course .Ā Ā Ā ā lu ? āĀ Ā Ā he whispers ,Ā Ā Ā rapping twice on her bedroom door with two fingers before nudging it open ,Ā Ā Ā by just a fraction .
