So to recap Vox's moments of kindness/caretaking so far (focusing mainly on the positive side of his relationship to the Vees here, because his slide into toxicity is worth its own meta), we've seen him drop what he's doing to go check in on Vel and Val after one of Val's tantrums; talk down Val and stop him from doing something stupid, offer him stress relief, light his cigarette, let Vel go do a meeting for him, entrusting her with an important job, invite them to take over heaven with him while dancing arm in arm, enjoyed a laugh at Charlie with Vel in private, gently put Val's glasses on after sex, and step in the way of deadly attacks (an angelic weapon and Alastor's shadows) to protect them. That's not counting tired-house-husband Vox in the Live-stream of Val's, or doting shark-dad Vox's fondness for Shok.wave. He keeps family photos of them and proudly displays them before Al. Don't get me wrong, he's no saint and he's not perfect towards them (OBVIOUSLY!), but there's this very care-taking, devoted side of Vox behind all the ego and the bluster that defaults to looking after Vel and Val. (For a deeper analysis, this post is great)

Bear in mind, this is just from a time period of about five days that we've seen, on many of which he's been noticeably grumpy or stressed. Extrapolate that into forty years of "business partnership" with Val and 20 with Vel, and that adds up to a lot of caretaking Vox. This post, and the comments on it, kinda elaborates on all this - the trauma response that drives him into awfulness around Al, the way the Vees cope, etc.

If all Vox wanted was to be adulated and worshipped, he'd be surrounded by subordinate sycophants he stepped on. He slips into that desire when he's upset (late s2, probably the end of his human life), but on a good day he wants to have someone in his life to care for. He's got a caretaking urge that is all twisted up in his violence, his cruelty and his selfishness and ego, but nonetheless comes through against his will. He wants to be a cold, cruel and calculating monster, and for the most part he is. It's kind of that he has, unfortunately, got a heart - not much of one, but it's there. I'd imagine that's probably why Val and Vel (and Al, though he's in denial about it) are so drawn to him; he's a horrible person like they are, so they don't feel judged by him the way they'd feel around Charlie and Co., but he's also capable of giving them the caretaking every human wants, no matter how horrible that human might be.

Sometimes this actually slides into Vox having an all-take-and-no-give relationship with the people around him. Obviously, with Al Vox gives everything (attention, admiration, his life and soul) and Al gives nothing, but his dynamics with Vel and Val can go this way sometimes too. When Val is crashing out over Angel leaving, Vox drops everything, talks him down and soothes him. When Vox crashes out over Al, Val just teases him (I'll def want to write about Val's side of this at some point). We don't see Val returning his casual affection at any point I can remember - we don't see him lighting a cigarette for Vox or doing the equivalent of putting his glasses on - or as I noted in my 1x03 analysis, we don't see Vel apologizing for creating problems with Carmilla. Now, they do repay his affection back big time in the s2 finale, so it's not like there's nothing; it's just on a day-to-day basis, they sometimes struggle to reciprocate in small ways, while coming through in a big, big way when it counts.

This isn't to romanticize or call Vox a saint or anything. He screws up, he has walls up, and he's a terrible person in so many ways. It's just that he has an instinct to care very passionately for the few people in his life, to give them affection and casual care. He wants to be loved and adored and worshipped, but he strangely also seems to want to love someone else at the same time. He doesn't deep down believe he's worthy of love, so he slips into abusive dynamics (letting Val throw things at him and break his screen, craving approval from Alastor when Alastor constantly tears him down) and retaliates with cruelty and evil and, ultimately, self-destruction.

But he gave Vel and Val (and Shok.wave) a home and a family and a grumpy caretaker husband/bestie/father, and they gave him in the finale the love in return that saved his life. His shark-son saved him from Al, and his team saved him from himself.

That's probably what took Alastor by surprise. For all his belief that Vox was easy to play, he still ended up crawling bleeding on the ground and on the wrong end of a death canon, and for all his attempts to break Vox, the Vees' bond was too strong for it. I think Al doesn't understand that Vox is capable of actual love, and that's why he didn't think A) Vox would call for help, B) Vox would be hurt enough by him to try and kill himself to kill him, and C) he underestimated the Vees' love for him, which only exists because Vox gave them care first.

For contrast, you have Alastor. Alastor (at this point) wants only to be worshipped and feared; he wants to be respected and looked up to, but he doesn't want to be loved and he definitely wants to avoid loving anyone. And he gets what he gives. I mean, think about it: if Alastor went nuts and tried to kill them and himself in a vengeance crusade, would anyone in the hotel give him a gentle kiss, stop him from self-destruction, and take him home to safety without a second thought? Probably not.

Conversely, if Vox were injured in a fight with Adam and seemingly died, Vel and Val would not worry about him for five seconds and then focus on something else. They'd most likely be thirsting for vengeance on the guy who did it (we see them go fight Al for Vox in 2x04, after all). If Vox was injured and crawling on the ground after being kidnapped for days, Vel and Val would probably run to him, not a new friend they've only known for three days, and make sure he's ok.

And this isn't me criticizing Charlie, because hey, can you picture Alastor nagging her to make sure she eats right? Or stepping in front of an angelic steel spear pointed at her by an enemy to casually protect her, if Rosie wasn't making him? She's the person who worries/cares for him the most; he's earned a little bit of that by helping her, lying about liking her in Dad beat Dad, and taking her to Rosie, but that's about it.

Otherwise, Al gets from the hotel staff what he gives. Husk helps him out of obligation but he's happy when he thinks he's dead, because he's free (Completely valid, Al owns his soul). Lucifer hates him and antagonizes him, because Alastor hates him and antagonizes him. Angel, Cherrie, and Vaggie basically ignore or insult him, because he ignores and insults them. Even Niffty, who he's nicest to and who helps him out, isn't even that fussed when he might be dead, because while it's tempting to romanticize that relationship, he still owns her. And even Vox, the only person we know of who's ever been in love with him? Al gives him hatred and contempt, and Vox responds with a giant fuck off death cannon to the face.

The love you take is equal to the love you make. Alastor treats everyone around him with cruelty and contempt and gets basically two people (2.5 depending on how you count Vox) who give a crap about him, but not enough to even really help him when he's down. Vox treats the few people he lets into his life with acceptance of their evils and caretaking/affection, and gets undying loyalty in return. It pays off in the s2 finale; Vox may have lost the battle there, but he wins the war. Alastor's philosophy, despite rewarding him in the short term with more power, still leaves him broken and ignored on the ground while Vox's family saves his life and takes him home. (It's all very Azula; 'Trust is for fools, fear is the only reliable way'.)

Getting back to Vox, it's clear from this that he wants, deep down, to both love and be loved in return. Because he believes he cannot be really loved, he keeps up all of the walls around his intimates and channels it into obsessive need for external validation. He alters his body and self and mind to be whatever will please people. He channels that small impulse of caretaking into unhealthy (sometimes) one-sided relationship dynamics, because he has no impulse to defend his right to be equally loved/taken care of in return, and ends up getting stepped on a lot, and it feeds into a cycle. There's a lot of toxic masculinity wrapped in here; Al constantly shames him for his more traditionally 'feminine' strengths, like teamwork, caring and affection, which causes him to view that caretaking as shameful and weak and girly (internalized misogyny/homophobia) and distance himself from it. But unlike Al, who is comfortable with shutting down all of his more affectionate impulses, Vox can't shut down his feelings and be stoic and 'manly'.

Vox's capacity for real affection is pretty much his sole 'redeeming' characteristic (by which i mean, positive trait, rather than thing that will get him into heaven), and I think the show is subtly validating it. I don't think we're meant to view Alastor as 'in the right' for telling Vox needing help and support and love from other people is weak and lame. I mean, the power of teamwork stopped the death cannon from blowing up. We know what this show's about. 'Hear My Hope's TPOF saves hell from Vox's pain destroying everyone, and the Vees' found family saves him from destroying himself. Vox wouldn't have won had he through some miracle taken over heaven and become a god. It would never have been enough, because becoming God or whatever that means, in screenwriting terms, is his want, not his need.