Crave
[GIF is not mine :)]
Requested: I was going to put the request here, but I’ll just keep it a surprise… Instead, I’ll put a little blurb:
You were at the point where you craved Taehyung. You wanted to be near him at all times. You wanted all of his attention on you. You’d moved on to having a bigger audience during your practices, but when you were performing, you were performing for him and only him.
You could feel yourself slipping into a healthy obsession, a want for him, a need for him. The scary thing was, you weren’t sure if he felt the same.
!!!!!!
Trainee! Taehyung x Trainee! reader
Fluff, nearly smut but like not smut, angst because there’s always angst
2.6k+ words
Unedited (again, sorry, fam)
Quick A/N: Let’s take a quick second for the sizzly scene in here because I am addicted. Doll xx
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You were nervous. You had no idea how you’d gotten accepted as a trainee at Big Hit, but it was too late to turn back now, or so your parents told you. They had paid a bunch of money, and you were not allowed to quit, even though you were sure that your nerves and your shyness would possibly get in the way of your career.
It seemed like a good idea at the time, and now, as you walk into the scary building for the first time, you knew it would take some getting used to. You were really going to have to open up if you wanted people to know you or if you wanted to stay in the company.
So far, everyone was nice enough, but you knew it was only going to get harder.
You were right, for the first week, your body was sore from all the dancing and training, your voice was sore from all the singing lessons you were receiving one-on-one, and you were hungry. You liked your food, but they had you on a strict diet.
It was two months into your journey when you first saw him, Kim Taehyung. You’d heard about him, sure. He and Park Jimin were inseparable, the best of friends. But Jimin didn’t happen to be with him then. However, you found it odd that they were best friends considering that they were pretty much fighting to be in the same group.
You were practicing singing during a rare break. So, leaving the other girl trainees, you found a spot and had some fun. Sitting on the ground with your back against the wall, you closed your eyes and got into it. It was never something that you were ever confident about, especially in front of other people. You guessed the reason for your coming here was to become confident in it… and yourself. But the point was, you thought you were alone, so you were really getting into it. You loved singing, really, and being alone was your specialty.
In the middle of an already tricky section of the song, you heard clapping from a few feet away. Your eyes flew open, and if you hadn’t been already sitting, you would have fallen to the ground.
Somebody had just witnessed you singing with everything you had in you. Continuing staring in shock, you managed to get a glimpse of the person. Kim Taehyung was still clapping with a smirk on his face.
Snapping back to reality, you get off the floor and brush yourself off. Looking at Taehyung, you said, “You weren’t supposed to hear that.” It came out weaker than you had anticipated, and even after someone had just seen you all out, you were still shy around them.
“But why? With a face and a voice like you have, this room should be full of people,” he confidently stated, brushing his hair back, that cocky smirk still etched onto his face.
You look at the ground, pushing past him on your way to the door, “Don’t make me laugh.”
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For some reason, you couldn’t understand why someone like Taehyung would talk to you. After that afternoon, word had gotten out that you had some real chops, and that Taehyung was the person that found that out. Ever since then, people had been coming up to you, asking you about Taehyung and how you got him to come watch you.
Clearly, none of them really knew anything about your reservation and now your newfound hatred toward the guy. Nobody knew that Taehyung randomly discovered you that day. Nobody knew that you wanted to be left alone and not have any of this spotlight; you weren’t ready for it.
Taehyung kept his distance from you for a while, but whenever you saw him, whether he was Jimin or any of his other friends, he would already be looking at you. It was always with some sort of cocky expression on his face, and you wondered what his problem was.
People started to take notice. You were never left alone anymore. You couldn’t practice on your own. It was starting to really get to you. It was hard. People who had never been shy in their lives didn’t ever realize that it was extremely difficult to open up and let people see the real you. In fact, whatever people would say, word would eventually get back to you, and it would make it even harder for you.
Although you were hesitant, you knew you needed to talk to Tae, so you sought him out after daily practice was over. You found him. Thank God he was alone. However, you found him sneaking some candy. How he smuggled that into the building, you had no idea, but you hoped that he would share.
“Taehyung,” you started saying from the doorway of the room that he was occupying. It was hard for him to conceal what he way doing, and he jumped, dropping some of the contraband on the floor, “what are you doing?”
Looking up at you with wide puppy dog eyes, he blushed at being discovered. “Oh, umm, I’m just packing up for the night.”
You didn’t know what came over you, but you walked up to him and took one of the candies that he didn’t drop out of the bag. The sugar felt weird against your tongue since it had been so long since you last had anything remotely similar to that to eat.
Backing away slightly, you still blushed, your shyness come back full-force. It was just a lapse, you guessed. You wished that the confident part of your personality would stay and present itself more often.
It seemed like he didn’t really notice that it was you that caught him until this moment. The worried look on his face transitions into smug in a second and he kicks the candy under a bench. “Y/N,” he stated, “to what do I owe the pleasure?”
Even though it had been you seeking him out, he ended up being the one asking all the important questions. When you answered, your voice cracked, which did not add to your confidence at all, “Uhhh, I was just wondering why you t-t-old people about seeing my singing that one day? It’s kind of hard for me to be alone now that people think that I can actually sing.”
“Why wouldn’t you want people to know that you can sing?” He asked, cockiness slipping from his face. Like that, he kind of looked like a normal person that you didn’t want to hate.
Taking a deep breath, you might as well tell him since it was basically your reason for confronting him. “Well, I don’t really like being the centre of attention. Singing in from of people makes me really nervous. I really just like people alone.”
He nodded, processing your information. “I think you deserve to be heard. That’s why I told people.”
“Next time, please don’t,” you shyly added, sliding to the ground to take a seat. Taehyung slid down beside you and handed you the bag of candy to take another. You gladly did.
“I can help you, if you want… You know with you stage fright,” he offered. You knew that he didn’t have a problem performing in front of people. Maybe he really could help you.
And that’s how your hated for Taehyung transitioned into friendship.
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Slowly, with the help of Taehyung, you began to be able to sing in front of him without any kind of reservation. Not only was he helping you, but you were a great person to talk to about what was going on in his life.
You were right about his friendship with Jimin. It really was a keep you friends close and enemies closer type of situation at the beginning because they were both trying to secure a spot in Bangtan Sonyeondan. Nowadays, it was actual friendship because they were both technically in the group, but it was pre-debut. Taehyung was a hidden member, and he was scared that he was only hidden because Big Hit didn’t know if they wanted to keep him or not.
You were dreadful at comforting people, but you did what you could. Finding out all these things about Tae made you realize that all the cockiness that he had shown was simply a protection, a barrier, a wall hiding what he was really feeling inside.
Something else changed through this process. Taehyung was no longer the stupid, cocky guy that told everyone about your singing. You gradually started to notice smaller things about him. You saw through his exterior. You saw the sparkle in his eyes when he was excited. You saw the beauty in his boxy smile. You noticed the cute freckle he had on his nose.
You were at the point where you craved Taehyung. You wanted to be near him at all times. You wanted all of his attention on you. You’d moved on to having a bigger audience during your practices, but when you were performing, you were performing for him and only him.
You could feel yourself slipping into a healthy obsession, a want for him, a need for him. The scary thing was, you weren’t sure if he felt the same.
It started to hurt, being around him when there were other people because he was a popular guy. Other people did get his attention, it was a fact. Jimin picked up on your craving for him, you could see it, but you internally thanked him for never bringing it up.
It was one afternoon, another break, when you could barely take it anymore. You and Taehyung were in a practice room. You were at a piano, playing and working on the latest song while Taehyung was practicing his dancing.
You were normally able to get through a song without too much difficulty, but today was a whole different story. Taehyung’s dancing captured your attention. The song died in your throat while your fingers halted on the piano keys. The only thing that could be heard in the room now was Taehyung’s heaving breathing and your laboured breaths, both from singing and from watching him.
He looked at you through the mirror to see what was happening, but you were zoned out on his beautiful face covered with little droplets of sweat and his shirt clinging to his body. He lifted the shirt to wipe his face, and you got a view of the smooth skin of his stomach, all the while never breaking eye-contact with you.
Taking a swig of his water bottle, you watching his throat swallow, Adam’s apple bobbing up and down. You couldn’t be the only one feeling the tension in the air. This wasn’t a normal look you were giving each other. It wasn’t a look that was shared between friends.
Mouth parting, Taehyung was the first to say something, “Y/N, what’s wrong?” His voice came out hoarse, deeper than normal, and it only fuelled the fire you were feeling.
You had to break the stare, so you shook your head and looked at your fingers still stuck, motionless on the keys. It was frustrating. It was almost too much.
It was too hot in here.
You felt a presence beside you on the bench, and you knew that his being beside you was not going to help the situation. You had to force yourself to look at him, not sure whether you could actually look him in the eye without your heart breaking. It was idiotic, feeling the way you did about him. You weren’t sure you were even able to feel so much at once.
If it was possible, his proximity physically hurt you. It felt like your pulse was trying to rupture your veins. Your lungs were trying to suffocate you. Your heart was trying to break out of your chest, crack your ribs, like it was imprisoned there.
You knew Taehyung wasn’t expecting it, but when he put his hand on your back to see if there was something really wrong with you, you lost it.
There was something wrong with you… him.
His touch sent your senses into overdrive. You looked up at him and held nothing back, fisting his shirt and pulling him to you. If you didn’t do something about your feelings in that moment, you knew you would have regretted it.
Hell, you might have regretted it either way.
Your eagerness got the best of you, and your hands tried to get him closer to you. They flew from his shirt to his hair, grabbing the sweaty locks, probably hurting him. But your actions weren’t in vain because he kissed you back with just as much fervour.
His lips were devouring yours, biting them like you were the only thing that could satisfy him. His hands grabbed your hips so hard that you thought they might leave bruises. Moving you, so your back was against the piano, he stood up abruptly which caused the stool to clang to the floor. He pushed you against the keys, heaving you up so you were sitting and at his level. You spread your legs for him, wanting desperately for him to be closer. Your legs enveloped his torso so suddenly that the pressure of his hips almost surprised you.
It was clear to both of you that it was pent up. This was bound to happen sooner or later. He grabbed the back of your hair falling down your back and used it to pull your head back, exposing your neck to him. You were breathing like you had just run a marathon when his kissed started again. They began at your collarbone and then gradually moved up. He was taking it slow, breathing on every inch of skin that he could find.
It was driving you insane.
He kissed once under your ear before attaching his lips to your earlobe. He whispered, “You drive me crazy, baby doll. I’ve wanted to feel your lips on me since I first heard you singing.”
“Tae,” you swallowed, using your arms to pull his torso back to yours, practically grinding yourself against him. He pulled his face back, looking at you. One of your hands went up to his face, tracing his lips with two fingers. They were swollen and bitten and even more alluring than they were before.
Before you could confess anything to him, the door burst open to a flustered Jimin, telling Taehyung that he was wanted back at their practice. Jimin didn’t misread the situation between the two of you either. He was flustered when he came in because Tae was late, but he was even more flustered now. Your legs were still holding Tae to you, feeling him as closely as possible, fingers still on his lips.
With both of your hair a mess, only an idiot wouldn’t be able to tell what just went on. Too bad it would have to be kept in private. If word got out that you two were hooking up, there’s no telling what Big Hit would do.
But he had drugged you… that was it. Taehyung was heroin, and now that you’d felt the high, you were addicted.
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Your thoughts revolved around him. It had been days since the two of you last spoke. It seemed like the days got busier and longer because you were never able to get any alone time with him. It was all because Bangtan were set to make their debut.
Unfortunately for you, that meant saying goodbye to Taehyung for an indefinite amount of time.
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