#uzuryu

anyway

it takes a long goddamn time (relatively) for ryuko and uzu to get to a Relationship Situation

mostly bc they’re both idiots that don’t have the best grasp on their emotions

like, it starts out after the Final Battle. ryuko and mako start hanging out with satsuki and the four devas and at the beginning it’s super weird for everyone involved but they all become friends eventually,

and ryuko and uzu kinda start off from their last battle. even w/o the goku uniforms/senketsu ryuko just hands uzu’s ass to him. but they don’t really hate each other anymore so he’s like “yeah wow ok you’re way stronger than me, I admit it, lets let this go and go get like ice cream or something” & ryuko’s just like “yeah aight that sounds fun kinda” and they hit it off as friends.

so like, everyone’s all weird and still kinda tense in this group. satsuki’s Calmed Down a bit but it’s still weird to go from “enemies”->allies in The Battle->friends. except ryuko and uzu, who are now Buddies.

and they stay buddies. for like, years. everyone graduates and ryuko and mako and satsuki and the devas all become Actual Proper Friends (and satsuki and nonon start dating) and all that instead of Lady Satsuki And Her Sister(and sister’s bff) And Her Bodyguards. and there are ryuko and uzu, hitting up convenience stores at 4 in the morning to go get slushies, aggressively playing pokémon at each other, climbing into abandoned shit to hang out and go “man was that big battle fuckin weird or what”, shit like that. it’s a Chill™ buddyship and it surprises a few ppl (at some point ryuko and mako try dating. uzu is cheering them on the entire time even tho eventually they decide that dating was kind of a weird change and while they still care abt each other, they’d really just prefer to be bffs)

and By Now, the other devas have started pestering uzu about always hanging out with ryuko. (mostly its nonon) like “hey i’m gonna go to a park w ryuko n mako” “oOOOooOOooooOoHhhhHHHhhHhhHHh AAaRrrE yOu NoW”

and uzu’s just like “whatever, i’m gonna go get food with my buddy” and just does not even notice what they’re insinuating for the longest time(much to nonon’s Increasing Frustration)(nonon ships it)

but Eventually he kind of starts Feeling Feels, but he doesn’t really know what Feels they are

until one day they’re like, hanging out at a park w mako and fam, and they’re leaning against each other doing the Buddy Thing, and ryuko fell asleep bc she and mako and satsuki and nonon were up all night playing tekken for Girls Night or w/e (nonon spent most of the night like “so 👀👀 ryuko-chan 👀👀👀 do you like 👀👀 /like/ 👀 sanageyamaanyone??”)

and uzu realizes that if neither of them ever moved from that exact spot he would actually be pretty happy. and THEN realizes “Oh Shit I think I have a Thing for ryuko, What Do I Do” and spends the rest of the day as a flustered mess

and THAT NIGHT once they go their separate ways he kicks in the door to where the rest of the devas are chilling(someone’s house? idk) and he’s like, bright red and just shouts “I THINK I LIKE RYUKO HELP ME WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO” and there’s like, this moment of stunned silence, before they all start laughing. uzu’s like “DONT MOCK ME THIS IS A CRISIS” and they’re all just, howling. eventually they calm down but it is Brutal. like “dude it took you long enough it’s been Four Fuckin Years, ur 22, what the fuck” “awwwwwwww the northern kanto monkey is finally having his big-boy feelings” “DAMMIT I lost the bet, couldn’t you wait like six months to realize what emotions are,” type of shit. but once they calm down they are All On Board for this

but nobody knows if ryuko feels the same way, right? so the devas are like “you keep being buddies w her, we’ll try to figure out if she feels the same”

so they keep being buddies. except now uzu’s a flustered, awkward mess. its ridiculous and Very Obvious. and ryuko just does not notice The Obvious. she notices he’s acting weird but it doesn’t Click. a month or two passes and she Does Not Notice.

the devas are, at this point, Very Frustrated.

and one day. one day. some fanfic shit happens. like maybe uzu tripped over something while being A Mess and is generally being, well, A Mess, and ryuko’s like “hmmmmmm” and then like “oh no. Oh No I Think I Like Him”

and once they go their separate ways ryuko goes to satsuki (because satsuki is not only her sister but In A Relationship, she must know what feelings are, right?) and while bright red, kicks in the door and says “SIS HELP WHAT DO I DO I THINK I LIKE UZU”

satsuki is (not)stunned (she was there when uzu went to the devas for help) but basically says “well I mean. does he like you back? if he does, maybe go for it? just like. tell him how you feel” and ryuko’s like “NOOO I CAN’T DO THAT. THATS NO. WE’RE BUDDIES WHAT IF IT MESSES UP THINGS” and satsuki’s just like Oh My God Just Do It Already (which she does not say out loud) ryuko eventually leaves to go talk to mako about it and have Crisis Time bc Emotion

and satsuki IMMEDIATELY goes to the devas (sans sanageyama) like “GUESS WHAT I JUST FOUND OUT YALL it is GO TIME!”

so now those guys are Waiting For Someone To Make A Move. Trying To Drop Hints. all that sort of thing

and like two weeks later, nothing’s happened, and they’re sick of waiting. ryuko and uzu have still been hanging out This Entire Time. they’re both very flustered and again, Very Obvious. and Neither One Of Them Notices. Enough Is Goddamn Enough, the devas decide. Something Must Be Done

so uzu and ryuko are hanging out alone, mako had to go do something. satsuki and nonon and houka crash the party. houka says something along the lines of “wow sanageyama look at you out and about w your crush, u go dude.” uzu turns bright red again and there’s this Painfully Long Moment before ryuko puts 2 and 2 together. and she jumps up and just shouts “WHAT” uzu’s just “AAH WHAT, WHAT” “YOU LIKE ME? I LIKE YOU!” “WHAT? YOU LIKE ME? I LIKE YOU!” “AAAAAAAAAAAA-” “AAAAAAAAAAAA-” and houka just fuckin, leaves. “my work here is done, bye”

nonon and satsuki are still there like “this has been painful to watch for like 3 months will you two just date already”

in their excitement, uzu hugs ryuko, they kiss, and they Finally Start Dating. Finally.

Ryuko cursed, at first quietly, then let loose a torrent of loud obscenities, all of them foreign. Uzu curiously poked his head into the kitchen to see his girlfriend mightily struggling with something or other. “FUCKING GODDAMN PIECE OF SHIT STUPID MOTHERFUCKING CUNT BITCH–” His brain had to shut down and reboot upon hearing the crazed swearing coming from the young woman. Not that he was unfamiliar with her famous potty mouth. His expression simply made it obvious that he had never heard of something so obscene before.

Ryuko turned around, without noticing Uzu, allowing him to see what she was having trouble with. The toaster. Why the toaster wasn’t working confused him. It WAS the most reliable appliance in the apartment, at least as far as he was aware. 

And he could not stop himself from asking, “It looks like you’re in trouble there. Can I help?”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP, UZU!!!”

As the temporary deafness from his girlfriend’s outburst left his ears, he couldn’t even begin to imagine what was making her angry. However, the sight of smoke escaping from the toaster was enough.

“Oh, crap!” he gasped. “Is the toast not popping?”

“WHAT DOES IT FUCKING LOOK LIKE!?” Ryuko shouted. “GET YOUR ASS IN HERE AND HELP ME!!!”

Uzu only needed two strides to reach her and help her to get the bread out of the toaster.

What happened next was a blur. All you need to know what happened was that the toaster, through the fault of neither of them, slipped and crashed onto the floor. One rush to get the fire extinguisher later, and the remains of the toaster–and the black burned toast–lay on the ground.

“Great,” Uzu said as he scratched his head. “You’re not mad, are you?”

Dumb question. Ryuko glared at him, and he looked away with a blush. “Not at you,” she said. “But you’re pushing it.”

“Obviously,” he said. He threw his arm around her shoulders as if to comfort her, even though he already knew she didn’t need it. “How about I make something for you, instead?” 

She rolled her eyes and nodded as he kissed her temple, making HER blush.