#utss 2018

”alright, are we ready to have some fun?”

Sans was still a bit confused over how he was talking to himself, but nevertheless, he felt ok. They all showed up rather unexpectedly. He had been getting a bag of Popato Chisps from the fridge when he heard a huge crash from his room. Hurrying up there, he saw 4 other versions of himself piled on top of one another. But he’d seen weirder, that’s for sure. How he got the others to even go mini golfing was an even bigger mystery. Maybe a bit of reverse psychology did the trick.

“gee, i love golfing. thanks for taking us here, dumbass.”

Fell was less than enthused over having actual fun for once. However, he was dragged out of the house by the others, and he didn’t really have much of a choice, so he came along.

“FELL! PROFANITY, PLEASE!”

Swap berated Fell for his improper use of language, but Fell ignored him. He’d already been tired out by Swap constantly talking about whatever he had on his mind the whole way to the mini-golfing course. And, considering how hyper Swap is, he was less than enthused to continue to hear his voice.

“more? alright, then. if you say so…”

“NO! STOP SAYING THOSE WORDS! THOSE ARE NOT NICE WORDS TO SAY AROUND PEOPLE YOU DON’T KNOW.”

“can we just get this over with?”

Geno was more than ready to go home.

“alright, you all, settle down. now, role call…”

Sans began to say the nicknames of everyone who came along. They had come up with them back at the house, and he was a bit proud of them.

“fell?”

“already told you.”

“swap?”

“HERE!”

“geno?”

“...here.”

“outer?”

...no reply. Sans repeated his call.

“outer?”

“oh, up here!”

Sans looked up. Floating across the sky, Outer had decided to have some fun.

“good, you’re here. we’re all here. let’s start then.”

Sans teed up, looked down the course at the hole in the ground, and took a shot. Barreling down the course, the ball shot over the hole, and completely out of play.

“nice going, dumbass. maybe hit the ball a bit less hard next time?”

“yeah yeah, whatever. fell, you take your shot while i get that.”

Fell sighed, teed up, aimed, and shot. The ball shot straight for the hole… then suddenly veered left, out of play.

“...alright, very funny. who did it.”

Outer chuckled a bit.

“hey smartass, let’s play the game fair, shall we?”

A small argument ensued. Geno decided to take his shot. Hitting the ball, it rolled down the path, and right into the hole.

“...ha. hole in one.”

Geno gave a slight smile.

Swap decided to go next while Fell and Outer still argued.

“GO IN THE HOLE, BALL!”

Winding up way too much, Swap struck the ball. Flying out of the course, it careened into the main building window, shattering it.

Fell and Outer stopped, looked at the damage, then at Swap. They broke out into laughter.

“damn, that has to be the worst shot i’ve ever seen in my life!” Fell remarked.

“nice one, swap.”

Swap scratched his skull.

“THE HIGHEST SCORE WINS IN THIS GAME, RIGHT?”

The other Sans-es stopped to look at Swap. Classic Sans replied.

“yup. that’s how you win.”

“GOOD! THAT MEANS I’M WINNING SO FAR! MWEH HEH HEH!”

The rest of the game continued in this odd circus act of manipulation, jokes, and a whole lot of yelling.

“can you not, you insignificant slimeball?” Fell grumbled on the last hole, after his ball went off the course for the 10th time that day.

Geno decided to take his shot. He’d been winning for the whole game, and while he didn’t want to come here at first, he actually had a lot of fun. Winding up, he swung. The ball bounced back and forth around the obstacles, and ended extremely close to the hole.

“...im pretty good at this game, heh.”

Swap wound up and shot his ball off the course again.

“YES! 130 POINTS!”

Outer took a nice and easy shot, which swerved impossibly around all the obstacles and into the hole. It was painfully obvious something fishy was going on here.

“you cheating bastard!” Fell exclaimed.

“i think im just good at this game.”

“...why i oughta…”

“hey you two, calm down. let’s just get this over with, mr. edge lord.”

Finishing off the round, the scores went down in the books.

The par was 36, and most of them did rather ok. Geno finished with 25 strokes. Outer with 34. Classic with 45. Fell had 61, but for someone who had no fun whatsoever, it wasn’t a bad score. But Swap…

...he finished with 145.

“I WON! I KNEW I WOULD BEAT YOU ALL! MWEH HEH HEH!”

After leaving the golfing course (and paying for the broken window), the sans pack went back to the home of Classic. They had to say their goodbyes.

“thanks for torturing me all day. had a lot of fun,” Fell snarked.

“i had fun today, i won’t lie. it’s been a pleasure.” Outer smiled.

Swap grinned.

“I HAD A LOT OF FUN BESTING YOU ALL IN MINIATURE GOLF! BUT I MUST GO NOW! ENJOY YOUR LIFE! MWEH HEH HEH!”

Geno sighed.

“...you know, i thought this would be boring and painful to do… but it was fun. i don’t think i’ve had that in a long time. thank you.”

Classic winked.

“anytime, pal.”

After they had all left through some sort of time-space manipulation magic from Geno, Sans went back to do the only thing he knew how to do best.