#utsf

“WHAT THE HELL?!”

The booming exclamation jolted Song Lan out of his sleep. He tried to get up but his legs tangled in the sheets; his body hit the floor with a hard thud loud enough to startle Xiao Xingchen awake.

“What’s going on?” Xingchen asked, voice hoarse from sleep. He squinted into the dimness, frowning at the hazy shape of his boyfriend quietly cursing on the floor.

“Probably just Mingjue overreacting to something,” Song Lan replied. Finally managing to extricate himself from his bedsheets, he got to his feet and hurried towards the door. He yanked it open, a ready insult for his friend on his tongue, but he froze at what he saw in the hallway. “What in the…”

Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, Xingchen slipped on his glasses before peering around Song Lan’s shoulder. He blinked a couple of times, confusion on his face at the sight of no less than two dozen white fluffy rabbits hopping up and down the corridor and around a stunned looking Nie Mingjue.

“I take it back,” Song Lan mumbled. “This is definitely not an overreaction.” At the sound of his voice, Mingjue whirled around, fixing the two of them with a bewildered look.

“Where did all these rabbits come from?!” he asked, eyes wide and almost crazed. “Pets are forbidden in the dorms. The Old Goat is going to have a fit!”

“Not at us, he’s not,” Song Lan argued. “We aren’t the ones illegally keeping rabbits - and apparently breeding them. But whoever it is…mercy on that poor soul.”

“Mercy on all of us,” Xingchen replied. A moment later he dived to the floor, catching a squirming rabbit in his hands before it could jump down the stairwell. “We better catch all the little creatures before they terrorize the dorm.”

In the end, it took almost two hours, four fencers, half the rugby team, and Mateo with a large bowl of cabbage leaves to find and capture a grand total of thirty-two wiggling white rabbits. It took another hour to place the creatures into a makeshift pen in the academy back hills with plenty of food. Later, Song Lan, Xingchen, and Mingjue stood in Lan Qiren’s office and gave their story of the morning events.

“And which student violated the dorm rules by bringing in a contraband animal and performing breeding experiments?” Lan Qiren asked. He stood behind a massive desk covered in neatly stacked papers, hands clasped behind his back. His expression was stern, but it wasn’t directed at any of the three students standing in front of him.

“We don’t know,” Mingjue admitted. “No one could find evidence of any resident housing the rabbits.”

“Likely disposed of it in the chaos.” Lan Qiren gave a little huff as he stroked his beard, a thoughtful look passing over his face. “We’ll have to find a humane way of disposing of the animals before their mating gets out of hand.”

“No.”

All eyes in the office turned to the quiet but stern voice. In the doorway stood both Twin Jades, Xichen remaining just behind his brother as Lan Zhan strolled into the office. He had one of the rabbits in his arms, the little creature nuzzling at his neck. The younger Lan stopped a foot from his uncle’s desk, a determined gleam in his eye.

“We can’t keep them all,” Lan Qiren reasoned.

“They can stay in the back hills,” Lan Zhan said. Even at twelve, his voice already held a tone that brokered no argument. “There is plenty of space for them to roam. No students are allowed in the area, so there will be little chance of them interfering with academy activities.”

“And who will take care of them?”

“The students can take turns. Academy students are required to complete a certain number of hours of community service each year. During the breaks, the staff may volunteer.”

“If they do not?”

There was a stubborn set to Lan Zhan’s jaw. Squaring his shoulders, he straightened his back and stared down his uncle. “Then I will do it.”

“Wangji…”

“At least consider it, Uncle,” Xichen interrupted. “Lan Zhan does make some excellent points. And we cannot forget one of the Lan Family Principles.” The one about no killing on family grounds - which happened to include the academy.

With a long sigh, Lan Qiren waved his hand, indicating for all of them to leave and return to their classes. “I will consider your words.”

* * * * *

“In the end,” Xichen said, “it took a week and an actual Save the Bunnies campaign by the student body before Uncle gave in and let my brother keep the rabbits.”

“Why would your brother fight so hard to keep them anyway?” Jiang Cheng asked. He turned away from the window as Xichen shrugged and shuffled some papers.

“Lan Zhan loves rabbits. And, I suspect it partially has something to do with that one summer he and your brother found those rabbits at camp.”

“Of fucking course.” With a roll of his eyes, Jiang Cheng opened the office window. He took a deep breath, leaned out, and yelled down into the courtyard. “Wei Wuxian!”

Gravel scattered as Wei Wuxian skidded to a stop. He looked around for the source of the sound before lifting his chin to find his brother scowling down at him.

“Jiang Cheng?!” he yelled back, confusion evident on his face.

“So it’s all your fault!”

“What did I do now?!”

“Who cares?! It’s always your fault!”

“I resent that statement!”

“Don’t you mean resemble that statement?!”