Top Posts Tagged with #utcbg

To Anyone Left Who May See This

Hello! I'm not sure whether anyone will see this or care to read it, but after talking to a friend (shoutout to friends!) I decided I wanted to write this little update considering how I up and disappeared for years (and as a fellow reader I HATE when authors do that).

Anyways, vets will know how much I love lists (/sarcastic) so I figured it'd be nice to organize what I wanted to say into one! Also helpful so if you don't GAF about one point, you can just skip to the next!

I owe you guys an apology, and want to offer some transparency (TW: Mentions of suicide and self harm) - So like I alluded to before, I know how crappy it can be to follow something and have the creator go ghost on you, and yet lo and behold here I am, nearly half a decade later looking back at how I did exactly that. For the long absence, the lack of commitment, and at the very least, the failure to communicate these things, I sincerely apologize. I hope the years have treated you guys well, because I like to think that's what they've done for me. As you may recall, my last update post was a bit of a downer, talking about my declining mental health (been there, done that, wrote the remix) and how I was recommended to take a step back from the game and the community. That was of course, with the expectation I'd return eventually, and now five years later... Well, here we are. I'll be honest, I had a tough time: with depression, anxiety, ocd (let's go surprise diagnoses!!), and suicidal thoughts, plans, and urges. There were a lot of days where I had an almost Lego Movie master builder vision of how to put a stop to things. As you can see, it didn't happen, but every day was a struggle with it, some days being harder than others, sometimes resulting in me harming myself. Woof. But, not everything was bleak! I actually got into my dream college, and completed a double major bachelor's degree this past year! While previously said struggles were still ongoing and strong during my time at college, there was another reason for my hesitance to return to UtCBG... That being a deeply profound shame and embarrassment because oh my gosh what was I even writing? I won't dog on it too hard, I mean, I made it and still love it because of that, and if you're reading this, you have a 50% chance of having had some investment in it, and far be it from me to yuck someone's yum, but man, this was baby's first story committment and you can really tell. From the writing style, to the concepts, to the plot (would you believe me if I had an 1800s American time loop as part of the lore???), it was honestly just a hot mess, and so a lot of times, even up to now, I struggle with the desire to see this story through without the heavy rewrites I'd personally require to get through it, which I'm sure fans of the original work may not enjoy.

#author speaks #utcbg

•18+ Adults Only

Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions

Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

Hello is the game discontinued?

I am new to your game and i am already liking it but if you don't wanna continue don't force yourself

In its current form, unfortunately yes. Just a lot of mess with big ambitions and dumb ideas I'd need to wrangle and clip down if I were to continue (which is not off the table).

I'm working on other games in the meantime, though I'll still keep an eye on this blog to see any possible opinions. Thank you for your thoughtfulness though!

#ask #utcbg #author speaks #anonymous

Digging through my old computer Pt.1

In my quest to upload the demo to the new CoG site, I came across some fun stuff that I'm preeeeeeeetty sure I didn't share before (If I did, don't tell me so I can live in this delusion), so I figured it'd be fun to post them!

First off are a couple video shorts from when I was assigning the UtCBG cast 50% off quotes. Here's Varian's! (Wow, feels so weird typing that name again, it's like talking about a stranger...)

Lowkey why is this as good as/better than what I still put out now :sweats:

#utcbg #author speaks #interactive fiction #Varian Halstein #Jordan Sidon #animatic

hello! doing this anonymously because i'm not really fond of being out there. but i'm so glad you're back! sometimes i found myself looking at the blog and wondering how you were feeling. i've been going through tough times throughout the years and your writing welcomed me and helped lots some years ago. really hoping to possibly seeing more of your work! thank you (:

ps. english is not my first language so i apologize for any mistakes

Hello Anon!

First of all, absolutely no need to apologize--anyone who can speak multiple languages is a trooper, mistakes be damned.

Secondly, I'm really glad to be back! I honestly didn't know how things would go coming back here. On the forums I even said I was prepared to kowtow, and I really was LOL. But everyone's so nice and welcoming and understanding that I'm starting to remember why I even did this in the first place. I'm beyond happy that my writing could be of any help to you, and I hope that now that the demo has been uploaded to the new CoG site, that you can have a fond look back if you ever so wish :))

Last, I'd love to share my work with you guys, both past and present! I just figured it would be in poor taste to promote myself in an apology post but do let me know if you'd like me to post my main account/game dev socials and I'll go about doing that! Like I said before though, I'm getting really inspired to get back into the CoG community, even if it entails taking a temporary detour from UtCBG... But we'll see what the people think heheh.

Love you Anon,

~LemonInk

#ask #anonymous #author speaks #utcbg