#usuallybutts

On Pearl's first sexual encounter:

It could have been so much worse, and that's why I was so impressed. Sometimes situations like that play out...just like that. It was honestly one of the best "I didn't understand what was happening at the time" scenes I've ever read. I got choked up, which I fully expected would happen when I saw the start-of-chapter warnings. What I didn't expect was WHY I would get emotional. All things considered, Angel Quartz was nice, made sure Pearl felt good, didn't make her sore or do anything to scare her. It was still wrong, since Pearl didn't know what was happening. She hadn't been properly informed, was literally told she couldn't talk and had to be "good" for the guest, so she couldn't consent. And in a society where Pearls are considered objects that can't be raped, and you're socialized to think "Of course they always want and enjoy sex, it's in their nature", it would be so easy for the scene to have been written out as a dark and hard to stomach.

But it wasn't. Angel Quartz was nicer than she had to be, way more kind and gentle than society required, and that's part of what makes it a weird situation. Because on one hand, well, it was still not consensual, and definitely sill wrong. There is NO way to excuse her actions. She raped Pearl, no doubt about it. But I couldn't bring myself to really, truly hate her, because she didn't even know she was doing anything wrong. The world she lived in said that there was absolutely nothing immoral about it. For all we know, she would have been a morally good character, if only she were taught the realities of the nature of Pearls and the importance of genuine consent. Pearl didn't know anything wrong was being done to her either, and would have been punished even if she did understand and tried to say no. No one could really prevent the situation, and that's the tragedy of it.

On Jasper's first sexual encounter:

I was REALLY surprised that Jasper's first time was, while still grey-area, actually...a little worse than Pearl's as far as overstepping boundaries went, since at least Pearls aren't considered fully sentient intelligent beings who have the ability/right to say no. Jasper is a fully realized Gem in their society, and it would have been so easy to go "Soo you want to have sex? Oh, you don't know what that is? Here, let me explain, still want to try it out?" But no, the Amethyst just...did her thing. Still made sure Jasper felt good, yes, but just like with Pearl, Jasper didn't get what was happening and wasn't able to give informed consent. Just like Pearl, it felt good, and she wasn’t able to think beyond that at the time, but it was definitely still an attack. And it shows just how extra fucked up Gem society is at present, where even those who are considered to have SOME rights are...kinda left in the dark about right and wrong and even the concept of consensual sex. I just loved that, because it was so unexpected. It would have been so easy to just have Jasper's first time be totally ok in contrast to Pearl's assault. But it wasn't.

Jasper's first time wasn't really consensual. She didn't know what that weird thing everyone was doing was. Just that the sounds and seeing them touch each other made her feel funny. She wasn't given the option to go ok, this is what it is, and I can try it, and if there's something I don't like or I change my mind, or just don't want to do it with THIS Gem, I can say wait, hold up, and it will stop.

And just like with Angel Quartz, I couldn't be completely angry with the Amethyst(though I am far angrier at her than Angel). Because soldiers bonding by sneakily having forbidden trysts in the dead of night is normal for them. It's expected. It's just a thing you do, and everyone does it, so the new soldier must know about it and want to do it too, right?

In General:

The barracks story in particular gives a lot of insight and explains A LOT about Jasper's mindset. Of course she's taking time to realize that what she did on the ship was molestation and coercive rape. Of COURSE she doesn't understand what she did wrong, even though she has the feeling that she should feel guilty about something.  She didn't even get the right of informed consent, so why would a barely-sentient thing like a Pearl get it, or even need it? It kind of goes into the "Some abuse victims become abusers because that's all they knew and they think it's ok", and in a very interesting way that's done WAY more realistically than I've ever seen it done before. Oftentimes it's shown with really intense, obvious-from-the-outside, horrific, graphic abuse, as a way to explain why a Definitely Bad Irredeemable Character is the way they are.

So it's refreshing to see a representation of bad practices going in a cycle of abuse that aren't basically obvious torture, but smaller things. Things that are abusive and definitely wrong, but "gentle", that may lead to the victim later abusing others in a not so gentle way . Because that does happen a lot. A person doesn't need to be battered to get a fucked up view of consent/right and wrong.

And the thing that makes this all so amazing is that it is SO easy to just go into the basic tropes. It would be so easy to have the start of that chapter, and the entire fic, read like a long SVU episode that's easily forgotten. It would be so much simpler and easier to portray the Amethyst and Angel Quartz as clear, over exaggerated 2D bad guys, with Jasper/Pearl respectively screaming and struggling and crying and protesting the whole way. But that's not always how it is, and Butts seems to have a very good grasp of that, and is using THAT to tell the story rather than taking the easy, tropey, typical way out.