A shooting rubbing on your back made you feel so good, you wanted to sleep more but your eyes won’t agree. So you opened your eyes and pairs of dark brown eyes already stared at you.
They’re Gray’s.
“Good morning..” he greeted, slowly pulling out your soul. He always has hoarse voice in the morning and you love it. He sounds more sexy in the morning, please take a note that he always sexy for you no matter what.
You held his stare for a moment, absorbing the feeling, his eyes, his warm, his breath, his just-woke-up face. How you missed all of them, you missed the feeling when he hold you close and there’s no gap between you and him.
“Good morning..” you replied, merely whispers. A shy smile appeared on your lips. Then you remembered something, you quickly covered your mouth.
And he quirked his eyebrow, asking you what’s going on through his eyebrow’s movement.
"I want to kiss you but I probably hadn’t woke up for few hours and I haven’t brush my teeth yet, so I’m sure I have bad breath.“ You said, still covering your mouth.
Gray’s eyes glistened in amusement hearing your bluntness, "I swear I don’t mind.” Then he took your hand which covering your mouth and kissed your knuckles dearly.
He always sweet and lovingly.
"Is everything alright? How are you feeling?“ He asked while still holding your hand.
"I’m fine, shower and food that’s I need.” You confessed, you felt so dirty and hungry.
"Okay, we’ll ask the doctor what kind of food you allowed to eat and about the shower, my answer is no. You could slip at the bathroom, so no.“ He said firmly.
Still so over protective.
"I feel so dirty and sweaty."
He shook his head, "we could ask the nurse to wash you with wet cloths.”
"It’s not refreshing.“
"I’m not risking you and my baby.” He said, his eyes were on you while his hand placed on your belly. “No, not again."
Did he just say his baby?
He knew it’s his?
So the baby is really okay?
"Oppa..”
"I want to tell you something..“ Both of you said at the same time then he chuckled. He gestured you to say it first with his eyes.
"I remember..” you said, not knowing from where you should explain. You happened to wake up with your memory back on its place, everything for the past month when you lost your memory partially was like a dream, you could remember all of them.
"You remember how you end up at the hospital?“ He asked, not really knowing what you’re talking about.
"Yes, but not only that.” You stared back at his eyes, “I remember everything..” you chewed your bottom lip, “about us.. our relationship, that afternoon we supposed to have lunch at the studio, but you were too caught on your work and I was being impatient, so we fight, you told me to go home and I did. I met Kiseok oppa at the lobby, asking me to give him lift, I was too upset to drive.. the car crashed, I got an amnesia, partially. I couldn’t remember you, but no matter what happened we kept stick to each other, I fell in love with you, we went to date at Jeju, then I found out that I’m pregnant.."
"How so-” he looked so lost but you could tell he’s happy when he scooped you tightly in his embrace.
“It’s yours.” You whispered against his chest, referring the baby on your belly.
“I know, I knew it when you said that you’re pregnant. It’s just a mind blowing news, I was too surprised and happy.” He kissed your top of head over and over, keeping you still in his embrace, “thank you, thank you for waking up and remember everything, even if you didn’t remember me I won’t leave you, never."
He pulled himself and cupped you face, "You must be too stressed thinking that I’d leave as soon as I knew about the baby.”
And you nodded, you remembered that moment, how scared you felt if Gray won’t look at you as he used to do. A fat tears came out from your eyes.
“I’m sorry, baby..” he wiped your tears then looked at your belly, “daddy’s here..” he touched your belly and you felt how warm his hand was.
“Is the baby okay?“ You asked.
"Yes, nothing serious. It’s you that we worry about, you need to be healthy and rest as much as you need to.”
“We’re going to be parents.” You breathed, feeling so nervous and excited waiting mini Gray and you to come out from your womb.
“Yes, we are.” Gray whispered, leaning his forehead closer to you, “I’m going to be a dad..” he smiled.
“Yes, you’re going to be an awesome dad..” you could see clearly how wonderful Gray as father.
“And you’re going to be wonderful mom and hot wife, marry me?” he said then you only looked at him, stunned.
Your eyes widened as you realized that he just proposed you.
Did he just-
He caressed you cheek, “I know I didn’t bring flower and the ring with me, but I really can’t wait to make you mine, I promise I’ll make it up later, we’ll have dinner, candles, romantic date, then I’ll on my knee and of course the ring will be so pretty just like you, always..”
It’s a yes, now or later your answer will be the same, yes.
He took a deep breath before continued, “I want to marry you, all the things happened and you proved me you’re the one who always with me, so many bad and good things happened and yet you still choose me. I’m the lucky bastard, I don’t what I’ve done to deserve you, I promise to cherish you, our kids.. Mini you and mini me, we’re going to be hap-"
"Yes, I want to marry you. I love you, I really do..” you cut his sentence, thinking it must be hard and stressful being Gray who patiently taking care of you and he deserved an appreciation of how much you means to you.
And there he was, pouring his heart to you, asking you to be his wife, to share his life until death do apart. Ring wasn’t the thing when he’s right here with you, offering his love and life Just like how you owe him all your love and life.
His eyes were glistening, you mean so much for him. You deserved all the best from him, he loves you and he proved it even in your worst, he still by your side. Your three words sounded like the best music he ever heard.
"Thank you, I love you more, so much more.“ His voice cracked and you had no idea it’s because it’s still morning or he was nervous, you just didn’t care at all.
You love him and he loves you, that’s the only matter.
Then he kissed your lips, sweet and slowly at the beginning but when you responded his kiss, he went bold, his kiss was so demanding and getting hotter. He licked your lower lip, asking you to give him access for his tongue. And you did, giving him all of you.
A kiss that both of you ever been kissed before.
Both of you kissed each other as if one of you would disappear at the moment when you stopped kissing. Nobody were existed except you and Gray at that moment.
Too engrossed in the kiss, both of you didn’t hear that the door opened revealing Simon, Jay, Hyukwoo and Jukyung.
"Hyung we bring–” Jukyung’s greetings stopped in the middle air when he saw both of you were busy eating each other face.
"Oh shit!“ Jay gasped.
"Wow…” Hyukwoo immediately covered his eyes but peeking between his fingers.
"Don’t tell us you guys are planning to add more baby.“ Simon commented in annoyance, making both of you realized you had intruders.
The kiss was forced to stop because you had four uninvited guests, feeling the heat on your cheeks, you hid you embarrassed cheeks on Gray’s chest while Gray had a smug smile on his face, greeting all of them.
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Gray looked at you in horror when he spotted you were bleeding, the scene was shocking and terrifying for him. He remembered how you look so weak and almost dying, you were bleeding and the fact that you’re pregnant multiplying his fear. He thought he would lost you and the fear of losing was eating him alive.
Praise the Lord for His blessing, he brought you to the hospital on time. The Doctor did this best to give you emergency help, he said you were too stressed. Also for first trimester of pregnancy, minor bleeding is common as long as it’s just few blood stains. The baby was fine but your health little bit needed more attention.
You had been sleeping for almost seventy two hours straight, you needed sleep to gain your energy back. The boys came whenever they could due their business, this time was Simon and Jukyung who came up right after the meeting. They even brought clothes for Gray since he refused to go anywhere, he wanted to be the one whom you found when you wake up.
“How’s y/n?” Simon asked, feeling sorry for Gray. He knew how exhausted Gray was for the past days, he refused to leave you, sometimes Simon would force him to go clean himself, Gray was really messy and fucked up.
“Still sleeping.” Gray answered bitterly, his eyes were looking at you, longing your presence. He felt so lonely and empty without you.
“She’ll wake up soon, Sunghwa. Don’t worry, y/n is strong.” Simon squeezed Gray’s shoulder, comforting his little brother.
“She’s pregnant.” Gray mumbled, more like talking to himself.
“Pregnant?” It was a fresh news for him, while Jukyung at the other side kept silent.
“It’s my baby, but she thinks it’s someone else’s. She’s petrified, the pregnancy makes her stress and feel guilty because she thinks the baby isn’t mine.” Gray explained, his hand tightly holding yours.
“It’s complicated.” Simon commented while Jukyung’s mouth was hanging open, too much news for him to be processed. Your health, Gray’s condition, and the soon to be nephew or niece who make him feel excited and worry at the same time.
“It’s a mess, and it’s all my fault.”
“Hey, stop blaming yourself. Y/n needs you, your baby needs you too.. Be strong for your family.” Simon tapped Gray’s back then added, “Congrats, Sunghwa.. You’re going to be father.“
"Thanks, hyung."
"Congratulation, hyung.. I can’t wait noona to wake up and babbling about how protective you are about the baby."
"I love you.” You smiled like a high school girl, feeling so giddy when you said the love words. It’s the same voice and still the blurry face but your heart felt so much happiness whenever you heard his laugh.
"I love you more!“ The guy said back, very eager and confidence. Not giving you chance to doubt his sincerity.
"No, I love you more than you love me.” You argued back, there’s no way you’ll let him win even though your heart was nearly explode with happiness hearing his confession.
“Can you let me win this time?” The guy asked again, slightly sounded annoyed. The guy and his familiar voice which you couldn’t draw his face. It was always blur when you tried to see his face.
"Never in million years!“ You stuck out your tongue.
"Alright, but the fact is there’s no one love you more than I do.” Then he cut the gap between you two, leaning in to kiss your lips slowly. He was so sweet and addictive.
When he pulled himself from you, you could see clearly who he was. It’s Gray.
The familiar voice whom you often hear but his face was difficult for you to remember, now it was clear and vivid. He was Gray, your lovable and sweet Lee Sunghwa. He’s the love of your life, the one and only guy you needed the most to be sad and happy with. It’s him and it’s always him no matter life make your world up and down, Gray would be always your best company. He completes you, he makes you feel perfect in your imperfection.
Came across the memories, it was about you and Gray. The warm feeling when he hugged you, his boyish smile when he bragging about his achievements, the taste of his minty breath when he kissed you. You remembered how nervous he was when he asked you to be his girlfriend, how he lied to you about his difficulty to sleep to convince you to move in with him, so he can have a better sleep.
It was him who giggled along with you and Simon who busy buried Jay beneath the sand, it was him whom you wanted to make him happy, you brought lunch for him that day and you had fight at the studio. It was him who told you to go home, then you granted his wish. You left him with anger filling your heart then you met Simon, you drove him home but in the middle of driving you lost your concentration.
That was it. You had a car crash. You lost your memory, partially. But now everything were putting back together, like scattered puzzles, slowly one by one back to its place, leading you to regain your memory.
Gray..
You felt so relieved as a small smile drawn on your lips. The darkness was surrounding you, completely isolated you from anything. Then you heard a voice not far from you.
"Baby, it’s me..“ his voice sounded sad.
Gray?
You knew his voice.
"You will wake up, right? You just love to sleep, aren’t you?” He said again, his voice was shaking, holding his tears.
Oh, Gray.. Why are you so sad?
"I know sleeping is good for the baby, that’s why you’re still sleeping, am I right?“
You wanted to wake up and tell him everything will be alright but your body betrayed you, it was felt so weak as if you didn’t even have bone on yours.
"Please, I can’t do this anymore..” he sobbed, sounding very heart broken.
“Please wake up, for me.. For our baby, for us. I beg you.."
Gray.. The baby, we’re fine. Please don’t cry..
You attempted to say but nothing you can do.
"It’s yours."
"No!” He yelled at you with anger filling his eyes. He was clearly furious and frightening. It was the first time ever happening you found him so angry like that.
“Please believe me, it’s yours.” You pleaded, scared that he might kick you or hurt you physically.
"You’re lying! You bitch!“ He looked at you in disgust as if you’re something annoying and unpleasant.
You felt like a trash.
"No, please.. I love you, it’s your baby. It’s ours.” You reached his arm but he moved backward.
"Get off of me! You and your filthy hand!“ He shoved you harshly, not caring at all that you’re a pregnant woman.
He was so rude and heartless. He wasn’t Gray who you loved, he’s different.
"Oppa, please!” You cried desperately.
You jerked up, waking up from your sleep with cold sweat all over your body. Your heart beat faster like you just finished run in marathon.
It wasn’t real, it’s only a dream.
You realized when you looked around, it’s still dark, you were on bed and the smell of hospital hit your nose.
Hospital? Oh, right.. I fainted and bleeding.
Yeah, bleeding.
Oh, no! How’s the baby?!
You placed your hand on your belly, rubbing it gently. You felt it, the baby’s still there. Your baby still with you. It still being part of you.
Then you glanced at your left side, there was nothing except the cabinet which full of flower and various packages. Usually you loved packages but this time you had no interest on them, you’ll find out what’s inside and who’s the sender later.
When you glanced at the right side, you found Gray was curling on the couch with uncomfortable position. He used couch’s hand as his pillow which make you sure he would have major cramp on his neck when he wake up. He must be really tired to care that his sleeping position was so uncomfortable and hurt his neck.
Gray’s here.. He’s here, he’s not leaving you. He probably have been there and refuses to go home. You thought, knowing that Gray was stubborn and rock head. However, you felt so relief as you realized it was only nightmare, Gray was still here for you, he didn’t go anywhere, he’s not going anywhere.
Tears of happiness rolled down on your cheek, you blinked few times before wiped your tears and glanced at your left wrist, you had an IV. Then carefully, you moved out from the bed, feeling strong enough to walk. You dragged your IV’s stake with you along with fluffy pillow on the other hand, walking slowly approaching Gray.
Once you closed the gap, you saw him closely, admiring the man that you always wanted to fight for. He’s wort it, he’s always. You felt the emotion to touch him. Luckily it was a big space couch, so you could sit on the edge and bend a little, you cradled his head gently, placing the fluffy pillow behind his head then kissed his forehead. He stirred a bit but then he snuggled his head closer to you. He’s in deep sleep.
He had stubble on his jaw, probably because he hadn’t shaved for days but it wasn’t make him look unpleasant. He looked so tired, normally you won’t interrupt his sleep but this time you needed him. You just need to be in his arms and holding you tight.
Seeing there’s an enough space on the couch for you to lie down with him, you didn’t even think twice to invite yourself to join him. Placing you IV stake near you, you lied down beside him, snuggled closer to his chest as you made his arm secured you.
You missed him, he was the home that you always looking forward to back to. His embrace was the only place that you wanted, his kiss was addicting and mind shattering. He’s all that you’ve asking for. Having Gray was the best thing ever happen in your life.
“I love you..” you whispered before closing your eyes into deep slumber.
It felt so peaceful and light hearted, you could sense your smile drawn on your lips. It felt so good and warm as you felt strong arms hug tightly, hiding your body like a cocoon.
Gray’s eyes fluttered to open, feeling dizzy and lost at the beginning then he realized he fell asleep on your hospital room. But when he glanced at his chest, he found you cuddling him. At first he thought he was dreaming, but when he adjusted his position, he heard you grumbling incoherently as you tightened you arm around him. That made him sober in a flash.
He noticed he was no longer using couch’s arm as his pillow, it was already changed into real fluffy pillow. Then he saw your IV stake, standing near you. Wondering when you woke up and decided to join him on the couch while he couldn’t notice your movement. He was sleeping like a bull, he thought.
But for him, it was the best view to wake up, having you on his arms just like what it used to. He kissed the top of your head then you stirred, craning your neck and pouting which made him doing his best to not launch tons of kisses on you.
“I’m sleepy..” you mumbled, still pouting. Not aware that Gray was watching you.
Few days ago he saw how you terribly scared about the pregnancy, worried that he might kick you out from his life. But here you are, sleeping soundly on his arms like nothing happen.
It’s not like he’s complaining.
“Sleep more…” He rubbed your back in soothing motion, carefully not touching your IV. He could ask later, that’s what he thought. His priority was you and it’s always you.
thinking to end it at this chapter but the I want to ask my readers’ opinion, who wants one more chapter as ending??
You walked out from the hospital with trembling legs, just what on earth is this?! This monthly check up was supposed to inform your health and your memory progress not to informing you that you were pregnant and had no idea who’s the father of your baby. You were aware enough that you’re not kind of woman who needed to get married first for sex, but with your condition right now, you absolutely clueless with your past relationship. You didn’t remember any of your intimate relationship and your friends were never bugging you either.
Doctor said it was your nine weeks of pregnancy, then it must be happened before you lost your partial memory.
Could it be the guy whom you had one night stand with? Were you that cheap? Were you kind of girl who likes to sleep around? Did your boyfriend know about this and leave you? Were you that pathetic?
You bit your lips nervously, thinking all the possibilities but you ended up shivered in disgust by your own thoughts. This problem couldn’t be solved by yourself, you couldn’t count on your own memory ability, you needed someone who can be trusted to help you. Whether you could find who’s the father or not, you definitely wouldn’t get rid of this innocent baby.
It’s your fault, not her or him. She or he has right to live. Your palms unconsciously rubbed your non existed belly, feeling that sooner another human being on it. Tears rolled from your eyes but you kept walking, not bothering to wipe from your face. How could this happen when you just got back together with the guy that you love? How did you explain to Gray?
‘Hey, I’m pregnant. But I don’t know who’s the father.’
or
‘I’m pregnant but I still want this relationship with you.’
or maybe..
‘I’m pregnant and you should be responsible.’
What would he think about you? He must be feeling disgusted by your deed, no doubt.
After you reached your apartment and got in, you cried silently again, pouring out your sadness and your frustration. You loved kids and you’d love to have your own child, but not now, not in this situation. It was too early and you didn’t know how to do. For god’s sake, you really wanted to scream but your body had no energy left. So here you were, letting yourself sinking on the floor, sobbing harder.
“Stop grinning or I’ll break your teeth.” Simon scowled from the other side of couch. He was on his office with Gray and Jay, discussing his new song. Gray already made an awesome beat and Simon really loved that. The beat went along with his rap, flowing softly yet powerful. But Gray’s stupid grin was the only problem for Simon. Apparently, Gray couldn’t stop his toothy grin since he arrived at AOMG headquarter.
“Gray hyung obviously got laid last night~” Jay wolf whistled, teasing Gray. Hoping his hyung would spill some of his dirty and steamy night. Well, boys and their dirty talk!
Instead of getting the answer, Jay got hit right on his face. A crumpled McD paper bag landed cheerfully on his face, 3 points for Gray.
“You sly fox, eishhh..” Simon looked at Gray in disgust then three of them laughed.
“I’m a good guy!” Gray defended himself, “I have no heart to take an advantage of her, I’m a man with dignity.” He explained calmly but obviously his eyes were dreamy as if he wondering something about you.
“Yeah yeah, dignity. That’s why you couldn’t stop grinning like an idiot, picturing my little sister naked on your bed.” Simon rolled his eyes, he knew Gray loves you so much but he couldn’t help his over protectiveness of you, moreover in this situation. Gray and his needs probably would scare you.
Gray blushed in embarrassment, “We haven’t do anything, yet.” He spilled. Of course he wanted to do something with you, but you guys just got together and it was too soon to do something more intimate than kissing. He needed to go slowly but sure he’ll get it at the end.
Jay gasped and Simon’s eyes widened, “Shit— you and y/n are getting back together?!”
“Umm— kind of..” Gray rubbed the back of his neck but his cheeks were blushing like a fool. Your soft lips still could he feels, and yes he was grinning shamelessly.
“Whoahh, they get back together!” Jay announced.
“Hey, we never break up.” Gray protested, he didn’t like the idea of you and him getting back. You and he were never broke up, you guys were inseparable.
“Yes, but she forgot who you are, so does it mean she already regain her memory?” Simon adjusted his seat, looking interested.
Gray’s grin faded, “No, she still doesn’t remember me.”
“Cheer up, hyung! Then you should do something to remind her, take her on date which you already did together, it might help.” Jay suggested.
“Yeah, I think so too. However, I’m glad she’s still mine despite her lost memory.” The fact that you still fall in love with him really warm his heart, even if you couldn’t get back your memory he would stick on your side.
“I thought you were thankful because you can touch her again.” Simon added and Gray bit his tongue, however Simon’s word was not particularly wrong though, he just won’t admit it.
You were lost in time on your sadness, you didn’t know for how long you sat on the floor, crying your heart out loud. You felt your tears getting dry as your butt felt numb for sitting on the cold marble floor for only God knows how long.
Deciding to start map out your life, you got on your feet, wiping the strain of your tears. After stood few moments waiting for your balance were back, you made your way to your bedroom. You remembered you bought five different pregnancy test tools to confirm what the doctor said before. He could be wrong, right?
Your shaky hands rummaged your bags, taking out pregnancy test tools. You clutched them tightly due your nervousness, pacing back and forth on your bedroom before deciding to take them with you to the bathroom.
It seemed takes forever for you to wait the result, you already used five of them and now you were restless waiting the result. The doctor said you’re pregnant, but the pregnancy test could say something different. But then you remembered that doctor more accurate than pregnancy test!
You groaned in frustration, still pacing back and forth while sometimes took a glance on your bathroom, wondering if it was the right time to check the pregnancy test or not. After ten minutes passed, you mustered up your courage to go to the bathroom, preparing your mental to embrace the reality.
“Y/n?”
Oh, damn— Gray’s coming!
You heard him calling your name again, but before you could get rid of the evidence, he already poked his head on your bathroom.
“Here, you are!” he exclaimed, circling his arms around your waist. “I was looking for you.” He gave you lingering kiss on your nape which usually made your knees weak but this time you were too anxious to feel it.
“What are you doing here?” He kissed your cheek before he spun you to face him.
And you couldn’t say any single word. Gray felt your body tensed, he cupped your face and caressed your cheek gently, “something happen?”
No. You shook your head, your throat felt so dry to talk to.
Then he noticed something on top of bathroom vanity sink, probably he spotted your pregnancy test tools. Before you could hide them and blocked Gray, he already reached the vanity and grabbed the test packs quickly.
I’m dead. That’s what you thought, everything will be ended at this point. He will leave you right after he knew the truth.
He studied them for a moments before turned to you, “Positive? Whose testpacks are these?“
But you kept silent.
“They’re yours?” He showed them to you, asking for your confirmation.
You bit your lower lip, not knowing what to do. There’s no use to deny because he saw the evidence, sooner or later he will notice when your belly getting bigger. Maybe this was the right time before everything late.
“Y/n?” He called you but there’s no anger in his voice.
Your eyes getting teary, this was like you were being trapped and there’s no way out. You started to sob when you try to speak causing Gray held you in his arms.
“I’m pregnant.” You confessed.
Then there was a pause as you wait for him to blow up and accuse you as a whore. But he said nothing.
“I’m nine weeks pregnant..” you sobbed again but Gray still held you in his arms, there’s no sign he would let you go, “I don’t know who’s the father, I can’t remember anything, I’m sorry.. I’m so sorry, oppa..” you sobbed even harder, “I’m dirty, I don’t deserve you. I’m–”
“Nine weeks?” He asked.
“It’s not yours, we just get together for a week.” You wiped your tears but damn this tears won’t stop coming out.
“You’re pregnant.” He said slowly but his face was unreadable, you had no idea he was mad or shocked.
“I know, please forgive me.. I will accept the fact that you want to break up-”
“You’re pregnant?” This time he asked you as if he didn’t listen your words.
“You can hate me, I deserve that..” you cried but Gray cupped your face.
“Baby, you’re pregnant.” He looked at you with his glistening eyes. You were too stressed facing his reaction, instead of fuming, Gray only asked you the same question like a lost soul.
Tears kept falling down from your eyes, your eyes getting sore for too much crying and your head felt heavier, the feel of thousands needless poking your head came again, this time was more intense and unbearable for you. You gasped in pain, clutching Gray’s arms for support.
“Y/n? What’s wrong? Where do you feel the pain?” He said in hurry and worry tone.
When you wanted to say something, you felt something painful on your stomach, as if someone punched your stomach over and over. It was terrible pain then you felt something thick dropping on your thigh and down on your legs.
It was blood! The baby! No!
When you found yourself looked at it, you became hard to breathe, once you lost your balance and everything disappeared from your vision.
"Holly shoot! Is this real? I mean, is it true? Whoaaah.. Is this will be our destination? Like seriously? Oppa? Whoaah—" you couldn't stop babbling and amazed when Gray gave you ticket to fly to Jeju island.
He only chuckled and shook his head, looking at your cuteness. How your eyes were shining whenever you feels excited, and you couldn't stop clapping in enthusiasm. Everything about you will be always amusing for Gray.
"Yep, Jeju. Our first date will be at Jeju, happy?" he grinned, your happiness was contagious. Gray’s eyes lit up watching you squealed like a kid.
"Very!" You squealed. You love Jeju, the weather was so nice, the view was absolutely pretty, you couldn’t wait enjoy your date in the middle of breezy day. It would be great and romantic date if Gray has the same feeling for you. Though you were willing to know how he feels about you, you already pleased and happy have a chance to date him. Even if it’s just one day, at least you got the chance.
"Let's go then." He smiled and gestured you to prepare your things before both of you ready to go to airport.
You went back to your room, grabbed your usual clothes, make up and stuffs that you’d probably need for stay over at Jeju. Gray immediately drove to the airport once you were ready, with his masker on and not to forget to give you one too. Both of you succeed on deceiving people, maintaining to keep secret that was the famous and handsome Gray who went with you on the plane.
Gray told you that both of you’ll stay in Lotte Hotel Jeju where Gray and Jay took their Drive’s music video, it was a really great hotel and you couldn’t wait to touch down at Jeju then enjoy the infamous great places. On the plane you were busy browsing on internet about Jeju, you watched Jay’s Drive music video as well and asked Gray to take you to the place where Jay drove around. Being the thoughtful and nice guy, Gray for sure said yes. You couldn’t hide your excitement, the feeling whenever you close with Gray somehow made you feel safe and cozy. It wasn’t a new feeling, it felt like you and him have a deep connection more than how you feel around others.
After one hour flight or so from Seoul to Jeju, finally the plane landed safely at Jeju International Airport. You and Gray got out from the plane pretty quick since no one of you had luggage, you brought only your backpack and a small sling bag which could be put on the cabin.
“I’ll help you.” Gray took your backpack and easily carried it on his hand.
You shook your head and refused his help but he insisted and you won’t make him mad, so you let him do whatever he wants to do. He’s being gentleman and it’s nice to see that. He safely escorted you out from the airport and took a cab for bringing both of you to the hotel. While you busy took a picture of beautiful view all the way.
Jeju was indeed a beautiful place, but the most interesting part was Gray, the one who took you there and shared this moment with you.
“Do you like it?” he chuckled as he watching you grinned ear to ear.
“Yepp!” you nodded like a kid.
“You always love nature, that’s why I bring you here.” He stated and you blinked, realizing that you didn’t even aware you love nature.
“am I?” you looked at him in awe, his eyes reflected on something. Was that sadness?
“yes, don’t you remember that time you helped me and Kiseok hyung to bury Jay beneath the sand?”
I did that? you recalled that memory, you remembered how Jay calmly surrenders on what you did to him, you saw Simon laughing his ass off as well, he was so eager to bury Jay’s body with sands. Then you heard someone’s giggle beside you, calling you baby and helped you dredge the sands but when you tried to remember his face, your head suddenly in pain. You flinched at your seat, this horrible pain that always come whenever you try hard to remember.
“y/n, are you okay?” Gray squeezed your hand lightly, helping you to feel more relax. But the pain was still there, you shut your eyes tightly and flinched again. Your head really hurt, it felt like thousands needle poked your head over and over.
You felt Gray’s hand squeezed your hand tightly and brushed his thumb on your back of hand.
“it’s fine, don’t try to remember it. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” With that he rested your head on his shoulder and kept comforting you, it was helping, your headache slowly faded away but Gray didn’t stop to comfort you.
It took one and half hour trip from airport to the hotel, Gray helped you to get off from the cab and held your hand while his other hand carried your backpack. Your cheeks reddened, it was kind of awkward but Gray seemed not to care at all. For almost a month you lived under the same roof with him, this was his first time to have skinship with you. It’s not like you complaining but having him this close kinda made you excited and scared at the same time, how if his kindness towards you was only because he pity you? Thinking about it, you unconsciously squeezed his hand tightly.
“Hey, are you okay?” he stopped walking and turned at you which made you jumped a little then tried to let go his hand but Gray held you tightly.
“Sorry.” You mumbled, not wanting him to see you blushing.
“Let’s go to our room and you can rest there.” He looked at you seriously and you only nodded, letting him lead you to the receptionist.
And don’t forget to mention that he booked only one suite room for both of you, which was mean you and him were going to share room. You weren’t bothered at all, you lived with him for this almost a month, beside the suite room has two bedrooms so it would literally okay for you.
Gray was a definition of the real gentleman, he cared and comforted you not only with soothing words, his presence itself was counted as a keeper for you. He almost forbid you to go out from the hotel room and insisted that you need to rest but you won’t wasting your time only for laying down on the bed and doing nothing, you’ve come to Jeju so that means you needed to explore it since you only had one day. So after little argument he agreed to accompany you enjoy for walk around hotel.
You were currently at Jungmun beach, standing side by side with Gray, enjoying the sunset. The sand on Jungmun Beach was so fine, the shore’s special feature has different shades of black, red and gray grains are also found mixed with the predominantly white sands, making for psychedelic sandcastles and a unique complement to the beach. It was kind of desolated beach, you barely found anyone else beside you and Gray.
“It’s beautiful..” you said in awe, smiling at the beautiful scenery.
“It’s damn beautiful.” Gray agreed then and you turned your head to see him, finding Gray was looking at you with his huge grin. He wasn’t completely complementing the view.
“Look at that beautiful sunset in front of you.” You motioned your chin to the breath taking view.
“You’re more beautiful than any sunset.” He answered without hesitation, sending your blood rise up to your cheeks. He was just messing with you, you tried to convince yourself to stop your uncontrollable blushing cheeks.
You bite your lower lip to prevent your smile and put your hand on his cheek, gently pushing him to see the sunset instead of enjoying your face which looked like ripped tomato. But Gray held your hand then he leaned in closer to your face, looking at your eyes intensely. Both of you didn't say anything and you didn't stop him, you just look at his eyes, waiting for him to do something.
As Gray caught your eyes, he leaned in few inches more, brushing his lips on yours really slow as if your lips will get hurt if he kissed you hard. It was so slow and frustrating for you, you loved the feeling how gentle Gray's lips brushing yours but after he did that he pulled himself and only starred at you as if he waited for your reaction.
Should you kissed him back? How was his feeling? Did he think that the lip brushing was only a mistake? You unconsciously frowned as you think about the bad reasons.
"Hey.." Gray called you, merely whispered. He lifted your chin slowly with his thumb and made you facing him, he looked at your eyes deeply. He looked at you with his dreamy eyes as if you were the center of his world, "I'm sorry I can't hold it.." he said while his thumb moved to caressing your cheek.
Wait what? He held his will to kiss you? So it means he has feeling for you? That's why he wanted to kiss you?
"I just can't hold it anymore." He cupped your face and caressed your cheeks, his warm palms gave you weird sensation that made your cheeks feels like burning. You bite your lower lip, literally had no idea what you should say to him. You wanted him to kiss you again but you didn't know how to ask him, how if he refused?
Just then without any words, he leaned in and brought your face closer to his. His lips met yours again, it was a soft and slow kiss at the beginning but then turned into deep and more passionate as he felt your lips moved, responding his kiss. He circled his arm on your waist and pulled you closer to his chest without breaking the kiss. His lips were so soft, demanding and hot at the same time. You couldn't even thinking straight under his kisses.
"I love you." He said between the kiss and your heart beating faster than anything, you circled your arms on his neck as respond.
"I love you so much, baby." He bit your lower lip gently and deepening the kiss, his kiss made your knees feel like jelly. You held on his neck as if you were depending your dear life on it.
"I miss you, I miss you damn much, baby. Shit—" he cursed under his breath then brought his lips to your jaw and your neck, making you went crazy. His words were playing at your mind like a broken disc, it was like sucking your mind out of your head.
I love you..
I love you..
You heard his voice saying the words over and over again, until you saw a flash back memory; you were at a quite huge space or room with a guy but you couldn’t see his face clearly.
“Can you not being so childish?! I'm working!” you heard the voice, it’s so familiar for your ears but you didn’t know who he was.
“I know, that's why I want to go home! You don't need me!” you heard your voice shaking as if you held your tears.
“Fine! Go home now! You're annoying!” a familiar voice came again and you felt pang inside your heart.
Then suddenly there was another flash back, you were in the car you guessed? You saw a steer wheel in front of you, “I really hate him!”
And another voice added in, it was Simon. You clearly could picture that it was him, "I know you're mad at Sunghwa but we need to stay alive!"
Me? Mad? To Sunghwa? Why?
The feeling of thousands needle poking your head came to hurt you again. You held Gray’s shoulder, making him stop his kisses and looked at you with worry.
“Watch out!” you heard Simon’s yell, there were so many voices buzzing around your head, it made your headache three times worse. You held on Grays shoulder, more like clutched his shoulder tightly.
“Y/n? y/n? Are you okay? What happened?” you heard him but you couldn’t reply, your body felt so weak as if you had no bone. And the last thing you could remember was Gray shouting your name then all you saw is dark.
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"Why is this elevator so fuckin slow?!" I muttered to myself, more like cursing. I was inside the elevator, going to Sunghwa's apartment. After few seconds leaning lazily on the elevator wall, finally the elevator dinged and opened. I sighed in relief, walking out from elevator then suddenly my eyes caught on something interesting.
There was young lady with black hair off to her shoulder walked to my direction, she was really pretty, her pointy nose, pale skin and small pouting lips which made her more attractive on my eyes.
Geez, I couldn't stop ogling at her but I needed to stop. It was kind of rude and impolite to look at opposite sex with daring eyes, I won't be caught and accused as pervert. So I looked down, watching my own steps when she passed by me.
Who is she?
Her sweet fragrance could be smelled, I was sure it was kind of gum fragrance, so sweet and geez— I needed to check her again. I stopped and turned my head to see her but that damn elevator already closed, bringing her away from my sight.
Great Kiseok, you just lost a chance to say hi to her! I sighed in annoyance, accepting the reality then walked to Sunghwa's door.
"Sunghwa-ssi~" I called him through the intercom while I brutally pressed his doorbell. Sunghwa's apartment was my second home, literally and practically. Because whenever I feel lonely and bored I will gladly and unashamedly crashed at his place, as long as he didn't have girlfriend. Because it would be awkward when I crashed there and his girlfriend was around, it happened once and as predicted it was very very awkward situation.
I heard a click sound from the door, Sunghwa noticed me and automatically opened the door. But it wasn't me if I didn't mess around, so I kept ringing his bell until I heard he groaned.
"Hyunggggg, stop that!" He whined, yes everyone. Sunghwa was secretly a cute guy, he won't scold me since I was older than him. I guessed that was my privilege for being oldest, pranking my little brothers was fun, especially Sunghwa and Hyukwoo.
I smirked at him, "Are you in the middle of making out?" I passed him paper bags of McDonald's burger and fries then entered his place.
"With whom?" He scowled and I really wanted to smack his precious nose at that time.
"With your right hand and tissues?" I chuckled, teasing him.
"Disgusting-"
Gray's POV
I couldn't stop munching this damn delicious chicken nuggets for almost thirty minutes, Kiseok hyung was the best when it comes to bribe me. Today he said he wants to crash on my place since recently he felt lonely. That old man needed someone to talk to and I was nice enough to let him be here.
"Sunghwa, can you stop eating?" He glared at me who busy stuffing my mouth with nuggets and fries.
I stopped munching even though my mouth still full with the food, raising my eyebrows to let him say what he needs.
"I'm thinking to have vacation." He leaned back at my black couch with his eyes glued at his phone.
"Whtuudjfudgere?" I was struggling to talk while my mouth full with food.
"Do you want me to help you shove that food?" He didn't even look at me but his voice sound scary, I quickly munched my beautiful nuggets and swallowed them before Kiseok hyung helped me. I was sure I won't really like his help, I swear.
I quickly munched my nugget and swallowed it one go, "where do you want to go, hyung?"
He sighed in heavy tone before he answered, "I don't know, I'm just bored. I need something new."
"Maybe you need a new girlfriend? You kinda lonely these day, hyung. You're getting old.." I nonchalantly stated, he had been single and sleeping around lately. No one of his one night stands ended successfully as long lasting relationship, he was practically hooked and fucked, that's it, no girlfriend and just fling. He was man with needs after all and I can't blame him, beside.. cough cough, I actually did the same.
Kiseok hyung dropped his phone on the couch and clapped his hand in excitement, making me look at him weirdly. "shit! speaking about girlfriend, I just met a beautiful girl earlier but damn— I didn't have a chance to talk to her, she's beautiful and I'm worried I might make her scared if I made move to her."
Heol— love at the first sight? Hell nah, it must be lust at the first sight. He's Simon Dominic for God's sake! I scoffed inwardly.
"It's quite odd if you didn't ask her number, hyung. I mean, you always get girls' number after all." I reached for another paper bag full of nuggets but he quickly grabbed them and secured my precious babies nuggets on his side. Damn, this old man—
"I swear I never met a girl like her before!" he said in dreamy expression, which was stupid and ridiculous to watch.
“Who is she? You got her picture?”
“Unfortunately no, I was too busy secretly staring at her. Damn—” he hissed in annoyance and I started to wonder how attractive she was until Kiseok hyung admiring her like that.
“Geez..”
If he got whipped by that girl, I'm sure this whole beautiful and peaceful world would be doomed. And whoever the girl, I feel really sorry for her.
Gray's POV
"Sunghwa, where's your girlfriend?" My aunt asked me as soon as she saw me, this is why I don't like family gathering. Your not so close family would bother you with unnecessary questions, such a girlfriend, love life and stuff while my parents were okay with how I live my life.
I was holding myself to not rolling my eyes at her, or else I would be labeled as a bad nephew. In this Christmas family celebration I wanted to hold my image as awesome guy, I needed to behave for few hours at least.
"That's really annoying question mom, stop bothering Sunghwa oppa." Here my cousin, Lee Youngji came for the rescue.
She was right, my amazing girlfriend was currently at the future. Which was mean I still have time to flirt and sleep around, enjoying my bachelor life before she come and drag me to the aisle.
"Both of you are hopeless, go find girlfriend and boyfriend. Give me grandkid, okay?" My aunt babbled and Youngji rolled her eyes beside me.
"She always like that, I'm still young though." She pouted and I chuckled.
"Why are you single? That's not how you used to be." I rarely found Youngji being single, whenever our family gathering she usually brought her boyfriend. But this time, she brought no one.
"Broke up because he doesn't want to have serious commitment." She sighed. I remembered she planned to tie knot sooner with that guy, well.. that shit must be really stupid for breaking up with my cousin.
"Jerk." I added, wondering who that stupid and ugly guy. How dare he play with my cousin like that.
"Yeah, boys are stupid."
"Indeed. I'm a man, so I'm not stupid." I nodded in satisfaction, feeling proud of myself.
"But your dick literally flying around." She scowled and I choked hearing that.
"What the—"
"Seriously oppa, you really need to stop sharing your banana to stupid monkeys out there."
Simon's POV
I sighed in bored tone, staring at my phone. There were so many messages on my instagram, twitter, and snapchat. My precious fans were wishing me a merry christmas, I felt thankful and blessed because they're caring and loyal to me. But there was hole inside me which needed to be filled but I didn't know how to.
I opened my inbox and scrolled at the multiple sender, mostly from the girls, some of them are celebrity or idol and the rest are I actually didn't really know who they are, probably the girls that i met at the club or my one night stand partners. This year little bit different, no one of AOMG’s artist worked in Christmas. Jay was currently at the Seattle, Sunghwa went to Japan with his family while the rest were stayed in Korea, celebrating Christmas with their family, just like me.
Just then my phone buzzed, there was kakao chat from Sunghwa. He sent a picture of chocolate cheese cake, purposely sent it because he knew how I love chocolate cheese cake. Then in seconds later, he sent another message;
Sunghwazzing : merry christmas hyung!
Me : you too.
Sunghwazzing : how's your christmas?
Me : good, my mom wants her daughter in law ASAP.
Which was true, because whenever she had chance she would bother you with her where-is-your-girl-friend question, until-when-you-will-be-playboy or I-really-want-another-grandchild-so-you-better-get-married-sooner.
Sunghwazzing : ㅋㅋㅋ
Me : girls are stupid.
Sunghwazzing : cheer up hyung! I will help you to meet a girl who isn't stupid.
Me : who? Is she sexy?
There was no reply from Sunghwa, I guess he was busy? I shrugged and back to eat my corn chips, watching my nephew who busy playing with his car toys, mimicking car’s voice. I smiled as I saw how adorable my nephew was, at the same time I was also wondering how my son or my daughter would be? My brother was already married five years ago, he such a devoted husband and dad for his family which was I found it stupid. He married in young age, I thought he would regret for marrying in young age but that actually never happened. That bastard always look happy and now days I found myself jealous to him.
Should I get married? Do I really need to settle down and be a cool dad? I shook my head and chuckled, cursing myself for being a stupid. Marriage wasn’t simple for me, never. It was something sacred, when you said your vow wedding, you were not only promise to your wife, you promise to God, to stay faithful whatever happen in your marriage. And for now, I wasn’t ready at all.
I took quite much chips and shoved them into my mouth, chewing slowly as I back to my phone. I found Sunghwa already sent his reply, he sent a picture which made me rolled my eyes, it must be picture of food again. I opened his message and waited for the picture until it’s done loading, but when the picture showed I choked really hard, my tears rolled down as I felt the chips pricking my throat and I couldn’t swallow them. Damn fucking hurts—
I put my phone on the couch and struggled tapping my nape in order to get rid the hurting chips, once the chips could be swallowed, I took my phone again and stared it in horror.
How could?
Is that really true when people says world is so small?
I blinked again before convincing myself that my very own eyes were in good condition and they didn’t trick me, it was her. It was the picture of that beautiful girl whom I met few days ago at Sunghwa’s apartment building. Where did he find this girl? I gulped as I read Sunghwa’s message;
she’s my cousin, beautiful isn’t she? ㅋㅋㅋ
Guys, I try new POV to make it fresh, how do you think?
“I want, but telling her the truth will make her freak out. I don’t want it, I don’t want her to pity me because she can’t remember me. If she can’t remember me then I’ll make her fall in love with me, again. I’ll take the risk.”
“Sunghwa, you’re weird.”
“I believe me and her are inseparable, hyung. She’ll love me, with or without her memory.”
“But hyung—”
“Just do what I say, you know it’s hard for me but I can’t bear losing her if she found out the truth.”
That’s what he asked to the boys before he went home to prepare your need after the accident, he didn’t want to tell you that he’s your boyfriend when the fact you completely forgot about him and felt uncomfortable around him. Well, it’s suck but he didn’t have another idea instead of start everything with you from zero, from the point when both of you were completely stranger and trying to get to know each other.
“Just call her if you’re worried.” Simon’s voice and presence inside his studio gave Gray little surprise. He looked at Simon who leaning on the door frame with smirk on his face.
“When did you arrive, hyung?” Gray asked another question, wishing his hyung to get along with his sudden changed subject.
“Five minutes I guess? It’s long enough to witness you’ve been staring at the wall and sighing as if you lost your music master.” He chuckled, teasing Gray. Last time he saw Gray zoning out was when he forgot to save his new music and he lost some of new beats as result, which was pretty upsetting.
“Jukyung is with her.” Gray replied curtly, enough to show that he’s jealous. Jukyung and you were absolutely the worst idea in Gray’s mind, well the truth is whoever the guy, Gray would be always against them to meet you without his permission.
“And y/n asked me to join them.” Simon’s words hit him fast. How could you ask Simon to join you and Jukyung while he was the one who always there? He lived with you but you treat him like an old landlord, Gray was really upset because of his jealousy and he can’t do anything because you didn’t know the truth that you’re his girlfriend.
“I can’t live like this.” Gray hissed, not sure to whom he would lash out his anger.
“Who told you to live like this?” Simon asked back, more like scowling at him. “Forget that stupid idea you-will-make-her-fall-in-love-with-you-again things, go tell her the truth and claim what’s yours.”
Gray shut his eyes and groaned inwardly, felt vacillating on his self-frustration. He had been trying his best for the past weeks to control himself, he needed to touch you, to be able show you that he care to you, he wanted you know that he was the one who you should lean on but he can’t do it because he scared he will make you uncomfortable and being distant to him.
We’re at coffee shop near my store, hyung.
You can pick her up now, we’re drinking coffee.
Jukyung tapped sent button on his phone, informing Gray. He actually sent Jukyung one message every hour to check your whereabouts while you knew nothing about it.
"How do you feel, noona?" Jukyung took you back to reality when he called you and put your ice caramel macchiato on the table, in front of you. You were sitting with Jukyung but your mind drive to Gray and you didn’t know why.
"I feel good, even though sometimes I feel nervous." you starred at your cup, not really interested to sip your drink.
"Does your head still hurt sometimes? Do you remember anything about Sunghwa hyung?"
"No.." you shook your head weakly, "my head start to in pain whenever I try really hard to remember, but still.. Nothing new memory about him."
"Don't worry, you'll remember him. Sunghwa hyung is nice and kind, he's caring guy."
"I do agree, he's so nice. I feel bad couldn't remember him as one of my bestfriends.."
"Don't be too stress, noona. You'll hurt your head again."
“I wish I could remember him.” you sighed, you wanted to know about Gray but the pain that your head cause whenever you tried to remember somehow made your will decrease. It was terrible headache ever. But there was one thing you wanted to ask, Jukyung was your buddy and you knew he wouldn’t betray you. "Jukyung-ah."
"Yes, noona?" he looked up from his coffee cup.
"Can I ask you something? But promise me you won't tell anyone.." you adjusted your position and lowered your voice
He raised his eyebrows in confusion, "What's that?"
"Does Gray have girlfriend?" you mumbled but still audible for Jukyung who sat across to you.
"Pardon me?"
"He has girlfriend, doesn't he?"
He scratched his temple with his index finger, "I.. I don't know, noona. Why do you think he has girlfriend?"
"Just asking."
“Do you like him?”
“Huh—” you spaced out a bit and blushed, making Jukyung squinted his eyes playfully at you.
“Heol~ it must be true. You like him!” Jukyung exclaimed cheekily and you rolled your eyes.
“Ssshhhh!”
“Noona, you like him!”
“Hushhh! Can you not—” you glared at Jukyung who laughed, teasing you.
“Geez, Gray hyung really has a long live. We’re talking about him and now he’s here.” Jukyung looked at something behind you through the glass door.
You held yourself in urge to take a look, “Sunghwa oppa is here?” your unconsciously called Gray’s real name like you used to do.
“Wow, did you just call him Sunghwa oppa? Last time I checked, you always call him Gray Gray Gay~” Jukyung teased and your cheeks blushed uncontrollably.
“Shut up!” you smacked his arm and he flinched in pain.
“Noona, don’t look at your back, Gray hyung is walking toward us. He’s ready to kill me.” Jukyung gulped in nervous, his eyeballs are shaking and he looked terrified. It’s just Gray, but why did Jukyung act like he saw ghost?
“Am I bothering you, guys?” Gray greeted and casually stood beside your table, sending a secret death glare to Jukyung.
“No, of course not, hyung. I— I need to go, noona see you later.” He stood up and brought his coffee cup with him immediately.
You shook your head in disapproval, how could Jukyung leaving you like that? And what Gray did here? “Jukyung—”
“Noona, thank you for the coffee, hyung I’ll go first. Bye~~” he quickly excused himself from your sight before you could do anything.
"Did you have fun?" Gray asked when both of you already inside the car, he helped you to put your seatbelt then put his. Leaving you blushing from his sweetness, he probably didn't aware that you actually developed crush on him.
"Yeah, it was fun." You smiled at him and he nodded.
"Glad to hear that, but Jukyung didn't put you in trouble or danger, right?" His tone was full of accusation for Jukyung.
"No, he's nice and he took care of me." You reassured him. Gray had been looked pissed and angry when he came, even Jukyung chose to save himself with went away from Gray's sight. And you still had no idea why.
"Okay, do you want to eat first before we go home?"
"I'm fine, I'm not hungry but if oppa wants to eat I'll accompany you." Since Gray already being nice you didn't even hesitate to offer him companion, well why not? He always takes care of you, help you whenever you need it and it was your time to pay him back.
He whipped his head to your direction, "did you just call me oppa?" His gaze darted on you but you could see that he actually grinning.
"I— umm— I thought it will be okay if I call you oppa—" you were blushing. Lately, you found it getting weird to call him Gray, as if there was something missing. Also he said he prefers being called as Sunghwa than Gray and you somehow agreed, Sunghwa oppa was the perfect endearment from you to him.
"It is, that's great. I'm not forbid that, never." He grinned, feeling satisfied.
You looked at him, smiling. "Is it?"
"It is." He nodded.
"Sunghwa oppa.." you mumbled but Gray could hear you.
"Say that again." His white perfect teeth were very distracting.
"Oppa?"
"No, my name."
"Sunghwa?"
"Combine them."
"Sunghwa oppa?"
"Let's have a date." His sudden offer caught your guard, "I’m free tomorrow and I want to take you somewhere, count it as a date. You and me, us. How's that?"
Did I hear it right? "A date?"
"Yes, and you'll love it. Trust me." He smirked, blessed himself for having a very good looking face that made your heart beating faster.
"Okay." You bite your lips, preventing yourself from grinning like a fool. At least not now, not in this car with Gray beside you. You'll save your grin later, only for yourself when you come back home.
"Okay?" He raised his eyebrows, expecting something from you.
"I'll love it, I guess." You played your fingers on your seatbelt, feeling nervous.
"No doubt."
"Thank you, oppa."
"I didn't even take you on date yet?" He chuckled and you blushed hard.
"I feel like it will be really fun."
"It will, definitely. Be ready tomorrow, 8 am." He smirked again, you might get heart attack when he won’t stop smirking at you like that.
"That early?"
"Nothing early for a date, pretty." He smiled and started his engine, ready to focus on driving.
You never considered yourself as pretty, but Gray's compliment already enough to make you fly in happiness. You secretly squealed and screamed in excitement inside your head.
"Is he one of us?" You asked Jay. There were only you and these three dorks in your room, Simon and the good-looking-but-looked-sad-guy left to meet the doctor. As far as you knew from them, his name was Gray.
Gray..?
You frowned, wishing something came up to your mind to remember. But nothing came except headache.
"Yeah, he's close with you. He’s part of us." Jay emphasized the word us as if it’s really important message to remind you.
"How close? Like me and Kiseok oppa?" You tilted your head, curiosity took over you. Simon was the closest person among them. You knew him since you were baby.
Just when Jay wanted to tell you, his words cut off by someone.
"Just a close friend." You heard someone replied instead of Jay. It was Gray, smiling at you but his eyes told you the other way. His eyes were sad and lonely.
"Sorry.." you mumbled when he approached you, feeling guilty that you couldn't find any single hint about him in your memory.
“It’s fine..” he smiled, “we’ll get along in no time, I’m a fun friend, you know?” he joked but you didn’t think that way. However you still uncomfortable with his presence around you, you unknowingly squeezed Jukyung’s arm due your uneasy feeling.
And Gray noticed it, he stared at your hand which landed on Jukyung’s arm, asking for comfort. He felt like he was a threat for you but in reality he was the one and only you used to rely on, he wanted to lash out his anger to Jukyung but it wasn’t his fault either. You needed time, and all he needed was patient.
“S—sorry if I scared you.” Gray whispered softly
An awkwardness filled the room before Simon cleared his throat, “y/n, doctor said you can go home.”
“Uyeaaaah~” Jukyung grinned at you, “noona, should we throw a party? Ouch—” he cried in pain and quickly stepped back before Jay hit him again
“This little shit—” Jay hissed, and the rest of you burst into laughter.
“Let’s go home.” Gray suggested as he offered his hand to help you get off from the bed, but you hesitated to take his hand.
“Can I go home with Kiseok oppa?” you looked at Simon with pleading eyes, going with Gray would only make you more uncomfortable. His presence really confused you, you met him three times this day but he already gave you different feeling in each meeting. Warm and soothing when you saw him at your first awake, then you felt guilty because you couldn’t remember him, and the last was you felt him intimidating because his nonstop gaze at you, looking at you as if he wanted to do something but he couldn’t. It gave you goosebump.
“Sure, I’ll prepare your room.” Gray smiled but this time you caught his red eyes, probably because he was too tired? But you chose only nodded, understanding before saying thank you.
Gray bid goodbye right after he said he would prepare for your room, then Jay volunteered to drive you and Simon to your home while Jukyung and Loco excused for their farewell because they had schedule on that day.
“Why did he say he would prepare my room?” you asked Simon who sat in the front seat beside Jay.
“You lived with him.” Simon replied in careful tone, trying his best to not make you surprised.
“We live together? Is he my brother? As long as I remember, I have no siblings. Am I right or?” you knitted your eyebrows as you tried to think hard but your head stung in pain.
“You okay?” Simon turned his head to you, he noticed your expression from the rearview mirror.
“I’m okay..” you shut your eyes, wishing for the pain to go away.
“Stop thinking too hard, we’ll help you to remember. Okay?”
“I hope you’ll be comfortable here.” Gray gave you a spare key for the bedroom and he wrote his password code on sticky post it as well. Both of you stood in the main bedroom, Simon and Jay already left ten minutes ago. They already reassured you that you were going to be more than okay and safe with Gray, he will protect you no matter what happen. That’s what Simon said and you believed him. Gray was so polite and nice, he looked a lot better than the time he was in the hospital. He bought you a new phone because your phone was broken and told you that he already saved his number and all your friends as well.
“Thank you.” You smiled, this time you felt so safe in this apartment. It felt like the safest and warmest place on earth for you. This apartment gave you familiar vibe in every inch of its part.
“I rarely at home, I spent my time mostly—”
“In the studio? Making music?” you grinned, actually you surf on the internet to find out who he was with Simon’s phone. Google said he was a producer and part of AOMG, he made music that make people’s jaw dropped.
“You know me?” he grinned, unintentionally showing his perfect white teeth.
“From google.” You replied shyly.
“Thanks for trying to remember me.” His voice sounded sad.
"Gray?” you called him.
“Yes?”
“Gray? Can I call you that?" you weren’t sure what’s going on you, but seeing him with his sad and pain eyes were very bothering you. You had an urge to get to know him.
"I prefer Sunghwa but it's okay, Gray is also my name. Go with whatever you feel comfortable with it.." he replied and didn’t stop smiling.
“Okay, Gray..” you said his name again and he chuckled.
“It feels weird but as long as it’s you, I’m fine with that nick name.”
And you blushed out of blue as respond.
“I’ll be in the living room, call me if you need something.” He ordered before he closed the door and left you alone. You stared at the big master bedroom then scanned your surrounding, this bedroom was simple and minimalist. It was dominated by dark blue, white and grey which was not your favorite. This bed room almost filled with masculine color except for walk in closet, dressing table and bathroom, they were all white and had feminine vibe. Then you spotted a polaroid picture patched on the mirror of dressing table, it was you and Gray on the picture. He was sitting on the couch with you on his lap, his arms wrapped around your waist while your arms happily wrapped his neck. Both of you looked happy and from the angle of this picture, it taken when both of you weren’t aware that someone taking this picture.
Was he really this close to you?
This picture perturbed you, if you looked really close and happy with Gray but why you can’t remember him? Then you walked inside walk in closet, there’s tons of male clothes as well beside yours. It made you sure of one thing: You shared the same room with him!
Was that why he looks so sad when you forget about him? Why did he say that he’s your close friend? What’s his relationship with you? Why he—
You shut your eyes tightly, feeling a lot of prick on your head. Instead of decreasing, the prick changed into jolt and made you lost your balance. You palpated the air, searching for the wall to hold on. Once you found the wall and door, you walked slowly to the bed and sat on the edge. The pain slowly faded as you remained calm. This was so confusing for you.
“Did I hurt you in the past?” your questioned made Gray almost choked, you handed him a glass of water before he took a sip and starred at you in surprise.
“What? Uh— no. Why?” he avoided eye contact with you then back to dig his food. You were having dinner with him after both of you took a nap, he bought both of you Chinese cuisine and called you to join him.
“You looked sad from the very first time we met.” You reasoned, hiding the fact the you found a polaroid picture of him and ascertained fact that both of you shared the same room in the past.
Baby, I’m the one who hurt you badly. “It’s because you got an accident, I feel sad knowing you suffered.” He wasn’t lying, it was the truth. But the other reason of his sadness was only God and he knew how much he hurt your feeling when he harshly sent you home before you got an accident.
You nodded understanding, feeling his tense as well. He probably won’t tell you what kind of relationship you had with him in the past because something happened, which you had no idea what it was. But you would find out by your own, if he had special bond with you then why he acted like Jukyung and others?
“Thank you for concerning me..” you looked at your food, didn’t have enough courage to look at him.
Gray smiled hearing your words, “you’re very welcome, everything about you always concerns me.”
There’s definitely something about him, you felt there was a butterfly creeping on your stomach. It was the second time he made you feel that way, Gray’s presence made your heart flutter and warm.
Your dinner went in smooth and peaceful silent, you knew that Gray often glanced at you but you decided to not mind it. You wanted to ask about the picture and all guys stuff in walk in closet but it might become something impolite, well.. he was nice and kind to you, asking too many question would displease him, right? At least not tonight, there will always tomorrow.
Gray noticed you didn’t eat a lot and kept playing with your chopstick, “you didn’t like the food?” he asked you in concerned, his eyes warmly scanning you then your plate.
“It’s delicious.” You shook your head then took another bite of fried dumpling, it was your everything. Fried dumpling was definitely on your top list of favorite food, blessed this good-looking-and-gold-hearted-who-named Gray for buying them and feed you.
“Is there something bothering you? I can order another food for you, pizza? Ice cream? Pancake? Burger—”
“No, it’s fine. I swear, it’s enough for me.” You shook your head and added your hands then waving it as you decline his offer. You were really fine, it’s just your thoughts that bug you. There was nothing wrong with the food, they were all perfect and you loved Chinese food. Gray had it right whenever it comes to your favorite, food, snacks, color of your phone, everything he had done to you were completely your favorite.
He scanned your expression again before asked you the final question, ”really? I don’t mind if you want to eat another food.”
Was he always like this? So persistent, his eyebrows knitted together which you found it adorable, the way he licked his lips in nervous and worry as if he did something bad to you. You couldn’t help but chuckle at his question. He looked at you dumbfounded but followed you to chuckle in a seconds.
“What so funny?” he asked himself but still chuckling.
“You’re funny, are you always like this?”
“Like what?”
“This..” you mimicked his serious expression when he asked you about your food, “I don’t mind to buy you another food..” then you tried your best to imitate his voice which made him laugh.
“I’m not like that.”
“Yes, you are.”
“You’re bad at mimicking me, try harder!” both of you laughed harder and giggled like crazy, what so funny anyway? You didn’t even know, but when you saw Gray continued giggle childishly, leaning his back on deeper on the chair board while his arms around his stomach, trying his best to stop giggling but he couldn’t. He looked so familiar, so warm, so lovely.
Three weeks passed and you still had no idea who was Gray and there was nothing about him that you could recall on our memory. He was stranger who slowly became closer to you, he also told you that the room where you use right now was his room which indirectly gave you explanation for your curiosity. He let you use his room because it was more spacious than the other room and he wanted you to be more comfortable, he rarely use his room because mostly he spent his time on the studio. Sometimes he asked your permission to enter his room to take some of his clothes. At first you insisted to go back to the other room but you finally succumbed on Gray’s persistent, he was really caring to you and you didn’t want to piss him.
In addition, you started to feel something strange whenever he was around you. Happiness, shy, nervous and sometimes his gaze gave your stomach butterfly feeling which made you confused. As far you knew, he always tried to hang around you often, even in his packed schedule, he took his time to accompany you instead of resting or getting some sleep. His action made you feel so special.
This morning, you were preparing breakfast when Gray came to the kitchen with his basketball shorts and black T-shirt, his bed hair which looked like nest made you chuckle when you spotted him standing in front of counter, watching you. You didn’t aware that he had been standing behind you for a quite long time.
"Good morning.." you smiled at him then placed his plate which full of homemade sandwich on the table, inviting him to join for breakfast.
"Morning.." he smiled then took his seat in front of yours.
"I made sandwich, hope you don't mind to have it for breakfast." You looked at him and gave your shy smile as you caught his eyes staring at you. You had no idea why he always looks great even when he just woke up from bed.
He grinned broadly, "This is more than enough, thank you bab— uh y/n."
"You're very welcome, Gray." You replied and then in seconds Gray already took a bite, enjoying his breakfast.
"What's your plan today?" he asked after finished his first sandwich and his hand automatically took another one. It’s glad to see him enjoy your food.
"Maybe shopping, since I'm still on my day off. I will go to Jukyung's store, we had appointment last night." You told him your plan, last night you had to threaten him to accompany you. Jukyung said you should’ve asked Gray to accompany instead of him, but you didn’t. Having Gray around you was like sweet torture, you would be happy but also nervous at the same time and you didn’t know why. Going out with Jukyung was more safe for your own mental health as you thought.
Gray's face changed, he looked not very happy. "Just two of you?" he asked again, hoping that he misheard you. You had been often hangout with Jukyung lately, which made Gray feel left out. Moreover you looked so carefree and laughing a lot when you were with Jukyung, he hated that. He used to be the one who make you laugh and happy, and the fact that you were more comfortable hangout with Jukyung than him was unpleasant for his own. He really wanted to smack Jukyung for whatever he did to you.
"Yepp, he's free.. I miss hanging out with him." you nodded.
But babe, you definitely happiest when you hang out with me. Trust me, hang out with Jukyung will only give you stress. "Are you sure you'll be okay?" he gave you a worry look as if going out with Juyung will put you into trouble. Well, as far as you know.. Jukyung is harmless, he’s more like ball of joke and tease which sometimes made you want to strangle his neck because his over joy and teaser personality.
"I will, beside.. I can call Kiseok opp—"
"Don't." Gray cut your words, earning your questioned face. Then he laughed dryly, "I mean, Kiseok hyung is busy and he has girlfriend. Yoora probably jealous if you often call him." he reasoned. He tried to not sound suspicious, but only God and Gray himself knew how much he hate the idea you became close with the others than himself. He made mental note to put Simon and Jukyung aside from your sight for awhile, those two were bugging his confidence and slowly taking your attention.
"Oh right, I would be pissed too if other girl calls my boyfriend.” You agreed, Simon has his own life and you shouldn’t bother him.
"Call me." Gray said in his warm tone, causing you looked up at him, making sure that you heard him right.
"Eh?"
His gaze never leave you when he said, "If there's something happen, just call me. Not anyone else."
