#unknwnxquantity

So I’ve been hyperfixating on Caroline polachek and I fucking love all of pang (initially I was like …. At half of the songs but now I see the vision) and desire (same thing but it grew on me quicker and has become top 5 albums for me). Ima post some favs (like I haven’t already :p but now it’s like WOW I GET IT). It’s funny you can know and casually like someone’s music/art/existence, just to explore years later and it finds you and just HITS AND RESONATES. So many journeys. Yet another example of the endless opportunities the universe provides: things will find you (again) when they are supposed to phase into your life. It’s all divinely orchestrated.

To no longer have limerence and yearning be a core aspect of my identity is LIBERATING!!!!! I don’t even align w yearner music anymore and that’s a gift in itself lol. I’ve been a yearner since BIRTH! Since middle school bro is when it turned really hardcore. Fantasizing about crushes and people I can’t have. Crushes I was friends with, those I was too nervous to talk to, and then someone I did share experience with. I was DEEP in my Pisces south node traits for all my life. But releasing all of that in 2024 and then releasing that last little bits of energy earlier this year, is one of the top best things to happen to me. Unrequited love fucking sucks. Feeling undesirable and “wanting” someone keeps you in a low vibrational state. Being in a fantasy and not based in reality is a coping mechanism/escapism that keeps you stuck in the past. I’m so fucking happy to not align with that way of being anymore.

I really self sabotaged ALOT throughout this year. It has hurt ppl :( It’s hurt myself. I regret certain things I did bc it chipped at the beauty of what was being presented in front of me. A freshly divine clean slate of something I’ve never encountered before ever. It’s okay tho…….. I wish I learned earlier but I can’t take things back. I can’t regret tho bc that’s too much of a heavy energy. I’m just grateful everything is always working out, and I get more opportunities to right my wrongs

Feeling empty. But full. And grateful. This year has been the best. Thank you 2025. I know there’s still 3 weeks left. And I’m excited and curious as to how it’s gonna play out. I am really excited for January tho😭 and to move past certain things these next couple of months (problems I created from lack of discipline and short term “rewards”). But trying to focus on the journey of the uncertainty. The unanswered questions and living in the questions, knowing that the universe always guides me to the answer that is most in alignment for me.

Those nostalgia edits are DANGEROUS. NOSTALGIA IS DANGEROUS. We all long for a past that no longer exists!!! We have to CREATE our own nostalgia in the present moment