#unjoy

i had a two year long art block and a couple times here and there i’ve talked abt art block being scary to me bc i couldn’t figure out HOW i got out of it, it just felt like one day i could suddenly draw again and i like EXPLODED with motivation (which is terrifying bc if i ever got blocked again how would i get out? what if it lasted two years again?)

but now that ive been thinking about things a while and i have some perspective i DO know how i got unblocked, and it wasn’t forcing myself. it was 1. improving my mental health and 2. passion.

i cant at all speculate abt your situation or what you have going on but i can say for myself that when i had a really long art block it was because i was burnt out. the underlying problem was that i was exhausted by just trying to take care of myself and survive, i had a demanding physical job that ate up all my physical energy on top of that and it was all i could do to go there and back, depression was eating me alive and its hard to have any creative energy left over! most of the time a serious, extended case of art block isn’t just a nonsensical “Drawing Machine Broke!” situation, it’s bc you have shit going on! your brain and your body are tired and busy and they don’t have time for art.

during that period pretty much all i managed to draw were little head and shoulders pencil busts of my favorite evil anime characters looking left. that was it. like maybe once a week i could manage a little evil anime boy face. because i’m passionate about evil little anime fuckers! that’s what could get my hand to move. i had a TINY burst of productivity near the middleish-end of my big block bc i was in an rp group for a little while that i got really into and drawing the character interactions was fun and exciting to me so suddenly i was like ok i can do this..... and then when i REALLY broke out of it and started actually producing content regularly again, instead of painstakingly spitting out a doodle the size of a postage stamp once every 10 days, was when i got the idea for TVRN and started it, and then suddenly i just EXPLODED and got it all back and started drawing every day.

but it wasn’t just like, “i love vampire porn so much that it cured me” or whatever. this also coincided with me living with my wife for the first time, which was fantastic for my mental health, and also i had been working on taking better care of myself for the entire like year leading up to that point. i got myself into a position where i had the energy and the stability to be READY to work, then i found something i was really really excited about, and that’s what popped me out of the hole.

all that being said, “motivation” and “inspiration” are fun at parties but they’re not good friends. they aren’t going to be there when you need them and you can’t wait around for them to show up bc they really don’t care about you that much. when they’re here, that’s great, but if they’re standing you up you have to just keep going. you said you can’t finish anything? cool, but that means you’re starting things. all those half-finished drawings still add up to be progress bc you’re still trying and that’s significant. try to release yourself from like, expectations of what’s ~good enough to post online~ or ~artistically valuable~ or whatever and just try fucking around with things you really really like, being self indulgent, and maybe eventually while you’re wandering around in there you’ll find something you’re really passionate about that you can make art about to bump you out of that hole. and take care of yourself throughout all of this! prioritize YOU, not the abstract concept of Getting Unblocked