#uneulogize

THE   AIR   AROUND   THEM   THICKENS ,   TURNS   SWELTERING   HOT   AND   ACRID .   *   the   velvet   weight   of   his   gaze   levels   the   board ,   thoughtful   and   relentless .   for   a   few   minutes’   passing   no   answer   comes ,   not   even   a   responsive   hum   :   fyodor’s   focus ,   albeit   partially   faux ,   seems   untethered ,   unshaken .   (   is   repentment   the   right   answer ?   are   there   crimes   capable   of   going   unpunished ,   forgiven   by   the   greatest   lord ?   /   or   is   he ,   perhaps ,   both   the   casket   and   the   pallbearer ?   )   with   a   calculated   movement   of   fyodor’s   hand ,   a   knight   moves   forward ,   from   b1   to   b4   —   the   click   of   its   edge   meets   with   the   board’s   marble   surface   and   ricochets   off   the   wall ,   echoes   from   ear   to   ear .   thus ,   the   pawn   of   his   oponent   meets   its   demise   with   a   scrape   of   his   nail   against   its   back .

            ❛  The years are but days now.  ❜  And still their whispers are swallowed whole by every passing moment. Could they even hear themself speak? Their words would be taken apart, every syllable every consonant, it gets lost in the air. Why bother even speaking anymore? Nobody will listen. They remember deep in their youth they were so talkative, so enamored by the world. Was it still like that?

It was.

They still loved the world.

             Arita’s eyes lingered on the tea they were poured, eyes of cinnabar red bright yet gentle stayed steady. They did not look up when speaking, instead their lips parted again as if speaking to the cup and not their host. ❛ I used to fear, in this journey, that I would lose all will to live. That the worlds around me would no longer bring me any joy. ❜ Lifting the cup to their face they took a sip, not bothering to let the scolding liquid cool. ❛ I was wrong. I am still in love with the world. But I also still wish to die, for...other reasons. ❜ The deity turned to look up at the figure dressed in white, seeming so pristine, so soft. They smiled.  ❛ You’re lacking reason, I think. ❜