Nov 26, 2021
#Touch #Goddess #Unsaid #Unsaids #Undone #Undones #Writing #Prose #Thoughts #Feelings #Art #FoodForThought https://www.instagram.com/p/CWv92jzLK4K/?utm_medium=tumblr
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#Touch #Goddess #Unsaid #Unsaids #Undone #Undones #Writing #Prose #Thoughts #Feelings #Art #FoodForThought https://www.instagram.com/p/CWv92jzLK4K/?utm_medium=tumblr
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âyou must be hungry.â / @undonesââ.
â nah, iâm fine. â maybe he is hungry, but itâs the last thing on his mind, thoughts too clouded with the stress of how things are going to turn out for him this year. heâs never been more uncertain, never felt less prepared ---- and cam knows him too well to not see it written all over him. he knows that, and heâs tried to prepare himself to see them after practice, as if he was ever going to be able to pretend everything was fine, but he canât. not around them. because cam has always made jordan feel at peace, and theyâre exactly the place he wants to turn to now, even if itâs hard to process what feels like his senior year falling apart before it hardly even begins.
â you didnât have to wait for me after practice.  thought youâd be long gone by now---- â  his head falls and shakes, remembering the way coach had looked directly at him as if he was guilty when she warned the team there would be no personal audience ( just another reason for him to miss his father --- he was always so welcome to cam, always seemed to see what the confidence boost they gave jordan. )  â are you? â  itâs mostly a deflection, an attempt to move away from practice and onto whatever they have planned. â --- we can go somewhere. â Â
@undonesââ, s10.  /  â itâs healing, doc, â  he insists, nodding down to the bandaged wound on his arm. itâs been about a week since the conclusion of a seemingly never-ending war, but it feels much longer for alden --- heâs desperate to get back to their home, back to rebuilding, back to focusing on what drives him: hope. and they all have it now, like the sun is shining for the first time in a very long time, but heâs afraid that will only last so long. the people have hilltop canât keep crowding the alexandrians; they all want to get back to their homes, and alden desperately wants to give them that. Â
heâs channeling his inner-earl, without even realizing it. earl would be just as grumpy, just as determined to push himself past his limits to get back to work, because itâs all he knew.Â
and the wound from a whisperer that spans across his upper arm still makes him feel weak, but heâs conditioned himself to believe that itâs no longer something to worry about. he needs to get back to work, needs to find something to do with his hands, needs to start building and stop just thinking about it and drawing ( too many sketches line the floor of aaronâs home, some hopeful and some failures, but itâs all he can focus on --- earlâs gone, hilltopâs gone, he has to move forward. ) Â
â i need to go back to hilltop. â  itâs not a question of whether or not alex thinks heâs ready, itâs a statement --- he canât sit here any longer.  â need to get you back to your home, get everyone back there. itâs ---- itâs my sonâs home. â  and those words still taste strange; maybe, in some way, adam was always his son, but now, it really is up to him to take care of him. and alden and earl were determined to make hilltop the best place for adam, so alden doesnât want him to have to wait any longer to get back to it.  â i know people are countinâ on me --- yâmight not say it out loud, but i know it.  i wanna come through. âÂ
đ  @undonesââ â±Â  â are you gonna be alright? i can stay with you! â realistically, he doesnât know what that actually means. this wasnât a mission; luther and his siblings had snuck out for late night doughnuts ---  after hours of begging luther to join ---- but this made it feel worth it. it no longer felt like he was breaking any rules or that he was defying his father. it felt like he was doing what he was supposed to do: save peopleâs lives.  and without the notion of a mission, heâs not actually sure how this part works --- the aftermath, the caring past the saving, but he wants to.  â i just want to make sure youâre okay.  itâs my job. â
@undones: whatâs wrong with you?
â shouldnât you be able to figure that out? you know, since you think you know so much about me. â he was never wrong about what he accused her of, but the fact that he said anything about it still makes her mad, even weeks later. the muscles in mikaylaâs jaw tighten as she forces herself to steady her breath, to calm herself â it doesnât work, because the metal of the railing sheâs gripping crumples beneath her hands, indents of her fingers made into the steel.  â it doesnât matter. â
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âStop tryinâ to traumatize the kid.â /Â @undones
her hand swirls the tea in her mug,  eyes focused on that rather than on him.  when pete invited her here,  she wasnât sure she should come  â-  not because she didnât want to see them again,  but because she wasnât sure if she was ready to face people yet.  still,  itâs easier than going home,  having spent the last few nights sleeping in her office.  even that didnât feel like a safe place to go,  all ruined with the stench of betrayal and of mourning,  because the place isnât what her dreams were supposed to be.  and yet,  itâs nothing without rick,  either.  her grief feels so complicated,  part of her still so angry with him,  another part of her only missing him more,  wishing his daughter would have gotten to meet him.
and then thereâs the fact that she canât look at herself in the mirror, either, because even if it was her right to do what she did, even if it was to protect someone else she loves, even if she knows it was the right thing to do, she canât help but to look at it in the simplest, most devastating way: she killed someone.
she breaks the silence,  looking for a way to comfort herself,  to move forward.  miguel seems like a good place to start with that  ââ  heâs someone she can see being a real friend,  and it seems she needs that more than anything right now.  â  how long have you known pete?  â  she can only assume theyâve been partners for a long time,  based on the way sheâs seen them interact,  how well they work together,  what a force they seem to be side by side.  and sheâs lucky for it,  owing her life to the risks they took in order to stop joe,  the same for his younger sister.
      @undonesâ.