#undemonstrative

A topic posted on a loving relationship forum caught my attention yesterday while I was surfing on the net. Here below you will find a personal translation of the two principal posts. 

Title : Loving without being demonstrative is it possible ?

Author :  I've dated my friend for 6 months. We know where we are going a priori. The two of us want a calm and serious relationship with a view to start a family. I'm really in love with him and I often show it to him. For his part, he's not really demonstrative (in writting ou in talking). [...] I don't want to change him, I like his mysterious side. I'd just like to know if it's not uncommon or impossible to love without being demonstrative. Thank you very much for your replies.

Forum user : [...] Your boyfriend doesn't show you his love because he doesn't know how to do it. He didn't learn. There are neither schools nor lessons for that. But there are teachers who don't know they are indeed. These teachers are people he spent his time with as a young child or a teenager. They're his family, his parents. And he didn't hear them saying the words he doesn't say to you. He didn't see them doing the gestures he doesn't do to you. Maybe he wants to because he knows these words and gestures are what you expect of him. Maybe he trains himself in front of the mirror, but only when he doesn't shave because he's prudent. In spite of this, he has a mental block. Because he's honest and knows who he is. His feelings do exist. He knows you know that, but he can't do more. He'd have the impression of being excessive or a liar. He thinks, wrongly, he has to give you a proof of his love. He thinks it's pointless because it's already established. However, it's rather a testimony of his love, because only he can see what he has deep in his heart. Tell him that you can't, that you need him to tell you what it is. Not to get a confirmation but only to share it with him. [...] Because it's your couple's love affair he has deep in his heart.