‘   does that make me a bad person ,  for not liking them ?  ?   ’

dodie? dodie | @tragictm

idk what meme it’s probs dodie but i’m crying | @undeadbcy​      

              ( early mornings were tiring, camden warm and breathing steady, and lewis trying not to imagine how it would feel to stay in this moment forever. days ago camden had said something about them being friends forever– ‘lifelong friends’ – and lewis had tried to not let the sinking feeling in his heart ruin the moment. forever for them was impossible not matter how nice the thought. )

       this won’t last forever. since before camden disappeared ( and then came back, almost as someone lewis didn’t recognise for weeks before he realised it was still the same old friend he’d had for years ) it had felt like that; camden wanted friendship and lou wanted that but more, and saying so would’ve ruined their friendship beyond compare. until it became something more. camden had been lewis’ forever from the moment he was twelve and met a stumbling younger boy, and then as teenagers with parents and school and girls, and now. and now. despite camden’s immortality and lou’s lack of, neither were going to deny themselves this. this being them, together, after over ten years of being just friends only for that to be disrupted by lewis’ inability to see cam as only a friend.

       it had taken a kiss to ruin their friendship and that same kiss to begin something new; something bright and loving, and something that would never last no matter how hard they tried. maybe that’s how lewis finds himself alone in their apartment, never so sure of anything in his life than he is of this. a thousand words he wants to say that he knows will be worth nothing the moment camden figures out what’s going on and that lewis is more serious about this, and them, than he had been before. marriage had always been something he’d figured would never happen, not for a long while or, more likely, ever, but lewis’ mother had asked him the last time he had visited her if him getting married would be something she would live to see and he had known that between her words, she had been asking about the possibility of him and camden getting married. which, lou wanted. surprisingly, and terrifyingly.

       so, they didn’t have forever. forever, in lou’s opinion, was too long anyway. camden could have forever to himself, lou just wanted camden. there would be boys after he died, and maybe a better love once lewis passed and the forever young cam decided he didn’t want to be alone anymore. truth be told, when one day lou did die, he wanted camden to find someone. if that someone was gabe or ash, then so be it. death sucked, sure, but nothing was more painful than lewis knowing he was going to die and go somewhere camden couldn’t follow; somewhere that he didn’t even believe in. camden could have whoever he wanted when lewis died, but lewis is alive and in love, and for whatever reason, camden has chosen him. and, for so many reasons, lewis has chosen camden.

how far did u go back in my meme tag i couldn’t find this wtf | @undeadbcy

       ❛  how about when i’m less drunk? ❜ the tone lacks sincerity, cautious eyes glancing at the other. through a haze, he can feel gabe’s stare, almost feel the silence between them thicken. it was a joke, maybe, but something about it feels different from the flippant offers eldon has given others; hands tight on cam’s arms, eighteen and desperate for love, and lou’s curious words when eldon asked if he wanted to make out. maybe it’s because gabriel said it like it was nothing but eldon would take him up on that any day of the week; gabriel is cute and funny, and eldon is alone. almost painfully so.

       ❛  or, when you’re sober enough to think this through and it’s not just a joke to you– i don’t want it to be a joke. ❜ desperation lacing his words, he offers a weak smile, fingers playing with the thread of his sweater. ❛  i’ll let you think about it. if we’re sober tomorrow and you still want to, i’ll take you up on your offer. if not, i’ll probably gonna drink enough later that i won’t remember this so, what does it matter? either that or you kiss me now. up to you. ❜

dont do this?? cam loves him and cam is gonna go up 2 William and say ‘hey ur an asshole i love ur son he’s my son now"