#unctuousness

Hi Sebastian! There will be showers this afternoon – be sure to take an umbrella. Your hair is important to us in ways we can’t define. We want you to be at your best, even if you’re an enemy of the Republic.

Sebastian, Martin Shkreli’s friend request is waiting for your response.

Sebastian, it’s going to be chilly tomorrow – remember to wear a warm overcoat. Oh, and could you perhaps delete your “Historical Order of Vitez” page? The group has a Nazi rep we’re trying to steer away from.  

Congratulations! Did you enjoy that burst of balloons and streamers, Sebastian? We do these things because we want you to feel good, because if you feel good maybe you won’t harm others. It’s a hope, it’s not a system, we admit.

Reputed Nazi sympathizer though you are, Sebastian,we want to wish you Chag Sameach for Passover. Enjoy this collection of photographs showing you writing anti-Semitic editorials for Breitbart.

Sebastian, would you like to link your comment about the primacy of the white race with the new cologne from Armani, Magnum Albino?

Hi, Sebastian! Don’t forget to bring an umbrella and also your Hungarian passport. There’s rain in the forecast and the FBI in the neighborhood.