#unclekage

Happy Birthday Uncle Kage.

Uncle Kage

Uncle Kage

This is a story transcribed from AC2016′s StoryHour. I’ve attempted to keep all the original wording in the story as well write this in such a way that I might convey those special spoke nuisances that Kage uses so well. So, here we go.

*Uncle Kage arrives on stage with a tall bottle of wine. He motions that he has forgotten something (perhaps a glass?) and hurries of stage. Meanwhile a stage hand swiftly switches the one tall battle of wine, to a tall bottle of water.*

Uncle Kage returns, “Prohibition they say. Yeah, the board of directors wanted to stick to the theme. *exasperated sigh* Alright, alright. They do not seem to understand just how difficult this job is and how the chairman needs a little -um- assistance now and then, shall we say?”

We had a problem last year. I cannot honestly remember if I mentioned this last year or not but its worth mentioning again just because it was so much fun. Last year, when we arrived at Anthrocon, by we I mean myself and my hard working logistics crew. We showed up at Anthrocon on Tuesday night, it was very very late. It was 11 p.m. I was exhausted… a long drive from North Carolina I just wanted to go to sleep but I didn’t want to go to sleep without a little assistance getting myself to the arms of Morphesus.

I went to the bar, good ole’ Bill’s Burgers down their in the West end and I sat down. Now this was the first year that Bill Burger’s had been in operation. Remember the Original Fish Market? The Original Fish Market has a wine list  that had it’s own zipcode! It was great. Bill’s Burgers- lovely establishment- but their wine paragraph is not very long. Fortunately, the very very first wine on there- everyone knows my favorite a very very fine German Reisiling I looked at down at the paragraph and said- “Ooo yes -that-!”

And the waiter came over and I said, “I want th-the German. The German Resiling. The one in the beginning. I must have that. BRING IT TO ME!” And he with a big smile on its face said, “Oh, we’re out of that, we won’t have any of that until next week.”