UNBELEAFABLE! EDGY BOYS WRITE USING CAPS LOCK AND LOTS OF EXCLAMATION MARKS JUST LIKE GREAT JOURNALISTS DO! [META!] [TEMPORARY TITLE!] [PIC FOR ATTENTION!]
HELLO AND WELCOME TO 'UNBELEAFABLE!'! THE ONLY NEWS OUTLET WHERE THE PLAUSIBLE AND THE FACTUAL ARE TREATED FAIRLY AND EQUALLY! TODAY WE ARE ONCE AGAIN SPREADING INFORMATION* AND FACTS* IN THE ANNOYING AND UNCURATED FASHION THAT SETS US APART! STARTING OFF WITH!
. LEAF! HITS PUBERTY AND WANTS TO TURN THE PAGE AND THEN BURN THE WHOLE BOOK! COINCIDENTALLY! KEVIN ABSTRACT COMPLETELY REVAMPS HIS STYLE IN 4TH SOLO ALBUM BLANKET! NOW! IS THIS ALL PART OF THE GREATER EVEREVOLVING STATE OF NATURE?! DOES FATE HAVE ANY REGARD FOR OUR DESIRES AND CONCERNS AT ALL?! AND DOES THE MOVIE MOTHER! JUST KINDA SUCK?! [HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BELIEVE JAVIER BARDEM IS A POET WHEN EVERY LINE OF HIS SOUNDS LIKE IT CAME OUT OF AN ELEMENTARY SCHOOLER'S TINY SKULL?!]
. LEAF! ANNOUNCES HE'S LOOKING FORWARD TO WRITING MORE NARRATIVE FICS IN THE FUTURE! SURELY HE'S NOT COMPLETELY SACRIFICING THE SMUT FOR THAT?! THAT'S NOT WHAT WE'RE SAYING BUT IS IT ACTUALLY?!
. #NOTSPONSORED! #SERIOUSLY! #NOTANAD! AND NOW! A SEGMENT TOTALLY LIKE THE OTHERS! NOT ANY DIFFERENCE WITH ANYTHING WE USUALLY DO! JUST NEWS! NOTHING ELSE!
QUIT WHATEVER YOU'RE DOING AND GO LISTEN TO THIS ABSOLUTE MOOD OF AN ALBUM! NOW! #WESWEARWEARENOTGETTINGPAIDFORTHIS!
. LEAF!'S REMAINING KINKTOBER FICS FOUND DEAD IN THE DRAFT DUNGEON! WILL THEY COME BACK FROM THE DEAD WHENEVER LEAF! FEELS LIKE WRITING A PWP FIC OR REMAIN FORGOTTEN FOR GOOD?!
. WE JUST NOTICED AFTER AN ENTIRE MONTH OF POSTING THAT ALL OF LEAF!'S FICS HAVE THEIR TITLE IN BOLDED BECAUSE THAT'S HOW HE WRITES IT IN GOOGLE DOCS AND THEN HIS LAZY ASS JUST CTRL+C-CTRL+V'S THE ENTIRE THING WITH NO SECOND THOUGHT! WILL HE CHANGE THAT FOR AESTHETIC PURPOSES?! WILL HE LEAVE THEM LIKE THIS BECAUSE IT'S TOO MUCH OF A HASSLE?! IS THE REVIVAL OF Y2K FASHION AND VISUALS ALREADY A DEAD TREND?!
. LEAF! ANNOUNCES HE'S THINKING OF UPLOADING ALL HIS WORKS ON AO3 DESPITE THE TAGGING PROCESS BEING INCREDIBLY AND NEEDLESSLY TEDIOUS ON THAT SITE! WOULD THAT BE ANY HELPFUL FOR ANYONE?! AT ALL?! IS HE JUST GOING TO DO IT ANYWAY?!
. AND FINALLY! RUMORS OF WHAT WOULD BE A SHOCKING BREAKUP BETWEEN ADVERBS AND LEAF! WHAT DO YOU THINK WILL HAPPEN?!
LEAF! WILL!
LEAVE [OR LEAF! HAHA SORRY I'LL SEE MYSELF OUT] EVERYTHING AS IT IS!
ONLY USE [THIS MANIPULATIVE PIECE OF SHIT!] ADVERBS IN HIS SIGNATURE!
LOSE THOSE! KEEP THE ADVERB IN THE BLOG TITLE! CLOSEST TO HIS HEART AND PENIS!
LOSE THAT SIGNATURE TOO CAUSE FUCK FORM AND FUCK FORMALITIES! KEEP BLOG TITLE!
FORGET ABOUT ADVERBS ALTOGETHER AND MOVE ON TO GREENER PASTURES!
Voting ended onNov 10, 2023
LEAVE YOUR VERY NECESSARY AND APPRECIATED THOUGHTS DOWN IN THE COMMENTS FOR ENGAGEMENT! WE'LL MAKE SURE TO READ ALL OF THEM! THE EFFECT OF YOUR OPINIONS ON THE COURSE OF HISTORY IS WITHIN THE REALMS OF POSSIBILITY! BUT NOT GUARANTEED! UNBELEAFABLE! MORE NEWS! AT SOME POINT DOWN THE LINE!
*the claims can only be found in unreliable sources or cannot be found in any sources at all. as of 2023, UNBELEAFABLE! does not require, and has never required, an inline citation for all material. uncited does not mean unverifiable.
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