#umm..

Steve just needed Neal to show up and do his part. He needed him to be a professional, because in all the years working together, Neal had shown him he was responsible when it came to the band. But when Neal walked into the studio that night, Steve took one look at him and felt his stomach drop.

He was drunk.

Neal wasn’t tripping or slurring, but Steve had known him long enough to see it in his eyes. His usual energy wasn’t there, something reckless and wild was threatening to replace it.

Steve sighed, closing his eyes. “Jesus, Neal.”

Neal just smirked.

They were supposed to be recording his solos. Steve was too tired for this, between the album and traveling back and forth to see his mom. The last thing he needed was to deal with Neal showing up like this.

Steve shook his head. “I can see you’re not gonna be good for anything today.”

Neal’s smirk disappeared.

For a second, Steve thought he might just leave. Instead, Neal grabbed his guitar, quickly getting everything ready before starting to play his solo.

And he nailed it on the first take.

The room fell silent after he finished. Steve clenched his jaw. He hated that Neal had just proved him wrong, hated the look on Neal's face. And he really hated that it was as good as ever.

"Happy?" Neal asked, putting his guitar away.

Steve didn’t answer. He turned away, pretending to look at the notes in front of him, anything to avoid admitting Neal had won. He wanted him to just leave so this could be over.

But Neal didn’t leave.

Steve could feel him still standing there, close and clearly staring. The tension in the room was palpable.

Suddenly, Neal broke the silence.

“So that 's it? You’re just gonna act like I don’t exist now?”

Steve hummed, like he wasn’t paying attention.

It was the wrong move. The next thing he knew, Neal’s hand was around his arm, yanking him around.

Steve tensed. “Neal-”

Neal pushed him back hard enough so that Steve’s back hit the wall. Steve’s hands went up, shoving against Neal’s chest, but Neal managed to grab both of Steve’s arms this time, he kept him in place.

Steve’s heart pounded, his frustration rising. “Let go.”

Neal didn’t. He held him there, staring like he was waiting for something. An apology?

Steve wasn’t giving him one.

Neal’s grip was too tight. Steve tried to break free again, but Neal was stronger. His eyes locked with Steve’s with an intensity that was almost scary.

“Let go,” Steve snapped again, his body tense.

Neal didn’t listen. He stepped closer, pressing Steve back against the wall, using his weight to hold him there. “You’re a controlling bitch, you know that?” Neal’s voice was rough and there was something dark in it. “You always gotta have it your way. Pushing people around like you have the right.”

Steve shoved at him again, but Neal barely felt it. “Get the fuck off me.”

“You don’t really want that,” Neal murmured, voice dropping. His nose brushed against Steve’s jaw making Steve’s skin burn. “I know what you need.”

Steve shook his head, trying to get away, but Neal’s fingers tightened against his sides. The heat, the weight of Neal against him… it was making him react in ways that he didn’t want to deal with. But they’d known each other too long. The silence between them spoke more than any words could.

Neal groaned softly, probably feeling something, seeing more than Steve wanted to show.

“Fuck you,” Steve said, voice rough, but he wasn’t pushing him away anymore.

Neal let out a humorless laugh and just as quickly he was spinning Steve around and pressing him forward against an amp. Steve managed to put his hands down against the surface, his body stretched tight as Neal stepped in behind him, his breath hot against Steve’s ear.

“I’m gonna help you,” Neal whispered as his hips pressed forward against Steve’s ass. “I know you… know you want to let go. To have someone take control.”

Steve's breath was ragged, he could feel a wave of heat rushing over his body. “Let me go,” he muttered for the third time, but it sounded weak even to him. He was trembling but it wasn’t fear. He wanted it.

Neal pushed Steve forward, forcing his chest down against the amp. The roughness of the movement made Steve freeze on the spot. Neal was leaning down over him, his chest pressing against Steve’s back.

“Say it,” Neal murmured, his voice low but desperate. “Say you need this.”

Steve bit his lip, refusing to answer, but his body was betraying him. Neal's hand moved over his jeans, pressing and rubbing against his crotch, until Steve let out a broken moan he couldn’t stop. He wanted this and Neal knew it. Neal knew he not only wanted it, but needed it…to let go, to release that weight that he had been carrying around for far too long. And Neal, wild and reckless, was the one who could help him. But he couldn’t tell him that... and maybe it wasn't necessary now.

Neal groaned behind him. “That’s what I thought.”

His fingers worked Steve’s jeans open, it was quick and soon he was pulling them down along with his underwear. The cold air against his exposed skin made Steve shiver. He squeezed his eyes shut, knowing exactly how Neal was looking at him, how he was taking in the sight.

Then Neal’s hands were on him, gripping his cheeks and spreading them apart, his touch was rough and possessive. Neal let out a low noise while he watched him, it sounded wild and Steve’s hips twitched as he heard the sound of Neal’s belt coming loose, the anticipation was making his heart pound in his chest.

The touch of Neal’s cock against his hole made Steve flinch. The sensation was sudden, familiar but new at the same time. Neal had him in his grip while he kept dragging his dick along Steve’s cleft and pressing slightly against his rim. Steve’s fingers grabbed the edge of the amp, his body was a mess of conflicting reactions: tension, heat, panic, need.

The next movement was harder, the head of Neal’s cock trying to push inside. Steve felt fear for a moment. Was Neal so lost in this? Drunk or angry enough to just try and push inside without any prep? Steve’s entire body went rigid, he needed to stop this before it went too far.

But then Neal pressed a hand against his back, keeping him still.

“It’s okay,” Neal said, his voice suddenly softer. He sounded broken and needy, the reassurance coupled with that tone… fear was quickly replaced with need. Steve bit his lip as he heard Neal spit, soon enough he felt one of his fingers against his hole.

The stretch burned, but Steve didn’t pull away. He didn’t want to. If they stopped now, if he was given enough time to think, he knew he wouldn’t go through with it. And he needed this… he needed the pain, needed Neal, needed to stop being in control for just a moment.

One finger became two, pushing deeper, working him open, the mix of pleasure and pain made Steve’s hips twitch. He hated how much he wanted it. He hated that Neal knew exactly how to touch him, how to pull the sounds out of him.

Neal groaned behind him, his hips pressing against the back of Steve’s thigh, his cock leaking and looking for friction. Steve wanted him inside, but he couldn’t say it, he couldn’t ask for it. But apparently he didn’t have to; the fingers disappeared, replaced by the thick pressure of Neal’s cock. The head pushed inside too fast, making Steve gasp. He reached back, his hand gripping Neal’s hip, silently asking for a moment to adjust.

Neal’s fingers wrapped around his wrist, but then he pushed forward again, burying himself deeper. Steve let out a broken sound, his forehead falling against the amp. It was too much but at the same time, not enough.

Neal was balls deep now but his hips remained still, his hands touching Steve’s body all over. Slowly, Steve let himself relax around the intrusion. A long moment passed and nothing else happened. Neal seemed to be waiting for something.

“Come on,” Neal said, his voice full of lust. “Say you need it. Say you need a good fuck.”

Steve bit his lip, shaking his head.

“I could just pull out, leave you like this. Find someone else to use.” Neal’s warning wasn’t subtle.

The crude words sent a new rush of heat through Steve’s body. He didn’t want anyone else touching Neal. And he didn’t want Neal to stop.

The second he felt Neal start to pull out, Steve whispered. “Fuck me.”

Neal stopped. “Yeah?”

Steve nodded, his eyes getting glassy.

Neal pulled out almost completely before slamming back in, the force punching the air out from Steve’s lungs. He didn’t bother trying to keep quiet anymore.

Neal fucked him hard, fast, and merciless. The pounding was ruthless and Steve felt the amp moving underneath with every thrust. Steve barely lasted a few minutes, it had been way too long since the last time and the sensations were overwhelming. His legs gave out, his vision blurred and soon enough his orgasm hit him like a train, coming untouched as Neal fucked him through it.

He barely registered Neal’s grunts behind him, the way he cursed as he felt Steve’s body clenching around him. He came a minute later but kept moving, slower, enjoying every last second of the sensation before finally pulling away.

“There you go,” Neal said, his voice rough as he slapped Steve’s ass. “Hope you’re happy now.”