#ultitxt

While i wait to take a shower, am gonna write this thing that has been rounding my head for a while, so:

Xie lian is a nurse that works in a really small, really run down hospital that mantains itself through donations. The boss is Jun Wu and other workers are MQ, FX, SQX, LW and some others.

XL used to study to be a doctor, his family was well off, but stuff happened and they died, and since he had no family who wanted to take care of him and he was +18, he dropped out and worked as whatever came his way to survive.

He lives in a crappy appartment with his Persian cat RuoYe, who lives better than him, honestly.

So, one day after work he wanders through some alleys and, by chance, finds a guy that has been stabbed, and because he has no sense of self-preservation, he brings him home.

In the light of his crappy lamps, he sees that the guy is actually a handsome man, and proceeds to treat his wound and take care of him.

The dude, called Hua Cheng, thanks him and stuff and tells him he was just careless this time, then leaves.

Turns out HC is a 'good' mafia boss who had been tricked by a double agent, HX, causing him to be mad for a while and not pay attention, thus getting stabbed.

After XL took care of him he couldn't stop thinking about him, and asked for advice on how to approach him. The ideas given where useless and so he thought 'i guess I'll go get stabbed again'.

Cue HC getting hurt on purpose in the most stupid of ways only to get close to XL, who is as oblivious as a brick and only thinks HC works in something really dangerous.

HC said he was a stuntman with many enemies.

XL didn't pry.

So XL and HC met more and more to the point xl considered him a friend, and so at one point hc knew of his job.

The next day soemone had donated a good amount of money to the hospital under the name sang lang.

For once, xl one brain cell worked, and he knew it was hc, so he, flustered but happy, ran away to thank him in person. Hc had fiven him the adress of the bulding in which he 'made business', so he went there.

When he arrives there are people making trouble at the door, and he's gonna ignore them and go in but then hears a voice from long ago.

His cousin Qi Rong is there, being a little bitch, and xl, who had been searching 4 him 4 a long time cracks his knuckles and calls his name.

Turns out that when younger, his cousin had run amok with bad crowds, and because he made trouble with a local mafia and his life was in danger, he sold xl's family while he ran away with his, thus stripping him from his parents, money , properties and everything.

When qr sees him he's seething and sneering, ready to pound him to death while justifying himself that it was not his fault. Turns out that they'd run to another country for a while and didn't keep contact, so qr didn't know abour their deaths, only thought they would get robbed or something.

Meanwhile hc is going down in the transparent elevator when he sees xl surrounded by 30 thugs, and begins to sweat like his life is on the line, worried beyond belief.

Cue xl dropping a flying kick and doing a backflip, and hc is just frozen. Xl fights and spins like he's dancing and kicks everyone's asses and hc is so horny he's about to die.

When he gets down his men clean up the mess and xl is just shaking qr and lowkey screaming at him while the other cries.

He asks hc to take him to prison so he can reform, and then xl goes to thank him like nothings happened but hc is so in love he can hardly contain himself.

I've got nothing after this but maybe hc tries to court xl but he's dense and doesn't notice although he gets gifts on a daily basis and the hospital now looks so high class thanks to his donations.

Eventually, thanks to sqx maybe, xl realizes he likes hc and he kind of confesses in a moment of passion (a kiss).

Also it turns out that when xl family got killed, hc had been there, forced by the boss to 'train', that had been before hc overthrew him and became the new boss, and it had been him who hid xl away and saved his life, but he was too late to save his parents.

Xl didn't remember because after that he ws in a bad place, and it took some time for him to recuperate, but he was grateful anyway.

They married someday and hc and his dog e-ming lived with xl and his cat in a wondeful mansion. The end.

Scum villain AU where everything is the same (as in settings and story and what not) but people ( mainly SQQ ) are just really straightforward with each other, avoiding misunderstandings and changing the plot in the future.

Exhibit A: Abyss scene.

LBH: Shizun, do you really...hate this disciple so much? Does Shizun really want to push me into this abyss? *tears up*

SQQ, internally: Bitch, no wtf.

SQQ, externally: Of course not, BingHe, this master has raised you since young, how could i hold any kind of hatred towards you? I'm...-waits to see if the system intervenes - being forced to do this, or this master's life is forfeit. And while I do not fear death...i still value my life, and regardless of my unwillingness to do this, you still need to go there, BingHe.

LBH: W....why Shizun?

SQQ: Right now the seal that has been forcibly released is unstable, if you remain here you will be hunted for your heritage, and while this master doesn't care about it, other people won't be as forgiving. Every time you experience strong emotion, your powers will go out of control, you might hurt people or yourself. The only way to avoid tragedy is train yourself inside the abyss. This master is truly sorry, BingHe.

LBH: This disciple...understands. But Shizun...this disciple has heard things about the demon realm....terrifying things. This disciple is weak and selfish....fearing loneliness more than anything, so even though this disciple is more than willing to comply, he wonders if Shizun would grant this unreasonable request.

SQQ: Say it.

LBH: This disciple would never wish upon Shizun any kind of harm, but...would Shizun be willing to accompany this disciple on his journey? This disciple fears that he might not be strong enough to persevere on his own. This disciple is unsightly and scared...

SQQ, wondering if it would be an infraction to do as he says, waiting for any kind of notification from the system and trying not to look at BingHe's crying face, knowing he's going to cave in in the end.

SQQ, internally: You know what? Fuck this, I'm not going to abandon him, i was against this in the first place, and the system said to make him fall to the abyss, never said i couldn't go with him.

SQQ: This master understands.

He slowly approaches his white lotus disciple who he raised since young, cute and honest and righteous, hugging him tightly while BingHe holds on for dear life. And he knows he could never be able to hurt him in any way , not without an explanation, at least.

SQQ, internally: F**k Airplane rising towards the sky and f**k the plot, I'm not going to let him suffer like this, this cute child.

SQQ: BingHe, let's fall.

Cue 3 years of adventures on the demon realm as they grow closer and fuck up the plot.

I’m, like, so weak for time travel fix-it fics!? For any fandom!? Like, Scum Villan, for example.

Like, imagine SQQ, as he’s living happily with LBH, and they go investigate something in the demon realm and he accidentally steps into an array and-BAM, he’s gone and the last thing he saw was his husband’s terrfied face.

Then he wakes up, and he’s in his bed in the bamboo house at qing jing peak and he’s like, ‘Did LBH bring me here to recuperate?’ So he’s like calling for his husband, and the door opens but it’s MF and ‘Why the heck does he look so young? Last i saw him he was married and with kids?’ and the disciple is terrified at his pale scared face and goes to call YQY while SQQ is having a mental breakdown.

Then in his head just echoes the sound of the google voice he’s hated so much and it just quickly repeats what he heard the first time he transmigrated and SSQ just, loses it.

“System, don’t try to f*uck with me, i dealt with you once, i can do it again.I know you know we went back in time, so quietly enter standby/sleep mode and don’t bother me, or else.” And the system just, weeps and quietly obeys, and sqq continues to panic and begins crying but then-

Then he has a rebelation and is like- ‘Wait a second, if i’m back in time, does this mean....all the misunderstandings, the pain BingHe had to go through...all the times i was an asshole to him.....i can change that?’

And then he’s giddy and excited and just, begins switching between indecisive (because changing the past may change their future and no matter what he usually says he loves his husband) and determined to give his love the best life he can.

He decides to do the latter, fate be damned.

So he chats with YGY and MQF, assures them that he’s okay, and orders MF to call all the disicples and then he goes out and bullshits his way through an explanation of why they had been torturing Binghe like this, making himself look innocent. Like:

‘I was testing you, to see if you had good, righteous hearts that would choose the right path. I know you respect your elders and that you were scared to contradict me in fear of being kicked out, it happens in every sect. But instead of helping your shidi in secret, you kept hurting him to please me, besides NYY here, all of you failed this test that this master set up.’ And the disciples are like , we f*ucked up, then SQQ tells them that if they dslike LBH, it’s okay to ingore him, but hurting a fellow disciple is forbidden.

Of course the same applies to befriending him, if they are insincere, don’t bother. In the end, only NYY goes, and the others are told to cultivate and reflect on their actions. Then SQQ asks where LBH is and he goes to the wood shed and thinks of a way to bullshit through this but-

But he sees him, bruised and hurt and looking at him with admiration and respect and he’s like- inner-screaming because he looks so tender and sweet, so young, such a white lotus!! And he fangirls inside his mind for a while before explaining to him the same fake story he told the others, but sayng that it was also to test his will and his stenght and his endurance and perseverance, and that he passed with flying colors.

Then he apologizes and bows his head and LBH nearly has an aneurysm!? Because Shizun is showing him respect what the hell? And he gets all flustered and then SQQ treats his wound and LBG is ????????????.

Afterwards SQQ goes to look for SQH and tells him what happened and they both inwardly scream and SQQ is so happy for not having OOC restrictions.

Cue both of them f*ucking everything up as they try to fix the painful parts of the story, taking any and every shojo cliche they know and trying to make them a reality, for the suffering of everyone in cang qiong mountain and the demon realm.

 In the city with the first boss, SQQ obliterates butterfly and saves LBH and NYY, gaining their trust and respect. He tries to act cool, he succeeds.

At the fight with Sha Hualing, SQQ loudly reveals a lot of embarrasing secrets he knew of her, personal stuff that make her blush and she runs away screaming. He avoids being poisoned and making LBH feel guilty, then praises him for his battle prowress. SQH and SQQ high-give after.

With the abyss thing, SQH sticks to MBJ like glue, leaving the demon confused and half-angry half-curious, while SQQ tells LBH that they’ll go together to the abyss and train. LBH refuses, saying he will go alone and grow strong enough to protect him, then he will come back. SQQ doesn’t want to, and tells him to stay away from Xin Mo. LBH agrees, turns back, and before going, he runs and smacks a sweet kiss on SQQ face, then jumps down. SQQ smiles like a dork for the rest of the day.

Then LBH comes back, and he’s the sexy mf SQQ remembered and he nearly loses it. They try to solve the case and SQQ goes to ‘hunt snakes’, to wich LBH answers with a tilt of his head and an big ? SQQ does catch the snake, makes Zhuzhi Lang confess his crimes, and clears his name.

Everthing continues to alter like this as SQQ tries to fill every plot point with fluff and happiness, even going as far as to help SQH capture his love, because he finally admitted that yes, MBJ is hot, and yes, i want him to be my bf.

Note to self: never say things you don't mean because you're angry, you'll regret it like, 2 seconds after, and 4 the rest of your life.

Rating as far as worst days of my life go: today; 10 out of 10, actually ahead of any other, i want to get back to 10 am me and smack her so hard she gets a fuckin concussion.

God, never let yourself be so stressed you pay it with someone else, someone you love. I've never felt as miserable as today after making my old father cry, saying some hurtful words. And even after he's forgiven me, i will NEVER forgive myself.

It is the worst feeling and i know deep inside it will never go away. Because i have anxiety, and regardless if he says its all in the past, my brain will always tell me he resents me secretly, he hates me secretly, and i know its not true, but it will always feel like it is, and i brought this upon myself.