#uktopsurgery

It seems like people are still finding this blog from time to time, so I thought I’d post an update for my chest’s fifth birthday today.

There isn’t really much to say in terms of my chest itself. It hasn’t changed very much in the last two years, but the scars have continued to fade and flatten and I think the area where the stitch got infected is less obvious. My body has changed because I’ve been on a low does of testosterone (on and off, but about 18 months total), though I don’t think it has affected the shape of my chest much. 

In terms of where the UK is at with top surgery for nonbinary people, it seems to be a double-edged sword where gender clinics have become more open to the diversity of trans experiences over the last five years, but at the same time the infrastructure of NHS gender clinics is in complete collapse, so it doesn’t make any fucking difference becuase people can’t access treatment in any reasonable timescale. For me, it took 3 years and 8 months from referall to the clinic to having my surgery, which now sounds supersonic when you consider that my partner who was referred in 2018, waited four years just to have an initial appointment, by which point they had been on private hormone treatment for 2 years.

Trans care isn’t the only area of the NHS that is suffering under the tories, obviously, but it does seem to be an area at the forefront of defacto privitasiation because people are desperate for treatment that is just not being made available.

Which is just to say, I am aware that I am very lucky to have got this life-changing surgery when and where I did, and I’m rooting hard for everyone out there who is struggling to access the care they need.

My name is Kota, although my friends call me Scourf. I’m 22 years old and currently studying for a masters degree in neuroscience in the UK. When I’m not in university, I love to draw, sing, play instruments - anything creative really ☺️

I have been out as non-binary for just over 8 years however I haven’t openly gone by neutral pronouns exclusively until recently. I was initially referred to the GIC back in 2018 and have been on the waiting list for a consultation for around 3 years. During this period, waiting times for treatment on the NHS have increased and without private treatment, I could potentially be looking at an extra 2-3 years for an initial appointment and a further 1-2 years for top surgery.

Having been out for eight years, I’ve struggled with gender dysphoria since puberty, although I wasn’t able to put a name to what exactly it was that I was feeling. I previously binded with unhealthy materials but despite purchasing a proper binder, my chest dysphoria meant that I had to wear this for dangerous periods of time - which subsequently resulted in breathing difficulties and bruised ribs. Because of this, I can no longer wear a binder for more than 3-4 hours at a time without discomfort or asthma. The intense dysphoria I feel on a semi-daily basis has had a negative impact on my relationship with family and friends and has impacted my ability to participate comfortably in activities others find enjoyable.

In the past I have donated to other individuals transition funds on Gofundme and other platforms but I never thought I would be in the position where I’d have to make one myself. Unfortunately due to the waiting times for treatment, I have had to make a tough decision of either scraping together enough money for private treatment, or spend the rest of my young adulthood despising my body and who I am as a person. And although top-surgery is the first stepping stone in my transition, it is also the most significant for me as a person.

Top surgery would allow me to finally feel comfortable in my own skin, something that I’ve struggled with since my early teens. I would finally be able to start dancing, exercising in public and swimming without binding or wearing a baggy T-shirt. This would also have a massive impact on my mental health, as I have struggled with depressive and dissociative episodes for a while.

To sum it up, having this surgery would be absolutely life changing for me - or more appropriately, I’d finally be able to start living my life as me. If you could spare any amount towards medical costs, it would mean the world to me. Every penny counts and I would be eternally grateful. If not, I ask you only to consider sharing this page to friends and family on social media as it could make all the difference. Thank you for taking the time to read this and I hope you have a wonderful day!!

Top surgery: done. I repeat, done! Went in around 1pm, Came back around 5pm, I think. Had some lovely time with the besties visiting. Now sleeping in smol bursts while the nurses come in and check on me every 2 hours, and trying to keep on top of pain control for now.

Day 3 post op, DI top surgery with Mr Andy Mellington in Brighton.

Obviously I haven’t seen under the dressings and tape yet, but so far I’m very pleased with how flat my chest is even with swelling that is bound to happen with any kind of surgery like this. Speaking of swelling, there is very little noticeable, and some very minor bruising. All in all, everything looks very clean and neat. Still wearing post-op binder 24 hours a day, minus a few breaks to get some air on my skin.

Everyone including me is shocked at how much mobility I’m getting back, and how quickly. Slowly getting up to speed with the physio the hospital sent me home with, getting more and more range of motion back every time I do my routine now. The surgeon would like me to have a good range of arm and shoulder motion back before my 2 week post op appointment on the 8th of Nov, however, so a bit of work still to go.

Being careful to keep all my dressings completely dry, got some help to have a flannel-shower and hair-wash in the kitchen sink, and felt loads better for being clean.

18 days post-op