#uh yeah oops

The nature of Shadow Milk and Pure Vanilla's relationship strikes a couple of keynotes in my experience that make a fic "good".

One of the most beautiful fics, depicts what the readers want and crave, and takes that away by referencing the unrealistic expectations of such a thing. It's called fan fiction.

And at the end of the day, lots of dialogue exchanges, comfort, and even angst can sometimes dip into things that can quite literally seem unreal.

For example, how therapeutic is it to read a fic about your comfort character self harming, and to have another comfort them? How unrealistic does it feel when you read that fan fic to see a mental breakdown handled in such a beautiful way that makes you think "wow if someone said that to me everything would be so much better".

Unfortunately, fan fiction and the world of writing in general is unrealistic. For something to feel that perfect, it must be cultivated through the mind of another.

In the real world, when we are put in situations such like there are in fan fics and other fictional depictions we make our decisions based on spontaneous draws of our own personality.

As a person who attaches myself to Pure Vanilla as a character, every time I read his characterization in canon, and even in fanfic I think to myself: "What would I do in a situation like his? Would I make the same choices? Say the same words?"

Usually, the answer is no.

Sometimes- very occasionally, it's yes. And those moments make me perhaps feel some fleeting moment of pride. That yes, if someone like Shadow Milk was breaking down in my arms, talking about not being 'supposed' to feel real emotions, I would comfort him in the same way Pure Vanilla would.

The point is most of the time fictions are just that. Fictions. While the realistic depiction of things usually is a bittersweet sort of hurt and comfort all wrapped up in one hard to swallow package.

Fiction is a place to displace ourselves from that reality.

So when fiction breaks that expectation and starts decomposing what is realistic and what's not, it's ground breaking to us.

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With that out of the way, how does this apply to Jambound?

On it's own, the premise of Jambound depicts Shadow Milk, out of fear of being abandoned and left alone again, casting a spell that binds him and Pure Vanilla soul-wise.

Shadow Milk ends up choosing to stay at Pure Vanilla's castle in order to try and deal with this bond in an easier manner.

To me, this is the part of Jambound that draws not only the reader in but it plays with what fanfictions are prided on being. The 'trope' part of the fanfic.

This is the part where the slow burn happens, where Shadow Milk 'warms up' to being in Pure Vanilla's presence. As the two fall in love the readers want to see more.

Every plot twist, every connection the two share between their soul jams makes the reader squeal and run around. It makes their connection deeper.

Ideally, after they've truly reached the peak- the point where they exchange kisses on the regular, the point where everything is comfortable and domestic- this is where the fanfic would end.

Happily ever after, the fiction would keep this fantasy alive because that is what it's supposed to do.

Jambound takes this a step further, but tearing it all apart.

The connections and deep sickly love that the fic brings the readers to reveals the bittersweet truth we all know in the backs of our minds when reading.

In reality, this would be toxic.

It is unhealthy to spend all of your time with one person. To isolate yourself from all other types of communication. Even when speaking to others, all you can talk about is this singular other person. Everyone craves to be someone's first choice. This is what defines many of the people that get INTO fandoms in the first place.

The idea of having a hyper fixation already means that if you. The reader. Are reading Jambound, you have at least the understanding capable to process the longing of wanting another to pick YOU over anyone else.

Whenever something exciting happens, who do you go to share it with?

Your person.

The same way Shadow Milk craved that from Pure Vanilla.

But unfortunately, this is still a fictional want. In theory it sounds amazing, but in practice it's exhausting. Jambound addresses this and it's horribly relatable because on a very real note this type of unhealthy latching onto relationships happens in the real life much too often.

Or rather, this type of relationship happens much too often in the virtual world.

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Returning back to the idea that the readers of Jambound are probably a very specific flavor of neurodivergence, I can bet that at least half of them know/have experienced the idea of making a new online friend.

The sense of finding one person in a video game, talking to them in chat, and eventually texting them, sending them Tik Tok, etc. Every interaction is a thrill, you want to never stop talking to that person. They become the Shadow Milk or Pure Vanilla to each other and vice versa.

This is the trope part of the relationship just like Jambound. Silly interactions happen, you play games together, have good ideas, talk and have GOOD. TIMES.

You have your times in the markets, dancing in a ball, being proud of this person being your number one person.

But in the end, the reality is that it's exhausting to give everything to one person. There are some problems that reveal themselves that are only remedied by having a life disconnected from this bind.

Jambound does an excellent example of this by having Shadow Milk realize HE cast the binding spell in the first place and has to severe it.

Just like how coo-dependent online relationships are horribly draining and often times are only caused because someone's one or even both parties constantly instigate interactions.

The reality is that online relationships like those fall apart. There's blocking, ignoring for long moments of time, insisting on spending every waking moment together until there's an expectation and responsibility to pick THEM over everything.

People come to fiction to escape this.

So Jambound doing this sort of break and showing a codependent relationship failing is groundbreaking. Managing to compel such a baseline phenomenon to be communicated through Shadownilla makes the readers go insane. Because they KNOW what that's like.

They know that it has to end, and as the fic gets closer and closer to revealing that the bind that the readers had been enjoying so much is not realistic, the reader themselves already knew this to some degree. They already knew it was coming but only moments before it strikes them, just like it strikes Shadow Milk.

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And the coping of breaking such codependency is heart wrenching too. Because after the 'trope' stage of the fic, it's now comepltley realistic. To the point of showing the highs and lows of coping with breaking off such a codependent relationship.

Shadow Milk bed rotting for days and days on end, and realizing that the only reason he's aching is because all he can think of is Pure Vanilla. Shadow Milk leaving to distract himself by doing anything- anything at all to not think about him. For their own good.

Most people in real life get stuck at this stage. They can't hold out, and many people that are in codependent relationships don't realize that those distractions are good. That they aren't meant to 'fix' their pain. Their pain from being away from their codependent half is caused simply because of their own fixation.

Shadow Milk's pain is only caused because of his own fixation.

I think the part that strikes me the most is the fact that Jambound doesn't stop either.

It's a trend with fanfictions: stop at the fiction. Stop at the comfort, stop at the hurt/no comfort.

They don't show a realistic healing process, and why would they? No one wants to read about what already happens to them in real life. No one wants to read that- but yet. Somehow, it's all a lie isn't it?

How could Jambound as a fanfiction BREAK the fandom in such a way that the canon voice actors are aware of it?

It lures everyone in with the promise of being a fiction.

Hurts everyone by showing them how that fiction is unattainable and unrealistic.

But it also, shows how to heal and fix that.

Shadow Milk spending time with other cookies to try and pass the time he needs in order to break the bond is therapeutic to read.

I am a person, who problem solves. I am also a person who loves psychology and analyzing the semantics of human behavior.

People need others in their life. Not to fix a problem 'just like that'. But to remind themselves that there's more out there. The expansion of the world to more than one person.

The entire reason why the saying 'touch grass' became a thing was because when one person gets fixated on one thing for too long, their whole world is narrows down to that singular thing. Nothing else matters, and they physically become BLIND to the happenstances around them.

In the worst cases, they are aware but don't bother with trying to expand their options. To try and take a walk. To try and speak to friends when they are available. To give themselves a goal that is not associated with that fixation at all.

Shadow Milk is stronger than this. He loves Pure Vanilla in Jambound, he really does. He tries for the sake of their love to expand his options. And it's rewarded, because he himself describes feeling 'clearer than he has in days'.

Reading it in a fanfic definitely makes processing feelings easier. In real life, the muted realization that suddenly being away from your co-dependent half isn't so bad isn't as ground breaking.

But in the end, Jambound is still a fiction. It's still a bit overdramatized. Plus.

Shadow Milk is anything but a bad performer is he not? He'll always narrate things in his own special way, especially with the 'holy characterization' way Jamma writes him.

I find that sometimes, when fanfic does this- when it depicts such absolutely ground breaking heart wrenching scenarios, under the lens of a pair of characters I already understand to the fullest?