#ugh...my heart

The Clearing

I treat happiness like the half-tamed deer I have coaxed into a clearing and want only to be near- If I look right at it, it will spook and disappear. Instead I have to look studiously away, offering my mind permission to marvel only out of the furthest corner of my eye.

If I reach out to it with a handful of something sweet, it will smell a trap and start away, flash of a white tail into the underbrush. No sudden movements. I only want to look at you. Stay, just long enough to let me look at you in the fading light.

In church on my wedding day.

Three times today alone I realized I had some Need, and went to go deal with it, only to find that he had already anticipated the Need and fulfilled it, without comment, when I wasn’t looking. Then I thought back and realized that had been happening basically every day, and then I had to make this post.