#ufwu

@ufwu

nathaniel finds himself on these little escapades more and more nowadays. the running excuse is that he simply wants to see the city more, explore it on his own terms, but deep down he knows it's something less admirable. he feels simultaneously lost and trapped, and wandering around aimlessly like a child was the only way he could convince himself that he still had control over his life. he sincerely doubts it's convincing anyone else, though.

plans for his marriage are moving ever forward, and the closer and closer it gets to fruition, the more frequently he finds himself outside castle walls. even though they had visitors today, he managed to sneak out under the pretense of needing fresh air. he's sure his mother will be enough of a host to entertain them, anyway. sitting around talking about politics and the economy was tedious enough during work hours--if he had an excuse to skip out on repeating formalities and conversations with their guests, he was going to take it.

he's promised himself to wean off having these thoughts, though. the more he keeps thinking about it, the more tortured he feels when in reality he really isn't. why would he be? being engaged to a beautiful, skilled lady from a noble house would be enviable to anyone else. as far as the general public is concerned, they're a picture perfect couple, even if they weren't marrying for love (but what noble does, nowadays). many men would put their lives on the line to be in his position, and yet...

he stops in his tracks as he spots a familiar face in an unfamiliar location. they were in his little corner in the far reaches of the castle gardens where only gardeners stop by occasionally. no servant ever passes by, let alone guests of honor, but his expression softens when he sees the troubled look on her face.