SYNAGOGUE ETIQUETTE

              When you come to services, there is a lot to remember, whether it is Shabbat or the High Holy Days. Every service has its own pace and rhythm, although they share many prayers in common.

            Perhaps one of the most basic rules in the sanctuary is to stand when the ark is open or the Torah is in someone’s arms. It is a sign of honor and respect not to sit when the history, law, and teachings of our people—God’s revelation—is among the people. When a Torah is in the Torah stand or flat on the reading table, or being held by someone and they are sitting, then you can sit. What happens if you are in a wheelchair or it is difficult for you to stand? Of course, no one expects you to stand, but in that case you may want to sit taller in your chair as a sign of honor and respect.

            Another issue of synagogue etiquette is that of needing to leave the prayer space and re-enter. There are times when we are all called out of a service, maybe to deal with children or nature, but that does not mean you should just causally walk back in and sit down. This is where it is helpful to know the service. If there is no usher to guide you (and all Temple Bat Yam services will soon regularly have ushers!) remember this: if the congregation is standing in prayer this is not a time to stroll up and down the aisles. Standing indicates an important part of the service. It is not a time to be going in and out of the sanctuary. During the Torah service it is expected that congregants will not enter and leave the sanctuary.

            In our congregation we make both yarmulkes/kippot and tallitot/prayershawls available. Wearing a kippah is of course mandatory for men in an Orthodox synagogue and in most Conservative congregations as well. But it is optional in most Reconstructionist and Reform congregations. In fact, there was a time in many Reform congregations during the 18th and 19th centuries that you would have been asked to remove your kippah if you entered the synagogue wearing one.

            Kippahs and tallitot are worn to enhance the spiritual experience of services. A kippah is worn to remind you that God is above. It is a sign of holiness. It is a reminder of the crown of Torah and the crown of the High Priest in the ancient temple. A tallit has tzitzit, or fringes, on its four corners. They are knotted with special significance to remind us of the 613 commandments of the Torah. In some communities the tallit isn’t worn unless a person is married. In other communities tallitot begin to be worn after a Bar or Bat Mitzvah. We wrap ourselves in a tallit to create a sacred space around us, and to remind us of the 613 commandments of the Torah

            Tallitot are worn only during services that occur in the day time (with the exception of Kol Nidre). The reason for this is that one is supposed to be able to see the tzitzit, and before electricity it was difficult to do this at night. Traditionally, prayer leaders wear a tallit for every service. The other time congregants are requested to wear a tallit is if one is called for an aliyah—to bless the Torah before the scroll is read.

            There is one other issue of synagogue etiquette that is perhaps more challenging to resolve: that is the issue of clapping during services. Sometimes we hear a musical piece or listen to someone read a passage so beautifully that we are moved to spontaneous applause. However, applause does not really belong in a prayer service. What is traditional is to say, outloud, “Yasher Koach”---which means congratulations, well done. When we do this we retain the spirit of the service and also let someone know how much we appreciated their participation.