i am starting to innerstand the importance of exercise for wellness, and not for punishment or for doomsday ! exercise should be pleasureful + challenging, whilst also taking care of and preserving our bodies... the crunches + the core workout, helps me not feel anxious, as i'm way too in my body to be within my head... interesting thing to note, this is not new news for me, but the first time i'm really allowing myself to be conscious of it... i have lived in auto-pilot + anxiety for a lot of my life, and starting to notice it degrade, when i surrender to wellness practices...
i say surrender, because the word commit, feels binding... i surrender and dedicate myself to it, and it's results are so alluring, that i want to come back. i choose to, i decide to return on my own will, not from obligation. obligation and un-willful commitment scares me, and i am curious to find more curiosity about finding more pleasure and joy + autonomy in my life. i am reframing my relationship to discipline, it feels something freeing and autonomous for me right now. it feels really cool. joy + desire are import aspects of my life that i personally need to infuse, in order to make life worth living...ankh udja seneb...✨
